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'General Hospital' fan recap: Second time around

Season 54 | Episodes 89–93| Aired Aug 8–13, 2016

Sometimes a character on General Hospital can be written into a corner, be it by death or limited run, but the show really, really likes the actor. And thus viewers are introduced to either the long-lost twin or the new character that just so happens to strongly resemble a completely separate role. The twin arc is currently being covered by Dr. Joe Rivera, Carlos’ estranged twin, who also has a soft spot for Sabrina.

Of course, the hall-of-fame multi-role actor will always be Michael Easton and his five different General Hospital/Port Charles incarnations, but now Chloe Lanier is added to the mix. Chloe first impressed the powers that be, as well as viewers, in her limited 2015 run as young Patricia Spencer during the “how Luke became Fluke” saga. Chloe returns to the show as Nelle Hayes, who may or may not be Josslyn’s mystery kidney donor. Nelle’s intention seems pure, but is anything really ever as it seems in Port Charles?

Right now it certainly seems as though Jax has nefarious motives. What other reason could there be for not wanting to find out who Josslyn’s mystery donor is? While Josslyn’s teen angst is understandable, Jax doesn’t really represent her long-term best interests by siding with her, does he? Nelle insists she has no ulterior motives, other than learning the truth about her own history. Feeling accused, she takes off, with Michael in pursuit.

At the hottest outdoor coffee shop in town, which will surely suffer in winter months, Nelle runs into an inquisitive Josslyn. The two bond over a Snapchat-esque photo app, and Josslyn decides that Nelle would make a great girlfriend for Michael. Of course, this raises the question: Why doesn’t Josslyn know that Michael is dating Sabrina? And how weird would it be if Michael dated someone who is the spitting image of his great-aunt? It remains to be seen whether Nelle ends up having a Port Charles connection or is just a random new girl in town.

Hayden, remembering that there’s more to life than caring for Finn, learns from Elizabeth about Nikolas’ fake-then-real death. It’s a disgusting confrontation in which Elizabeth blames Hayden for Nikolas’ situation, claiming that Hayden drove Nikolas to fake his death by blackmailing him. As for the fact that all of this is based on Nikolas trying to have Hayden killed? Elizabeth shrugs it off because Nikolas loved Hayden. Luckily, Hayden is no shrinking violet, and she reminds Elizabeth that Nikolas’ motive for attempted murder was trying to keep Jason’s identity a secret, largely to Elizabeth’s benefit.

Hayden does have an emotional response to Nikolas’ most recent death. In fact, she’s more emotional than she was the last time she thought he was dead. Hayden bemoans to Finn that she is pissed at Nikolas and glad he’s actually dead but unsure what to do with the feelings that she’ll never see Nikolas again. Overall, Hayden admits that it’s all terribly sad and a waste.

Speaking of a waste, the #Julexis pairing lives on, seemingly only in the eyes of Julian Jerome. Julian sits in his jail cell, dreaming of Alexis agreeing to run away with him, but she has no such plans. Alexis asks for his help in her disbarment hearing, but Julian blithely requests her help in his own case. After Julian’s repeated declaration of love, Alexis lashes out that he doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Julian still wants to escape, and his henchman Holt is only too happy to bribe a guard to leave his keys with Julian. Julian fumbles with the keys and drops them, and Nina is on hand to retrieve them. Nina dangles the keys until Julian signs new papers, guaranteeing her sole ownership of Crimson. Nina thinks Julian would best be served pleading guilty and sparing his family. In regards to his pledge of mutual love for Alexis, Nina calls him out on his denial.

Also in PCPD custody is Valentin, who is soon to be extradited to Greece. Lulu confronts him about the skeleton, asking if he killed Luke. Valentin claims to have nothing but admiration for the Spencer family; his only adversaries are the Cassadine family. He also admits to no knowledge of Daphne and her address corresponding to the one Helena left Lulu. In fact, the only thing Valentin has to offer up is to Nina, regretting nothing of their night together. Lulu does ask Tracy for an old hairbrush or something of her father’s, hoping the DNA will match the earring. For whatever reason, Lulu doesn’t think a familial match, meaning herself, will be enough.

Ava’s back in the swing of things, blasting Kiki for getting back together with Morgan and the accompanying STI. Ava tells Kiki to end things since Morgan never will. Ava tells her daughter that she’s just a crutch to Morgan: his caretaker, since he can’t be alone. But Kiki isn’t in the mood to listen to her mother, reminding her that many of her and Morgan’s issues (beyond the bipolar disorder) directly correlate to Ava/Denise and her shenanigans. But Kiki, holding firm to her grown-up guns, tells Ava to get out and stay out.

Franco is stunned to find himself suspended from GH, despite having been exonerated of murder chargers. Truthfully, it doesn’t make any sense. Franco wallows in self-pity, once again prattling on to Elizabeth about how she didn’t stand by him. Elizabeth tries to get a word in, but Franco just skulks away to be alone with his moodiness. It comes as a great shock to him when Obrecht reveals that Elizabeth is responsible for clearing his name.

Beyond Hayden and Franco, Elizabeth has her part in a third story this week, as she encounters Sam and learns of the new #Jasam-baby-to-be. Sam admits she hasn’t told Jason yet, as she’s waiting to learn of their malaria test results. Both Jason and Sam have good initial results, but Sam isn’t ready to tell him about the baby until she knows for certain. Jason knows Sam is hiding something and urges her to tell him, adding that fear and avoidance aren’t the way to deal with whatever it is.

Kristina learns that her mother talked to Parker the morning after and before Parker sent her the farewell email. Kristina angrily accuses Alexis of ruining things because her own love life is in such shambles. Having had such amazing clarity when explaining things to Aaron, Kristina has a tendency to regress into a brat whenever her parents are involved. Alexis finally points out that Parker isn’t there or fighting for Kristina, so maybe (like her mother) Kristina needs to move the hell on.

At her apartment, Ava is shocked to find it in shambles, but she moves on to repulsed when she realizes it’s from Lucy and Scott getting busy, in her living room no less. Ava kicks out Scotty and informs Lucy that Kevin is in the hospital. Lucy heads over to GH, where Kevin and Laura are visiting. Kevin doesn’t seem to recall singing Laura’s praises on the airplane, and Laura keeps it to herself, seemingly content with good friendship. Lucy barges in, with a stuffed duck (naturally) in hand. Although Kevin denies feelings for Laura, Lucy gives her blessing for the pairing.

TV Families

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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