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'UnREAL' fan recap: Adam returns and Rachel crosses a line

Season 2 | Episode 7 | “Ambush” | Aired Jul 18, 2016

Adam returned on tonight’s UnREAL, and that wasn’t even the most dramatic thing that happened in the episode — not even remotely. But before we get to what was the most dramatic thing, let’s take a second to unpack Adam’s return and all it  means for Rachel and the show (or, really, shows — because it impacts both UnREAL and Everlasting).

For anyone who didn’t watch last season (but seriously, if you didn’t, please go do that right now. It’s all on Hulu, so there’s no excuse), Adam was Everlasting‘s previous suitor. He’s everything you’d think a suitor on The Bachelor Everlasting should be — wealthy, British, a little disgraced, but in a still-appealing, bad-boy kind of way. Like this season’s Darius, Adam needed to revamp his public image. He was using the show, not just genuinely looking for love. But find love he did. Not on the show technically, but through it. Adam fell for Rachel. Hard. And she fell for him right back. Last season’s love triangle was Adam-Rachel-Jeremy and, by the end, she’d chosen Adam. She wanted to run away with him and leave Everlasting and Quinn and everything else about her old life in the dust.

But then she didn’t. Adam left Rachel, devastated her, and broke her heart into a thousand tiny pieces. And, since Rachel’s heart was already in pretty bad shape (imagine lots of Scotch tape and oozing globs of Elmer’s glue holding cracked pieces together), that wasn’t great. This season, she seems to be turning things around and embarking on a healthy-ish relationship with wunderkind showrunner Coleman, but it’s clear she’s not playing at 100 percent. She’s damaged, even by Rachel standards, and the hits just keep coming. Already this season, she’s lost her promotion, lost her friendship (or … whatever-ship) with Quinn, been physically assaulted, and then asked to cover that assault up. She’s barely holding it together, so when Quinn brings Adam back in an attempt to drive a hunky man-shaped wedge between Rachel and Coleman, it’s not good.

The things is, the Adam plan almost works. Quinn knows what’s she’s doing, after all. Rachel almost gives in to the temptation to fall back into Adam’s arms (or at least back into his … other body parts) a couple of times. There’s a steamy kiss and the frantic unbuttoning of jeans. There’s an almost-rendezvous in Rachel’s office. But she technically holds out. She technically doesn’t self-destruct, even though it’s an easy option, right there in front of her (because, let’s be clear, Adam is in it to win it; he wants Rachel back, and he’s pursuing her doggedly, new boyfriend be damned).

After successfully dodging the Adam bullet, Rachel tells Quinn off, big time. In a beautifully Mean Girls–esque moment, she tells Quinn to stop being so obsessed with her. It’s harsh, but not unwarranted, really. Quinn had just sabotaged a possible job with John Booth (who Quinn is totally falling in ~love~ with, by the way) for Rachel and brought Adam back specifically to break up Rachel and Coleman. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s Quinn trying to ruin Rachel’s professional and romantic prospects, to keep her world totally revolving around Everlasting. Quinn decides to get away from the Everlasting mansion after Rachel’s takedown, and she and John Booth go off to have ~romance~.

While Quinn’s away the mice will go totally bonkers, so Rachel and Coleman make some really, really bad choices. Darius has a terrible date with Chantal and seeks refuge with Yael (aka “Hot Rachel”) and Tiffany, taking them on a joyride along with his cousin, Romeo. Since they technically “steal” a car from the Everlasting set, Rachel and Coleman call the police on them, in the hopes of capturing the debacle on camera to make a point. Everything goes according to plan (the cops pull Darius and Romeo over and force them to get out of the car to arrest them), but Rachel gets cold feet. She feels bad because Darius is being hurt and arrested and she bolts out of the bushes where she and Coleman have been hiding to try to clear things up. Instead of helping, however, she startles the arresting officer — who ends up shooting Romeo.

It’s a final straw for Rachel. She completely breaks down. She pushes Adam away, yet again, when he tries to comfort her. She calls her mother and, as we see clearly in the previews for next week’s episode, checks herself into a mental hospital of some kind. This isn’t the first time Rachel has had a breakdown, but it’s certainly her most severe to date. UnREAL will have to make an interesting choice moving forward — really, truly allow Rachel to get the help that she needs to get healthy, or have her backpedal once again.

UnREAL airs Mondays at 10/9C on Lifetime.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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