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'Rock This Boat' fan recap: Who’s your favorite TV icon?

Season 2 | Episode 6 | “Less Clothes, More Fun” | Aired Jul 6, 2016

It’s TV icon night, and everyone is excited to debut creative costumes on the lido deck. Well, everyone except mother/daughter duo Laurie and Beth, who have confiscated a pair of scissors to cut down an official NKOTB Rock This Boat banner so they can hang it above their bed. It’s okay to steal on a cruise. Everyone knows that.

Before the big party, Joey has to rehearse with all of the “Duets at Dusk” ladies. Unfortunately, he’s asleep, and Johnny K., the official “New Kids Go-To Guy” is stuck with the daunting task of waking the slumbering Mr. McIntyre. Rumor has it that Joey isn’t a happy camper when forced to rise from his bed in order to croak out a few bars of “Endless Love.”

Do you know who else is cranky? Kayla’s sister K’Lyssa. She’s currently growing a human and that takes priority over everything else in life, including Kayla’s horrific rehearsal. Who cares if she was off-key and Joey sounded just like Lionel Richie? K’Lyssa thinks Kayla needs to check herself and stop being so selfish with this once-in-a-lifetime moment. Mama needs to eat.

Meanwhile, Danny has some quality time with his children at breakfast. His son Daniel reminisces about Danny’s mom Betty who passed away in 1999 from breast cancer. As a result, Danny founded an organization called Remember Betty that supports women who have been diagnosed with the same disease that took his mother. Danny hosts a cocktail party that afternoon for Remember Betty supporters, and we meet a woman named Stephanie who is a breast cancer survivor. She donates all of her wigs to the foundation, and maybe makes the entire party cry. (For more information, visit www.remembebetty.com.)

Finally, the sun dips below the horizon and the boys gather together to change into their TV-icon costumes. Jordan chooses Spock from Star Trek. Danny is Breaking Bad’s Walter White, complete with candy meth. Jonathan is Donnie’s character Danny Reagan on Blue Bloods. (*cough* SHOW PLUG *cough*) Donnie is Tom Selleck’s character on Blue Bloods (*cough* KISS UP *cough*) before making a costume change into Tom Selleck’s Magnum P.I. Donnie’s pasted-on chest hair deserves a shout-out, too.

Sweet Joey decides to go as Lieutenant Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy. Everyone on the boat Googles this name and after scrutinizing an image search, they realize that their beloved Joey is going as a character from M.A.S.H. You know, the show their grandfathers used to watch back in the day. Sorry Joe, but what were you thinking? Major party foul. He finally buys a clue and removes everything but his white tank top. More skin equals more fun. Everyone knows that.

New Facts about New Kids

  • Donnie would rather clean the toilets on the boat than wake Joey from a nap.
  • There is no corner on the boat that is safe from selfies. Once again, this is a major issue for the New Kids.
  • Danny’s daughter Chance has had a crush on every New Kid, excluding Jonathan. Her current favorite is Jordan. She’s a smart girl.

Rock This Boat airs Wednesday nights at 8/7C on Pop.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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