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'General Hospital' fan recap: Faking it

Season 54 | Episodes 60–64 | Aired Jun 27–Jul 1, 2016

After watching this week’s General Hospital, there is one question reverberating throughout viewers’ minds: When faking a positive pregnancy test, does one use mascara or eyeliner to make the drugstore test appear positive? Although Alexis’ age hasn’t been specified, it seems questionable at best that pregnancy, even a fake one, would be a feasible option for the character. But there’s little doubt that it’s decidedly fake, as Alexis never mentions the “baby” without trying to get Julian’s recorded confession.

But another question would be: Why is Sonny involved in the ploy? Sonny may have a daughter with Alexis, but he has been largely cruel to her for a very long time. It wasn’t that long ago that he proclaimed her dead to him. Wouldn’t it have been great if this caper were just Alexis and Anna working together? Would Alexis’ apology to Anna—for keeping the secret of the hit on Duke—have been more powerful if the story were driven solely by two female leads?

Of course, the fact is that the whole situation, fake pregnancy and all, only serves to highlight the utter destruction of Julian and Alexis’ love affair. As much as viewers are in disbelief, there’s not much that’s redeemable about Julian these days. His declarations of undying love to Alexis are coupled with hallucinations of Carlos, in which his subconscious urges him to kill his wife. Every time Julian tells Alexis that they can make this work, it’s difficult not to join her in a chorus of “Really?”

The other coupling that seems doomed to end badly is Morgan and Kiki. There’s no doubting that Dillon is the better guy to be in a relationship with, but Kiki seems determined to make it work with Morgan out of some sense of obligation. Morgan’s mental health and stability isn’t Kiki’s responsibility, but she seems determined to make it so. Watching Morgan and Dillon puff out their chests over Kiki was no prize, though, and it would’ve been equally nice for Kiki to tell both of them to go away.

With the exception of Lulu, nobody spoke much of Nikolas this week, which makes his decision to stay “dead” all the more laughable. And while he and Ava may not have actually had sexual relations, it’s interesting to see the duo teaming up. It’s unclear how long Tyler Christopher will be off camera, but the current not-Nikolas and Ava do have a bit of chemistry that is playing well on screen. But the whole “Ava does have the real Weeping Naiad and needs to hide from Huxley” idea is a fairly wacky reason to keep her out of Port Charles, considering how hard she fought to get Avery in the first place. As it stands, Ava has seemingly left her daughter so much that a good lawyer could probably get custody flipped to Sonny on terms of abandonment.

Jason and Sam are still in London, although Sam has gone off to the airport to run home to be by her out-on-bail mother’s side. Despite hours at seemingly the same airport, Sam doesn’t bump into Nikolas or Ava. Jason ends up in the same greenhouse that Nikolas and Ava took refuge in, but he only finds a stray earring left behind. He does manage to have a run-in with one of Huxley’s goons, which ends in a struggle over a gun, where—naturally—Jason prevails.

The new friendship is certainly strong between Hayden and Finn. After Finn saves Sabrina’s baby from infant botulism, he’s arrested for trespassing at the hospital. In his jail cell, Finn starts having withdrawal symptoms from his magical medicine. He confides to a visiting Hayden that the drugs are not FDA approved and are shipped to him from overseas. He implores Hayden to find his new shipment. Hayden happens upon a mail bin at the hospital, and after a run-in with Elizabeth, Hayden is able to procure Finn’s medicine. Returning to the cell, Finn is in bad shape, but the magical medicine works its wonders as Hayden injects it. Hayden stays by his side, on the other side of the cell bars, stroking his hair.

Franco and Elizabeth share an awkward moment, dancing around the discussion of their kiss but enjoying conversation about toast. Nina overhears and gives Franco grief for not responding to her messages. Nina deduces that Franco, being so bonded with Jake, wants to be a father, just not to her nonexistent children. Franco is at a loss for words, and Nina takes his pause to declare that they are done—done for good. Franco seeks answers about his possible feelings for Elizabeth from… his mother. Heather is just as loopy as ever, but she does drop the bombshell that she has 1.5 million dollars squirreled away.

Elizabeth gets some strange information of her own. Dr. Mays randomly starts talking to Elizabeth about how sad it is that medical advancements keep elderly people alive, likening it to torture. Elizabeth’s red flags go up, causing her to wonder if Mays is the death doctor stalking the hospital (duh). And mere moments later, she calls for assistance on an elderly patient who has collapsed.

As for the fringe stories—the ones who only pop up randomly, prohibiting much investment—we have Kristina/Aaron and T.J.’s parentage. Kristina and Aaron have a chat in the park after he comes across her leaving a voicemail for Parker. Kristina doesn’t offer much information on Parker (like pronouns), but does assure Aaron that Parker is in her past. But with the way Kristina pulls back from Aaron’s kiss, it’s still clear those feelings are unresolved.

What is finally resolved is T.J. learning that Shawn is his biological father. After overhearing Jordan and Curtis discussing it, T.J. finally reappears on screen to confront his mother and not-uncle. Jordan is less than contrite for having lied to her son, and T.J. is rightfully angry. He then makes his way to the Metro Court to give Curtis a talking to, but at some point, T.J. does have to allow people to respond to his indignation, or his declarations of being a “grown-ass man” aren’t going to hold much water.

Maxie and Nathan get their weekly brief allotment of screen time, in which Nathan accidentally sees the wedding dress Maxie has flown in from Lisbon. Maxie worries about adding bad luck on top of their relationship history, but the two set the fear aside to discuss a wedding date. And as their wedding announcement goes live online, an unseen Claudette zooms in on Nathan’s face.

And just in case you forgot, every once in a while, General Hospital does retain its sense of humor…

 

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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scale-12 padded margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <div class="letter-grade grade-only"> <span class="letter-grade-shape"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> <div id="karma-lazy-seriesDetails"></div> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="https://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="div-gpt-leaderboard-fixed-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="728x90" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div id="div-gpt-mob-square-flex-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="300x250" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> 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