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Image Credit: Barely Famous- Ep. 1

Get on board with 'Barely Famous,' folks. Seriously.

This week marks the season 2 premiere of the very funny VH1 show Barely Famous, but you probably didn’t watch season 1, you jerks. But maybe it’s just because you don’t know awesome when you see it.  No really: I can’t understand a world in which every single person isn’t watching Barely Famous. But for those of you willing to get your life right and start watching on Wednesday, here’s what was freaking amazing about season 1.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Let’s take a look back at the a too-short first season of the world’s best fake reality show. Here are the best moments, organized by sister, from each episode. Enjoy the memories.

Kate Hudson screws Sara out of a Birkin bag because Kate won an Emmy 15 years ago. Big freakin’ whoop, Kate Hudson. 

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Sara’s publicist is an idiot and caused her to be terribly mistreated by a ridiculous store clerk. Just because he didn’t watch 90210 in 2012 doesn’t make Sara any less famous. She deserves an actual Birkin bag, not the bag the Birkin comes in.

Nicole Richie outlines the Foster family tree for us, and it seems that Erin and Sara are basically Kardashians, but not famous ones.


Source: beverlyhilton.tumblr.com

Erin isn’t crazy about this characterization and resents Nicole Richie crashing her date with normal guy, Jensen. She just wants a guy who doesn’t know who Kylie Jenner is and can fix stuff. Is that so hard to come by in LA?

Waiting for James Franco
Erin chases James Franco all over Hollywood for a day-date that is definitely NOT a booty call. Right? RIGHT?!?!

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Erin and James Franco have been playing cat and mouse for two seasons, and it’s time to take it to the next level — seeing each other in the daylight. Erin seems to be more committed to the idea and winds up missing him at every spot he sends her to. Don’t play coy, James Franco.

Sara does an awesome Southern accent in an audition, but Leslie Glassman can’t take a joke, and it turns ugly.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Sara was just trying to be friendly before the audition. How was she supposed to know that she was complaining about the script to the actual writer? They should wear a sign or something. And no, Leslie Glassman, Sara DOESN’T want to face the wall again.

Favorite Socks
Erin wrestles Courteney Cox for a pair of blue ducky socks.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Courteney Cox steals Erin’s socks after forcing her to remove them at a meeting and then gaslights Erin into believing they aren’t hers. Friends really did a number on that lady.

Sara isn’t afraid to offer a bribe, as long as you don’t call it that.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Damn that Nicole Richie for being so zen and together as a mom. Poor Sara is exhausted, and now she has this Inner Smiles school crap to deal with. Sara won’t be deterred, and she pulls out all the stops to get her baby into that school — including contributing a knock-off bag and trying to bribe another school mom to keep it quiet. The things we do for our kids … when we live in Hollywood.

Be More Likeable
Sara’s boob comes out, but she doesn’t really understand the problem. 

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

This happens around the same time she admits to not knowing what a sex worker is, but adding that she’d be willing to give it a try. I think Sara would make a dynamite sex worker. #FEMINIST

Erin tries to do an unselfish thing to appear less selfish for the cameras and winds up dating a wheelchair-bound, married drunk driver.

Source: giphy.com

Erin says yes to a date with Rich, who seems pretty great at first. She’s even forgets that he’s in the wheelchair. She can’t forget, however, that he is an unapologetic drunk driver who is currently cheating on his wife and kids. Dating in L.A. is no joke.

The Foster Sisters’ Sisters
Sara celebrates the deaths of a busload of Malibu children, learns to hashtag.

Source: giphy.com

Source: giphy.com

Sara just wants to be relevant, and Twitter seems to be a good match. Except that she is “hashtag pound blessed” at the same time a bunch of kids go hurdling off a cliff to their deaths in Malibu. It was an honest mistake.

Erin’s ex thinks she’s a terrible lay and not nearly as hot as her sister.

Source: VH1/Barely Famous

When Erin tries to rekindle a relationship with her ex, Mo, she visits him during his comedy set and gets an earful. Most of his material is about how awful she is in bed and how generally awesome Sara is.  It’s the verbal equivalent of a punch in the uterus.

Bananas Foster
Erin tries to be the “cool girl” and fails miserably.

Erin and normal-guy Jensen have been spending a lot of time together, and Erin is ready to have “the talk.” Jensen … not so much. When Jensen overhears Erin rejecting Kay Cannon’s lesbian advances, calling him her “boyfriend,” he freaks and ejects the relationship faster than Top Gun.

Speaking of lesbians, Sara makes an awkward grab for Kay Cannon’s boob, and it’s as painful to watch as it sounds. Sara is desperate to be in Kay’s project, so when Erin isn’t on board with whoring herself out, Sara takes it on herself to seduce Kay. It’s hard to watch.

But that’s what makes this show so awesome. It’s funny because it’s mean.

Until Wednesday …

Source: giphy.com

Catch up on season 1 with full episodes at VH1.com and read all my thoughts about the first six episodes before this week’s premiere.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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