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'Love' fan recap: Gus and Bertie's excellent disaster

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “The Date” | Aired Feb 19, 2016

There’s a rumor going around that love is patient and love is kind, but Love is a battlefield. A just plain weird battlefield. Gus and Bertie are unarmed players in the mad game Mickey’s running.

As an addict, Mickey bores easily of regular patterns of living. This is the first time her addiction has been formally addressed. Before, her substance abuse problems weren’t presented upfront as real problems. But we tag along with Mickey to an AA meeting, where she recaps her evening of getting smashed at her best friend’s party. She leaves out the getting smashed part, though.

In five episodes, Mickey has engaged in some tragic activities, but lying at an AA meeting has to break into the top three. A fellow anonymous alcoholic named Diane offers her phone number to Mickey should she find herself reaching for a drink. “I’ve just been so distracted by being happy,” she lies through a cloud of nicotine. But, hold up. Could Mickey actually be happy?

love 105 mickey

Netflix/screengrab

Even though she set up Gus and Bertie on a date, could meeting Gus (and Bertie) be the antidote to her seemingly endless list of troubles? Will she eventually be led to some semblance of stability? According to an app, she (may have) been one-year sober (maybe from alcohol, at least?) until the events of “Party in the Hills.” Maybe Gus and not letting herself explore her feelings for him drives her wild.

Gus drives Bertie wild, too, but not like you might think. Their date goes horribly, first foiled by awkward small talk then an ill-fated draft that displaces them to a new table in the hustle and bustle of a restaurant.

It’s ironic that Bertie was nervous for this date and prodded by Mickey with questions (which probably stemmed from low-boiling jealousy more than actual interest). Gus was early — shocker of the century — and got to talking with Mickey. Their back and forth, their giggling, is natural and easy. Two things Gus and Bertie could never be on their date.

Netflix/screengrab

Netflix/screengrab

From the moment they disagree on sparkling water, Gus and Bertie’s date is all downhill. Meanwhile, Mickey’s evening home alone is on its very own downward spiral. Without the aid of weed, sex, alcohol, or whatever other mind-altering substances she’s been ingesting, she’s going stir crazy.

Inspired by an insipid infomercial, she resolves to unclutter and reorganize her living room. She arranges her books by color and turns to a homemade green juice for hydration. Even Mickey isn’t sure who she is.

Bertie isn’t responding to Gus’ unique brand of humor, so they talk about Mickey — the only thing they have in common. They finally get their food, but Bertie’s steak is so bloody it’s practically still grazing on a cattle ranch. She refuses to send it back, instead excusing herself to the bathroom to text Mickey a “thanks but no second date” message. But she doesn’t send it to Mickey. She accidentally sends it to Gus. You’ve got to love modern technology.

From there, Gus flawlessly executes a counterpunch of tanking the date. He obnoxiously takes sips of Bertie’s wine, talks about his itchy nether regions, and defends a number of our country’s most pervasive and controversial conspiracy theories. After Gus screenshots Bertie’s text and sends it to Mickey, she starts pulling the strings.

Netflix/screengrab

Netflix/screengrab

“Baller move. Go easy on her,” Mickey says when he tells her he’s blowing up the date. But that’s not enough. Mickey needs to have some fun, doesn’t she? She tells Bertie, then tells Gus that Bertie knows, and then tells Gus that Bertie knows he knows she knows.

They both tank the date, and Mickey loves it a little too much. The disaster date culminates in Gus choking on solid food, puking in the middle of the restaurant, followed by a peacemaking froyo run.

Once again, Mickey faces a tough call: Drink or feel. She declines a glass of wine from her neighbor, Syd, and while talking with her, realizes that Gus might be the nice guy she needs. Bertie and Gus return from their date on amicable terms, but Gus is annoyed with Mickey. He doesn’t want to be pawned off because she knows he likes her and she’s not interested.

But their identical taste in area rugs and Yelp jokes doesn’t lie. Mickey runs into the street in front of Gus’ car. She’s not high, she’s not under the influence of anything that’s affecting her judgment. It’s just Mickey. She leans through his window and kisses him. “Fun first date, huh?” she says before darting back into her home. Gus says it best: “What the f— was that?”

LOVE-ABLE QUOTES:
“Do you know after five years, half the weight of your pillow’s, like, bugs?”–Mickey

“In a year, I’m gonna be bragging that I introduced you at your wedding.”–Mickey, not making the start of the date awkward at all

“[Mickey] keeps me cool. I think that’s why she set us up.”–Bertie

“It’s like the tree is some kind of codependent who loves being a martyr. It’s like, ‘Tree, we know you went to Catholic school. Just get in therapy.’” –Mickey shading The Giving Tree and also herself

“Sometimes, if a waiter’s really bad, I’ll just, like, tip them 30 percent so they go, ‘I didn’t deserve this.’”–Gus, noted bad boy

All 10 season-one episodes of Love are available to stream on Netflix.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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