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'Bob's Burgers' extra-rare performer of the week: Mono Mona Tina

Season 6 | Episode 14 | “The Hormone-iums” | Aired Apr 17, 2016

Welcome, Bob’s Burgers fans, to this weekly post, where a member of the Belcher family or supporting character (looking at you, Teddy and Jimmy Jr.) is crowned the Extra-Rare Performer of the Week. We hardcore fans of the animated sitcom know there is always one breakout performer in every Bob’s Burgers episode, so yeah, we should celebrate that standout character!

I promise that it won’t be Tina Belcher each week—but I mean, she is kind everyone’s spirit animal.

To briefly summarize what went down in this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, “The Hormone-iums”:

Tina is a member of the choir group called the Hormone-iums, who sing songs about puberty. She is currently preparing to perform a song about body hair at lunch. Tina admits to her family at breakfast that she is having some mixed feelings about belonging to the Hormone-iums, because it has been two years and Mr. Frond has yet to give Tina a solo. But Tina finally gets her big break when Angela passes out during the lunch performance. It would seem that Angela has mono, and by process of elimination, Tina is the new soloist until Angela is back on her feet. Sure, we all hope Angela gets better, but now Frond has convinced the principal to allow the Hormone-iums put on a very informative play about the dangers of mono. Yes, our beloved Tina Belcher will be center stage, playing Mono Mona!

Meanwhile, back at Bob’s Burgers, Linda is conducting the monthly auction of items in the restaurant’s lost-and-found box. Teddy, Mort, and Gretchen gather around to see what the box has to offer. Linda can literally sell anything. She once got Teddy to spend a dime to get a left-behind nickel. Linda may have met her match when it comes time to auction off Marshmallow’s left-behind size-14 very high heel. No one is biting, but when Linda turns the heel into a “wine shoe” (simply place a wine bottle into the shoe), Teddy, Mort, and Gretchen go nuts! Gretchen wins the wine shoe for 20 bucks. The following day, Gretchen shows up at the restaurant, informing Linda that the ladies at the salon went crazy for the wine shoe, and now they all want one! To keep the wine-shoe flow going, Linda needs to more size-14 high heels!

The Hormone-iums are rehearsing for Friday’s performance. Frond’s mono material seems to be a wee bit dramatic, with the play concluding with Mono Mona dying because kissing causes death. Mono Mona could not come at a worse time for Tina, because kissing is literally on ALL the Wagstaff students’ minds, since there will be Spin the Bottle at Jocelyn’s birthday party. Tina wants so badly to be a soloist … but at what cost?

Linda, Bob, Gene, and Louise come shopping for some extremely large high heels, but soon they learn that shoes are freaking expensive! A defeated Linda starts to believe that her dreams will never come true. Louise then has a brilliant idea: Wine shoes needs investors! Cue the ridiculously rich and idiotic Fischoeder brothers. The Belchers, minus Tina, prepare to pitch wine shoes to the Fischoeder brothers, when Bob comes up with a Cinderella spin. Who need a prince when you can have wine in a shoe?

In full costumes, the Belchers give it all they’ve got … but the Fischoeder brothers are not buying. Unfortunately, Linda can’t sell anything. But thanks to the Internet, Linda learns that Booze Shoes exists, so at least we know that Linda’s ideas make other people a lot of money.

Back at school, Wagstaff School News does a special piece about Mono Mona, and announces that Tina is pretty much the poster child for no kissing! This leads to Jocelyn uninviting Tina to her birthday party. There can’t be a kissing narc at a kissing party. How can Tina’s dream also be her nightmare? Back at home, Tina is completely heartbroken. But after a comforting and awkward chat with Bob—who reassures Tina that she is in charge of her own mouth and that even tan boys will want to kiss her at some point—Tina knows what she has to do.

It is time for Tina to take center stage. She informs her fellow Hormone-iums that she has made some changes to the script. During Mono Mona’s death scene, Tina announces that Mono Mona survives because you can’t really die from mono—unless you are old. Misinformation is the real danger here. Frond takes away Tina’s soloist position, but that doesn’t matter—because thanks to Tina’s rewrites, she gets reinvited to Jocelyn’s party.

Spin the Bottle has a new champion—Tina Belcher!

And now, the Extra-Rare Performer of the Week is: Mono Mona Tina

Fox

I would just like to take a moment to state that I am very proud of myself. In 14 episodes, this only the second time that Tina Belcher has won the title of Extra-Rare Performer of the Week. Go, me!

Anywho, back to Tina! This was truly a challenging situation for Tina. Since she overcame her stage fright, Tina has been craving the spotlight … but is it really worth giving up something she has truly longed for, aka playing Spin the Bottle? Sure, it would seem that the students at Wagstaff might not truly understand the idea of acting. Tina is not Mono Mona, but her peers were seeing her as such.

But it seems that Tina’s mission to properly educate her peers does not come from a selfish place. Everyone should get the right information, especially when it comes to mono. The beautiful thing about Tina Belcher is that she is always looking to accomplish the greater good and remain true to herself. Tina is such an awesome role model; how is she not the Extra-Rare Performer every week?

Spin that bottle, Tina! We all hope it ended up on Jimmy Jr. and not Zeke (although I am secretly shipping Tina and Zeke, and I know I’m not the only one!).

Until next time, stay fresh, Bob’s Burgers fans.

Bob’s Burgers airs Sundays at 8:30|7:30C on Fox.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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