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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: On the run

Season 6 | Episodes 19 | “Malama Ka Po’e” | Aired Apr 8, 2016

Our latest episode of Hawaii Five-0 is Grover-centric, with only minor (or zero) appearances from the rest of the team. But if there’s one thing that Lou episodes have taught me, is that Chi McBride crushes the dramatic stuff every time.

Steve and Lou are enjoying some early morning pancakes and making fun of poor Danny, who is in Las Vegas chaperoning Grace’s cheer trip. Steve offers to pay, and I immediately assume he’s been lobotomized, but it turns out Lou owes him money anyway. Whew, it is Steve after all!

Hawaii Five-0, "Malama Ka Po'e"

But while Steve is taking care of the bill, Grover gets a text. He immediately gets into a heated argument with a man outside, and then takes off. Steve is obviously worried, and he can’t get ahold of Lou or his wife, Renee. So Steve and Chin head over to the Grover house to check things out.

But when they arrive, the door is open. The house is empty, and there are signs that the family grabbed go-bags from under their beds. And the fact that the family phones are in the microwave suggests that the Grovers are off the grid (and desperately in need of phone upgrades). But why?

The last text on Lou’s phone is from FBI Agent Frank Zagar (Mark Valley), the man that Steve saw Lou arguing with at the diner. Five-0 gets in touch with the FBI, and they explain that Zagar is working on Lou’s relocation. He was undercover with the Philadelphia Black Mafia 25 years ago, and now he’s been compromised. (Apparently Will Smith wasn’t messing around about Philly in the Fresh Prince theme song.)

The son of one of the Mafia’s leaders, Aaron Barnes Jr., recently got out of prison and is looking for revenge. He tracked Lou down with some help from Lou’s old friend, Clay, whom he sent to prison. Had to know that wouldn’t end well, Lou.

Elsewhere, Lou and Zagar are headed to an out-of-the-way airport for a flight to Utah. The kids are freaking out; they want to come back to Hawaii, but that’s not typically how witness protection works if my years of watching In Plain Sight have taught me anything. But Renee gives Sam and Will a pep talk. They have to stick together; they’re a family.

But their escape plan hits a snag when Grover’s car is pulled over by HPD. Five-0 has an alert out for him, but Lou can’t be too careful. Zagar handles the cop while Lou races off to the extraction point.

Hawaii Five-0, "Malama Ka Po'e"

The Grovers head by boat to their next location, where Zagar introduces them to a couple agents from the Honolulu field office, and they all head to the airstrip. But Lou peels off in another direction instead. The “agents” don’t have any Hawaii tan lines—they’re not FBI, and that means Zagar betrayed them.

Five-0 figures this out, too, when they find the real Honolulu agents dead in a landfill. And after tracking a decoy plane, they finally figure out where and when Barnes will be landing in Hawaii.

Lou and Zagar race through the jungle. After playing bumper cars for a while, Lou finally steers Zagar’s car into a tree and makes a break for it. But Lou hits a fallen tree deep in the jungle. The car is out of commission; they have to escape on foot. But Zagar and his men aren’t far behind.

Meanwhile, Steve and Kono commandeer a helicopter and go looking for Barnes. They find him at an old sugar mill and quickly begin a shootout. Kono and Steve (a fun partnership I want more of) take out Barnes and his men. Now they have to find Lou.

In the jungle, Lou realizes there’s no way they can outrun Zagar on foot. He gives Renee his extra gun and tells her and the kids to stay put. He’s going to end this.

Hawaii Five-0, "Malama Ka Po'e"

Lou has his own shootout, but quickly runs out of ammo. He uses a pocket knife and the bad guy’s gun to take down Zagar. But (surprisingly) he doesn’t kill him. Zagar is going to rot in prison.

A car pulls up while the Grovers and the captured Zagar are exiting the jungle, but it’s not Zagar’s men: It’s Lou’s. Steve and Kono roll up just in time. Lou and his family are safe.

Three important (but unrelated) things I learned this episode:

  • Steve knows Danny’s preferred pancake toppings by heart.
  • Steve creeps on Gracie’s Instagram to find photos of Danny.
  • Grace has Uncle Steve blocked on Instagram.

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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