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'The Fosters' fan recap: I am woman, hear me roar

Season 3 | Episode 18 | “Rehearsal” | Aired Mar 14, 2016

A lot happened this week on The Fosters, and I’d like to discuss it, but I just watched the preview for next week’s episode and now I can’t think about anything other than IS STEF GOING TO GET SHOT IN THE HEAD??

Okay, sorry. Let’s rewind. This week, Stef is not in harm’s way as she continues to navigate the post-surgery road. She is struggling with the idea of more surgery, which she’ll need if she wants to get implants. Lena points out that she doesn’t need breasts, and that it’s completely fine if she opts not to get them. Lena also recognizes that she doesn’t know a whole lot about the topic and suggests that Stef talk to other women who have been through double mastectomies. Stef and Lena invite two women to their home: one who chose to get implants and one who preferred to “go flat.” Stef listens to each woman share how she came to her decision. Though they made different choices, each woman is happy with the outcome. The women make it clear that there is no wrong option; it’s all a matter of what is most comfortable to Stef.

What Stef is really trying to figure out is how to feel most like herself. Ultimately, she decides that she wants to get the implants, not because she thinks she won’t be herself without them, but because she realizes she likes having breasts. She also decides to cut her hair short—something she’s always wanted, but has been too afraid to do because of her own fear of appearing butch. Stef owns her internalized homophobia and acknowledges how freeing and sexy facing her fear has been. The confidence and sexiness she is feeling is not lost on Lena, who is incredibly turned on—not only by Stef’s new look, but also by the attitude that’s come with it.

The Fosters continually reminds us how deeply and completely these two women love each other. Lena has been incredibly supportive of Stef through this entire ordeal, even as Stef has pushed her away. Seeing Stef finally feel confident enough to be with Lena again was an incredible payoff to what has been a long and challenging road.

Stef was also wonderful this week in her role of mother. At Mariana’s request, she brought Gabe the letters of support that were written by Ana and her parents, as well as by Jesus and Mariana. The show does address the fact that Ana’s family wrote the letters even after her relapse last week. They acknowledge that even if Gabe was involved in Ana’s mistake, that doesn’t mean he should be labeled as a sex offender. However, it’s unclear what the point of Ana’s relapse was if there was going to be no follow up to it, other than to say she’s going to meetings twice a day. Will we ever find out exactly what happened? Gabe seems like a decent guy. Is there information we don’t have yet that might make him seem less decent?

Stef asks Gabe if he wants a relationship with Jesus and Mariana. He tells her that he has no idea how to be a parent, to which Stef brilliantly reminds him that they already have parents. Gabe clarifies that he just doesn’t feel like he has anything to offer. Stef can think of one thing he has to offer. She brings him to the warehouse where rehearsals are happening for R & J, and explains that with her supervision, he can help with the construction of the sets.

Unfortunately, Gabe returns to work at the warehouse in the evening, after the kids are gone, and accidentally trips a silent alarm. This wouldn’t be such a big deal had Mariana not come back to grab her script. When the cops arrive and check their IDs, they discover Gabe is on the registry and arrest him for being alone with Mariana.

Will Stef be able to explain what happened with minimal consequences, or is Gabe going to be in big trouble?

Fost and Found

  • Mat’s new girlfriend tells Nick that Mariana cheated on Mat. Nick tells Mariana that he doesn’t like surprises, and that if she’s ever not feeling it with him anymore, she should just tell him, because he’d rather be hurt than surprised. Mariana agrees, but also tells him he has nothing to worry about. Which is clear foreshadowing that pretty soon, she’s not going to be feeling it anymore.
  • Which reminds me: Did you see that kiss between Mat and Mariana?! Things are happening, people.
  • Brandon tries to make Mariana feel better about her mistake with Wyatt by confiding in her that he once slept with someone he regrets sleeping with, too. Callie overhears and assumes it’s her.
  • Callie deduces that Cortney has a kid and confronts Brandon about it. She admits to overhearing his conversation, leading him to tell her about Dani, whom he was actually talking about. The Fosters again reminds its viewers that rape is never the fault of the victim, even when the victim is male. Callie assures Brandon he did nothing wrong. She also says that being raped made her feel ashamed for so long, and that being with him was the first time she ever felt she could be with someone with no shame. These two are nowhere near figuring out how to be siblings.
  • Justina continues to be Shady McShaderson. First she can’t get Daphne a job; then, as soon as Callie starts acting as though she may want to end their partnership, suddenly she can get Daphne a job. It feels like Callie just sold her soul to the devil.
  • Next week is the performance of R & J. The preview suggests there’s a lot of other stuff going on (Brandon and Callie might tell moms what they did??), but most important, DOES STEF GET SHOT ON THE JOB? I am not going to sleep for a week.

The Fosters airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on Freeform.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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