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'Shadowhunters' roundtable: Downworlders unite!

Season 1 | Episode 9 | “Rise Up” | Aired Mar 8, 2016

Each week, EW Community Contributors Terri Clark and Zakiya Jamal, both passionate fans of Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series, will discuss the newest episode of Shadowhunters.

SPOILER ALERT: There are minimal spoilers from the books. Read at your own risk. If you have NOT read the books, what are you waiting for? Nothing, and we mean NOTHING, beats them!

Zakiya: It’s so beautiful that Lady Midnight came out on Shadowhunters day.

Terri: Get this! I’m meeting Cassandra on Saturday at an event in Boulder, CO. I’ll soon have a signed copy of Lady Midnight in my hot little hands.

Zakiya: I honestly hate you so much right now. I don’t even know when I’ll finally get a copy.

Zakiya: Aww, Clary and Jace refer to themselves as an “us” now. That’s cute.

Terri: Didn’t take them long, though I still contend that the movie was far more passionate. Did you get around to watching it yet?

Zakiya: Unfortunately, no. I’ll probably wait until after the season finale and then watch it.

Clary And Jace Kiss

Zakiya: I have a love/hate relationship with Lydia Branwell. She’s such a BAMF, but I also want her to leave.

Terri: She definitely falls in the love/hate realm of things. Kudos to Stephanie Bennett for creating a “villain” that’s actually likable. It’s not easy to walk that fine line.

Zakiya: Oh no, Simon! Please don’t eat your mom!

Terri: Ha! There’s a line you don’t say to someone every day.

Zakiya: Simon’s mom needs to just let Clary save her life right now. Trust her.

Terri: She just got her baby back! The baby she thought might be dead. I’d be hard-pressed to let him go, too.

Zakiya: I guess that’s fair. I’m just really concerned about Simon’s mom’s safety.

Zakiya: I’m loving this angry/bad-boy Alec. He’s taking charge and doing what he wants. Yes, Alec!

Terri: Except that means denying his attraction to Magnus. How dare you, Zakiya!

Zakiya: Okay, that part’s not great, but Alec in charge is hot as hell. You can’t deny that.

Zakiya: “Jace Wayland is Switzerland.” Jace, you’re not even a Wayland. How can I take you seriously?

Terri: But he is a Wayland! Family is more than just blood. Thank God, too.

Zakiya: Okay, but Jace wasn’t raised by the Waylands, he’s raised by the Lightwoods. In that case, he should call himself a Lightwood.

Zakiya: Alberto is doing an excellent job this week. I’m loving vampire Simon.

Terri: Right?! I have a bit of a crush on him. I love seeing his eyes without his glasses. When he turns around and gives Clary that grin … so cute!

Zakiya: Adorable! Also, Alec telling Malec he’s getting married is hurtful. Magnus looks so heartbroken.

Terri: Not to mention skeptical.

Zakiya: Lydia has such a sad backstory … I still don’t like her though.

Terri: It’s a very tragic story, and it’s obvious how it drives her. As for Alec, he’s making me crazy. He says family is everything and then basically screws them six ways to Sunday.

Zakiya: Facts! His logic is all kinds of screwed up.

Zakiya: Clary, if you allowed Simon to be a vampire just so you could both be different, you’re the worst. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Terri: It’s selfish, but makes a certain kind of warped sense. Plus, I just don’t think I could ever bring myself to stake my best friend.

Zakiya: Simon’s stepping up and I’m so here for it.

Terri: Pretty soon he will be a force to be reckoned with like the rest of his paranormal posse.

Zakiya: This show has been seriously lacking Sizzy. All the other ships have sailed but them. It’s time!

Terri: When I saw Emeraude Toubia (Izzy) and David Castro (Raphael) in the same frame I couldn’t help think what beautiful babies they’d make. I also wondered if there are any Raphael and Simon ships sailing? Would they be Saphael? Rimon?

Zakiya: Oh yes. The “Saphael” shippers are definitely out there. I’ve seen so many memes about them. This was by far the best episode for them.

Zakiya: Alec telling Jace he won’t go with him legit broke my heart. Their bromance can’t be over. They’re parabatai!

Terri: Yeah, Dominic brought it in that scene. Great show of emotion. I felt how crushed he was. But I totally laughed right beforehand. Re-watch the scene, and you’ll see his hair going flip-flop crazy during the fight scene. Yet when he stands, there isn’t a single strand outta place. As if!

Zakiya: This episode as a whole was interesting. I’m still trying very hard not to compare it to the books, but it was hard this episode, especially because they went so far off-book. Not sure how I’m feeling about all these changes.

Terri: It was very off-book. I don’t like the direction they’re suddenly taking Alec in. It’s one thing to shred the Malec sail for a bit, but they also killed his bromance with Jace, betrothed him to the enemy, and had him cut off his family. Like WTH? I half expect to find out he’s possessed or something. Final thoughts on this episode: I like how Clary took charge of the alliances and even stepped between a growling wolf and sneering vamp; I really wanted Magnus to lay a big ole “think about this” kiss on Alec when he learned of his sudden engagement; and speaking of kisses, at some point Simon better yank Clary close and lock lips … I need just one for comparison to Jace. Lastly, I’m dying to know if they’re going to play the scandal card—if you’ve read the books, you know what I mean—between Jace and Clary, or if they’ll steer clear. Any bets?

Zakiya: They’d be crazy not to include it. That’s a big storyline, and it sets a lot of things in motion. They’d have to change a lot if they took that out. I hope they keep it in even though it’s weird.

Shadowhunters airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Freeform (formerly ABC Family).

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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