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'General Hospital' fan recap: Marriage, mob, mayhem, and medics

Season 53 | Episodes 226–230 | Aired Feb 22–26, 2016

Weddings on General Hospital rarely run smoothly. There’s a long history of kidnapping, gunshots, undead spouses, and the list goes on. Naturally, the wedding of Julian Jerome and Alexis Davis had myriad mayhem surrounding it, but there is one thing that sets it apart from many other Port Charles nuptials. The betrothed couple actually said “I do” and was pronounced husband and wife.

So before we discuss everything else that took place, let’s raise our glasses and toast the newlyweds, or “Julexis,” as they are most commonly known around the web. Neither couple entered the marriage under duress or with a huge secret. After a reasonable courtship length, the pair entered into marriage with their eyes and hearts wide open.

The ceremony was intimate, with only a handful of friends and family in attendance. (Seriously, no Diane?) Between a passion-filled flashback montage and heartfelt vows, it was the wedding the fans had clamored and waited for. Of course, the reception is most likely canceled.

While Alexis and Julian are having their magical moment, all hell is breaking loose across town at Pier 54 (no relation to Studio 54). For all of Paul’s careful planning (read: none), having an arms deal go down at dusk at unsecured location was obviously not the brightest of moves. Starting with Lulu, who innocently wanders into her place of business and ends up going for a swim in the frigid waters surrounding the Haunted Star. Raj, gun in hand, doesn’t shoot her, but rather throws her in the water after removing the handcuffs. Her unrestricted arms allow her to flail about for the eternity it takes Dante to roam the boat and hear the splashing. As Lulu’s life flashes before her eyes, Dante dives in and pulls her to safety, performing CPR to bring his estranged wife back to life. At the hospital, Dante is ready to put his marriage back together, but Lulu turns down his offer to move back to the loft of depravity … for now.

On the pier itself, Paul is nearly busted talking to Anna on the phone, but assures Dixon he was simply keeping the police occupied elsewhere. As the gun deal begins, a worried Kiki calls a barely hidden Morgan, and his vibrating phone alerts the criminals to his presence. Morgan, as manic and unhinged as ever, pulls out his gun and shakily asserts himself as the Corinthos heir apparent. He’s more or less laughed at, despite his rambling statements about being able to prove himself. Dixon manages to disarm Morgan and prepares to eliminate his babbling nuisance. Unfortunately, Kiki, after warning Michael that Morgan was on the pier, opts to rush in and ends up taking a bullet meant for Morgan.

Carly and Michael have spent their day being vague with Anna, who just wanted to know where Sonny was. After Kiki’s call, they rush to the pier where, in the melee surrounding the shooting, Dixon manages to escape. Carly performs CPR on Kiki and tries to stem the bleeding until paramedics arrive. As the ATF arrives to take over, with Jordan in tow, a frazzled Morgan is also taken into custody. Andre arrives at the PCPD and gets his hypomanic patient transferred to the hospital, under his supervision.

Dixon, having promised Ava he’d come for her if anything went wrong, makes his way to the church. Bursting in just after Julian and Alexis are pronounced, he runs through the Hostage 101 handbook. First he makes every person introduce themselves; next, he collects cell phones (in the collection plate); then he monologues about his many crimes; then he moves on to focusing on Sonny. Nathan makes a move to jump Dixon, and once again gets shot in the upper chest. Maxie tends to Nathan, and Dixon decides that if he is going to make a getaway, he needs a hostage. He opts for Sonny’s daughter, unsure which of the three bridesmaids fits the bill. Eventually, as he tries to drag Kristina from the church, Sonny leaps from his wheelchair to take the unsuspecting Dixon down. Just then, police arrive, with Carly in tow. Carly, stunned by Sonny’s mobility, gains her composure enough to tell Ava that Kiki has been shot.

The rest of the action plays out at the hospital, shockingly enough for a show called General Hospital. Nathan is going to be fine, and is coherent enough to turn down Maxie’s impetuous bedside marriage proposal. Then he’s groggy enough to declare his love for “Claudette” as he drifts off to sleep, shocking Maxie.

Kiki spends her time in surgery, removing the bullet near her spine, and Griffin offers to Ava that it’s too soon to know the full outcome. Ava waffles between despair and outrage. Despair comes in the form of blaming herself, and the outrage comes as blaming everyone else within shouting distance. Paul does one solid for Ava, procuring her an immunity deal so Jordan can’t arrest her for the Jerome Gallery involvement in the gun running. It’s only fair, considering Ava was only in this mess due to Paul’s blackmail. As Kiki lies in recovery, Ava curls up next to her daughter, singing a tearful “Sleep My Child.”

Morgan isn’t at all happy to find himself in restraints, and convinces the world’s worst nurse to free him for a bathroom break. After listening in on Kiki’s medical prognosis, Morgan makes his way to the rooftop (which surely should be locked after the Heather/baby incident), and is urged by a vision of Kiki to fling himself to his death. Michael, Andre, and eventually Sonny arrive on the scene and talk him down, with Sonny’s offer of himself as proof that the dark hole is not permanent being the most effective motivation.

At the same time, Sonny may have found himself in another place as well: the doghouse. Carly, flabbergasted by Sonny’s wheelchair deception, has begun making impassioned speeches about the danger Sonny’s business brings upon their loved ones. It’s all well and good, but having Kiki’s literal blood on her hands as the thought-provoking moment rings a bit false. After all, both Carly and Michael have previously been shot due to Sonny’s business dealings, so why now? Is it just to cause a ripple in the Corinthos marriage?

Over at the Shriners Hospital for Children in Philadelphia (always the full name), Elizabeth has moments of peace with both Monica and Jason, discussing the secret she kept for so many months. Monica accepts Elizabeth’s heartfelt apology. Elizabeth tells Jason that she never should have tried to build love based on a lie, and Jason is ready to be done with the past. Elizabeth, for her part, wants to be someone Jason can trust, and wants to trust herself again. Jason smiles softly to himself as Sam checks in via text, saying she misses him.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component 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