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'General Hospital' fan recap: Filling in the blanks

Season 53 | Episodes 221–225 | Aired Feb 15–19, 2016

Things get very confusing on General Hospital this week, especially where one District Attorney Paul Hornsby is concerned. Viewers were seemingly given several key pieces of information that tie into a very complex puzzle. Or do they?

What is known from actually seeing it onscreen is that Paul blackmailed Ava into taking control of the Jerome organization (via the Connie-murder recording). Paul quickly shot Sloane after Sloane implicated Anna in Carlos’s phony murder. Paul is involved in running guns through Ava’s gallery. Paul shot Sonny.

But this week, we learn that Sloane wasn’t killed for being a nuisance; Paul shot and killed Sloane for having previously been an abusive and violent boyfriend with his daughter, Susan. Carlos witnessed the shooting, which is why Paul helped him go on the run. And Paul isn’t running the guns for profit; he’s a one-man crime-stopping machine working a sting.

Sure, those things could turn the character around and redeem him via Port Charles’ “It’s okay you killed someone” standards. How was shooting Sonny and forcing Ava back into the mob part of his plan? If Carlos witnessed Sloane’s murder, why does Carlos seem to be taking orders from Paul instead of blackmailing him? If he is working with the Justice Department, why does he seemingly have no backup in place? While his new version of events can possibly be shoehorned in as plausible, it’s definitely coming across as a case of new-head-writer-itis.

Even more comical, as Anna seems to instantly realize, is the concept that Sonny is considered a non-threat because of his wheelchair. As a crime boss, Sonny has always had a gaggle of nameless henchman available. But both Sonny and Raj think his physical state, or the mirage of it, lessens his ability to handle the encroachment on his territory. Unless it’s his son acting as an undercover informant, how often does Sonny usually pull the trigger himself?

Of course, the biggest problem to all parties right now is a wildly unhinged Morgan. After going off his meds due to an encounter with impotence, Morgan is busted by Kiki while attempting to hook up with Darby in the coffee warehouse. In truly cringe-worthy fashion, Morgan tries to rationalize that it was for Kiki’s benefit, to make sure he could … perform. Kiki is having none of it, and once again breaks things off. Courtesy of security cameras, Sonny also busts Morgan for the indiscretion. Morgan is fully off the rails, so Sonny fires him. While Carly frets, Sonny goes for the tough love, refusing to employ or house his son until he gets help. A hypomanic Morgan uses the mess as an excuse to show up at the docks, gun in hand, and “prove” himself as an asset to handling the drug runners. This will surely end well (insert eye roll).

Jason and Sam’s kissy couch time, complete with Jason acknowledging they are connected, is interrupted by a call from Elizabeth about Jake’s medical care. Jason and Elizabeth are informed by Monica that Jake will best be treated by Shriners Hospital for Children in Philadelphia. In case you missed that, it was Shriners Hospital for Children in Philadelphia. Now repeat it 10 more times. Okay, we’re all good. After strangely needing prompting from Carly, Jason remembers to say goodbye to Sam with another kiss before he and Elizabeth head off with Jake to the aforementioned medical facility.

Hayden hires Diane for her nefarious needs, comically insuring confidentiality at every juncture. Nikolas, after shocking Elizabeth with his marriage news, attempts to hire Sam to do some investigative work into Hayden’s background and the “Rachael” thing. Sam initially balks, telling her cousin to go to hell, but Nikolas plays the Spencer card to gain her assistance. Sam’s first course of action is to reach out to Corbin as a prospective investor. High-stakes chicanery at work!

Lulu and Dante use their time as hotel captives to have some frank discussions, with Lulu acknowledging that their problems stem back further than her Canada lie and his subsequent infidelity. The twosome seem open to more conversation, but when Lulu opts to move to the Haunted Star to give Maxie and Nathan privacy, things take a decided step backwards. Dante insists it’s not safe, due to his police knowledge about the gun dealers, but Lulu stubbornly refuses to listen … for about five minutes. After renting out the Star to Raj for a private “event,” Lulu decides to move to Wyndemere. Returning to the boat for some belongings, Lulu ends up cuffed to a banister, with duct tape on her mouth.

Was there anyone clamoring for the return of Olivia’s psychic visions? After playing a joke on Julian and Alexis the night before their wedding, Olivia has a real premonition of Julian with literal blood on his hands. Given that Ava has told Dixon and Raj that she’ll be at the wedding while the gun deal goes down, it’s not difficult to see that Olivia’s premonition will be coming to fruition. In the meantime, Julian and Alexis are all set for their big day, ecstatic that a teenage tryst evolved into family and true love.

But before anything can go wrong at the wedding, there’s some family bonding time for the Davis girls and Jerome family prior to heading to the church. During the tender Davis girls’ moment, Kristina realizes Molly and TJ had sex, so she insufferably announces it to all gathered. This doesn’t lead to a well-deserved sisterly slap, but Alexis to burst into tears that Molly isn’t her baby anymore. Molly assures all present that they were safe, and insinuates that Kristina is next to reveal something. But Kristina avoids the topic, and it’s time for all to head off to the chapel of imminent doom.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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