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'General Hospital' fan recap: Run to me

Season 53 | Episodes 211–215 | Aired Feb 1–5, 2016

If anyone ever wondered why General Hospital‘s Elizabeth always chooses to have Gram babysit, the question has now been answered tenfold. Has there ever been a more incompetent babysitter than Madison? Beyond the hour she spent washing Silly String out of her hair, she broke the cardinal rule of ALWAYS searching the house when you can’t find the child. Granted, Jake was busy running into traffic, but Sam’s situation would’ve been resolved a lot faster.

Jason and Elizabeth return from meeting with a child therapist to find Jake has disappeared and left an “I’m sorry” note behind. Jason and Madison venture outside to search, leaving Elizabeth to wait in case Jake returns. In all fairness to Elizabeth, she doesn’t have time to look around before Jake is once again struck by a car. Unlike last time, there’s no organ-donation conversation, as Jake is not declared dead. Instead, there’s some internal bleeding and broken bones, and Elizabeth telling Monica that Jake’s pain is her punishment for lying about Jason for so long. When Sonny and Carly show up to check on Jake (after Lucas breaks HIPAA rules by telling them his condition), Carly even puts aside her Elizabeth-hating ways to be a source of comfort to the distraught mother.

Back at Elizabeth’s house, Sam finally stirs and quickly realizes she has a concussion. Judging by her inability to pull herself upright or drag herself up the stairs, there are clearly some sprains or broken ribs at play as well. Unable to do more than pull herself across the floor, and with a broken phone, Sam pulls some laundry off the machine and wraps herself in a hoodie to keep warm. Still cold, most likely from shock, Sam finds a space heater to plug in to keep her warm. But between her confusion and lack of consciousness, Sam doesn’t notice the outlet smoking and sparking. As she lies on the floor, Sam hears, then sees, Jason calling out for her to “run to him.” Of course, the last time he said that was to demonstrate where a bullet could have entered her spine, but this time, it’s Sam dreaming of getting up and walking across the basement floor.

As Sam lies unconscious on the floor, overcome with smoke, her lack of appearance is finally noticed. First Alice tells Jason that Sam failed to pick up Danny from a birthday party; then Kristina lets him know that the last time she saw Sam was headed to Elizabeth’s house. Jason hears the smoke detector sounding, so hopefully Sam’s time on the basement floor will be drawing to a close.

One thing General Hospital needs to decide is what to do with the character of Nina. Yes, she’s a bit of an arrested-development case, having spent 20 years in a coma. But she wasn’t a child when she went into the coma, so why does she so often revert to such simplistic thoughts? Nina, once again, has baby fever. Last time, she kidnapped a child whom she deluded herself into believing was her own. And what will she end up doing this time, as Franco is right that no adoption agency would ever give either of them a child? Remember when Lulu blew it with adoption agencies because she lied about her family background? Between Franco and Nina, we have tumor-induced murders, kidnapping, and recent stays in mental hospitals. Going down the baby-fever path again is not the right direction for her character.

Of course, no sooner is Morgan slightly emotionally stabilized on his meds than he decides to dump the lot of them in a trash can. Why? Because 30 seconds after reconciling with Kiki (again), he is unable to sexually perform. Rather than talk to his bipolar father or a medical professional, Morgan decides mood swings are better than impotence. And he wonders why everyone hovers and checks in on him so often.

Also in the rash-decision camp are Dante and Lulu. In the course of one hour, Dante and Lulu go from reconciling to signing divorce papers. Lulu surprises Dante in their apartment and the two share beers, chat a little about their issues, and fall into bed. But that’s where Lulu puts the brakes on things, because she can’t let go of his cheating. So rather than buy a new bed or try counseling, the twosome put ink to paper and call it a day on their marriage. It’s fascinating to wonder what would happen if they ever invested real time in communication. Lulu even opts to apologize to Valerie for the whole “almost having her killed” thing, but Valerie isn’t willing to accept her cousin’s apology. Because while Valerie may have slept with Dante (twice), Lulu kept pointing fingers and crossed the line. Whatever, Valerie. It seems as though Valerie is moving on to Curtis, so there are two characters where nobody really cares.

But in the impetuous-decision camp, right now Prince Nikolas Mikhail Stavrosovich Cassadine is taking the proverbial cake. In Las Vegas, at the Camelot Chapel, Nikolas and Hayden become the 45,678th couple to exchange wedding vows. Hayden signs a prenuptial agreement, but since her name is actually Rachel, it’s safe to assume that the wedding itself is already invalid. Hayden has a close call with someone who recognizes her, but she brushes it off to Nikolas as mistaken identity. Tracy learns of the marriage from Laura and is giddy to think her ELQ plan is working. Meanwhile, Laura is peeved that her son is marrying a backstabbing con artist (that he previously shot in the head).

Sonny unknowingly meets the new neurosurgeon in town, Dr. Griffin Monroe (played by Matt Cohen), in the hospital chapel. All we know so far is that he carries a Saint Aloysius medal, and Lucas is a fan.

Someone we learn more about is Professor Parker, Kristina’s teacher who turned her in for offering sex for grades. Parker is married, but determined to keep her wife from learning about Kristina’s accusations. And that’s where it gets a little murky. Was Parker legitimately flirting with Kristina, or was Kristina imagining signals that weren’t actually there? Parker claims no such interactions took place, but as Molly reads from Kristina’s diary (while assuming Parker is male), it’s clear that Kristina is definitely attracted to the professor and views it as mutual. But whether Kristina identifies as a lesbian, bisexual, or just has a fleeting crush remains to be seen. Regardless, if the story is played out with sensitivity and intelligence, it could be captivating to watch. But if it gets the same screen time as Lucas, Brad, and Rosalie’s secret, it will be forgotten before it begins.

Sonny continues to keep his penchant for standing on a secret, while gathering information on Ava and the guns are being brought into town. Ava gains no favor by putting her desire to stick it to Sonny ahead of her daughter’s safety, as she finds herself still stuck in Paul’s web. Even Scott thinks she’s making an unwise move. Then again, Scott fails to point out that a recording that comes and goes like the wind would most certainly not hold up in a court of law.

Finally, it was great to see Mac and Felicia show up in Halifax to bail Robert and Anna out of jail after Paul (and his long, long arm of the law) managed to have them arrested in Carlos and Sabrina’s motel room. Who knows how long Robert is sticking around (forever, please!), but his and Anna’s natural charm is always a delight for viewers!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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