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'Shadowhunters' roundtable: All the legends are true

Each week, EW Community Contributors Zakiya Jamal and Terri Clark, both passionate fans of Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series, will discuss the newest episode of Shadowhunters. This week they react to the series premiere, “The Mortal Cup.” SPOILER ALERT: There are minimal spoilers from the books. Read at your own risk.

Zakiya: No matter how many times I watched this first scene in the teasers, I still can’t fully understand why Izzy had to wear that platinum blond wig. Is it a disguise? If so, why aren’t Jace and Alec disguised?

Terri: Totally didn’t make sense. If it was a disguise, why did she take it off when she did her stripper routine? The whole thing was weird.

Also, did Izzy’s and outfit remind anyone of this:


Zakiya: Ha! No but now I’ll be thinking about this. I think this version of Maureen is better than in the books. I’ll accept this change.

Terri: Yeah, seems like they wanted to throw in a girl bestie for Clary. Makes good sense for the series.

Zakiya: Clary trying to explain to Simon that Maureen has a secret crush on him is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen. Clary, how can you see how Maureen feels about Simon … but you’re in complete denial about how he feels about you? Explain!

Terri: My thoughts exactly. And I really like Alberto Rosende as Simon. He’s quirky, he has great facial expressions, and he nailed the comedic delivery on his lines. Simon was always one of my favorite characters, so I really wanted them to get him right. So far, so good.

Zakiya: Agreed! He’s the perfect Simon. He’s adorkable, but in the best way. … I knew there would be changes in the show, but I will not accept Luke being a detective. Didn’t he run a bookstore or something? We don’t need any more cop shows, Freeform!

Terri: I hollered the same thing at my TV. “Detective!?!” The whole opening made me worry that Shadowhunters is going to be a supernatural procedural. Say it ain’t so.

Zakiya: I’m sorry, but what in the world does that mean?

Terri: A procedural is a cop show where they have to solve a different crime every week. This week was bodies being drained by the supernatural element of vampires.

Zakiya: Ahhhh, okay. Got it. … Did Luke just tell that dog to chill with his eyes?

Terri: “I’m the Alpha, and don’t you forget it!”

Zakiya: Side note: Every time Luke speaks, all I can think about is the Old Spice commercials. #SorryNotSorry

Terri: Is it bad that I didn’t immediately recognize Isaiah Mustafa with his clothes on? His voice clued me in to Luke being the Old Spice guy. It’s going to take me a while to quit imagining him in a towel.

Zakiya: But why you would ever want to stop imagining that? ūüėČ Okay, I get that the show is going to be different from the books, but this is a little too much. Jocelyn just gave Clary a steele!

Terri: I freaked! There was so much wrong with that whole scene. It took Jocelyn forever to reveal the truth in the books, and she’s trying to blurt it out first thing.

Zakiya: Exactly! Although I will say that Jocelyn telling Clary the truth makes her a much better parent than the Jocelyn in the book. … Why is Maureen the only one here asking the real questions? Clary, how does the fact that you have no family not concern you?

Terri: Especially on your birthday, when they could give you more birthday presents. Poor girl got screwed for her 18th.

Zakiya: Ahhh, so demons like blondes. That explains the wig.

Terri: Ha! If only that were true. In real life, Paris Hilton wouldn’t stand a chance.

Zakiya: Maureen is looking at Simon and Simon is looking at Clary. Can someone say “love triangle”?

Terri: Loved that moment.

Zakiya: Simon’s face while Clary talks to Jace is hilarious. I already know it’s going to be a meme.

Zakiya: Clary trying to save that demon from Jace physically pains me. Clary, don’t get in the middle of things you can barely understand.

Terri: But nice slide on your butt!

Zakiya: Izzy has her whip. I repeat: THE WHIP IS OUT!

Terri: And it’s the best thing about the scene. Whip it, whip it good! So far, this is one of the few things from the book they nailed. I mean, their swords look just shy of being light sabers. Someone please make a meme of them with the lightsaber sound effects.

Zakiya: I second the lightsaber meme. Someone do this, please! … Jocelyn is really telling Clare the truth. She’s really doing this? Well, all right.

Terri: Argh. Just no. No. That’s it, I’m going to have to put the books out of my mind to enjoy the series. Otherwise I’ll have high blood pressure.

Zakiya: Same. I feel like I would love this show 10 times more if I hadn’t read the books. … I love how this cop isn’t even concerned that this teen just randomly appeared on the floor of the police station at 2 a.m.

Terri: She’s also setting off my bad-guy radar.

Zakiya: Yup. She’s definitely suspicious. And then she assumes it’s guy trouble? Interesting assumption.

Terri: ‘Cause every teen girl goes to their mom’s cop boyfriend to talk about boys.

Zakiya: Of course. … Dang. Dot didn’t stand a chance.

Terri: They didn’t even try to make her similar to the book’s character. But I guess she bit it either way.

Zakiya: Yeah, wasn’t she kind of evil in the books?

Terri: Yes, if I remember right, Dot lived downstairs. She was an old woman and not very nice. She went all evil. I’d have to reread, but I feel confident that she was a grumpy old neighbor.

Zakiya: Raise your hand if you think Luke is a lying liar who lies. “I don’t care about them”‚ÄĒyeah, okay. Also, can we start a new hashtag? #OldSpiceLuke

Terri: The real question is this: Does Luke smell like Old Spice or wet dog?

Zakiya: I’m going to guess Old Spice, but then if it rains, wet dog. Now Valentine really just killed this guy with no hesitation. Is anyone safe?

Terri: Not when your secret lair is at Chernobyl!

Zakiya: Kat McNamara deserves all the awards for this emotional breakdown. The best acting I’ve seen on this show so far.

Terri: Nailed it! When you learn that monsters are real, your almost-dad is a traitor, your mom is missing, AND she torched your room, it definitely requires a meltdown.

Zakiya: Jace is carrying Clary. The ship has sailed, y’all!

Terri: Forgive me if I don’t climb into that crow’s nest with you just yet. Where was the sexual tension between Jace and Clary? The books were positively swoon-worthy, and although the movie might have tanked, box-office-wise, there is no arguing the intense chemistry between Lilly Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower (yum!). Dominic Sherwood just doesn’t seem to have that smolder.

Zakiya: Hm, that’s fair. I mean, if I had to choose a Jace, I’d choose Jamie in a heartbea. But this is only episode one, so I’m hoping Dom will grow on me.And Alec is so attractive when he’s annoyed, jealous, and brooding.

Terri: My sexy award goes to Harry Shum Jr. I’m so digging him as Magnus.

Zakiya: Of all the things to change, how do they change it from “All the stories are true” to “All the legends are true”? That’s an essential line! Although to be fair, someone on Twitter claims the movie has rights to the “All the stories are true” line, but still. I don’t like it.

Terri: Interesting! You’d think the line would belong to the author.

Zakiya: Yeah, I don’t how much truth there is to that. Either way, if I start seeing paraphernalia with “legends” on it instead of “stories,” I will riot.

Terri: My favorite thing from the church scene is Simon’s line when he calls Clary. “Dressed? What are you doing undressed in an abandoned church? Clary, is there a meth problem we need to talk about?”

Zakiya: I love that Simon doesn’t even think that Clary could possible be with a guy or something. She has to be undressed because she’s on drugs.

Terri: Overall impression: Unlike the movie, which followed the first book very closely, the series is obviously going to take a number of departures. Now that I know that, I can alter my expectations and go along for the ride. I’ll confess to being a wee bit disappointed that it didn’t stick closer to the books, but I can easily forgive that IF they can really sell me on the romance between Clary and Jace. That’s paramount for me, so bring it! That said, I’m definitely in for episode two.

Zakiya: As someone who hasn’t watched the movie (yet!), my only point of comparison is the books. That being said, of course it did go off-book, but seeing as how it’s on the same channel as Pretty Little Liars, which went WAY off-book, I kind of expected that. Honestly, I’m more excited to see some Magnus and Alec. They will forever be my favorite ship from the series.

Alright, mundanes, what did you think of the premiere? Did you love it or loathe it? Have you already watched episode two (it’s on the Freeform app!)? Let us know your thoughts below. Until next week, don’t do meth‚ÄĒand keep your pants on.

Shadowhunters airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Freeform (formerly ABC Family).

TV Families | EW.com

TV Families -- We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ''The Brady Bunch'' to ''The Flintstones''

By Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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