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'Law & Order' nostalgia recap: The one with the thinly veiled Wal-Mart

Season 18 | Episode 4 | “Bottomless” | Aired Jan 16, 2008

Sometimes, Law & Order has a sense of humor. The episode “Bottomless” would be one of those times, with a case that centers around pants and is not particularly subtle in taking aim at Wal-Mart. You wouldn’t think a dry cleaning lawsuit would make a good episode of television, but it happened anyway.

In the Law & Order version, the lawyer attempting to settle said lawsuit winds up dead and the pants the lawsuit hinges on go missing. Suspicion naturally falls on the businessman who brought the lawsuit, but when Green and Lupo investigate, the dry cleaner tells them about two other people who had come in before demanding those pants. A lot of tickets later, the detectives track down a woman named Rachel Munroe who says they were hers; she also happens to be a purchasing executive at Savings-Mart. The cops watch as she promptly leaves her apartment, trailed by two men who match the dry cleaner’s descriptions. They also work for Savings-Mart on “internal corporate stuff,” which is code for investigating Rachel’s interoffice affair.

Lupo and Green follow the company trail to a woman named Nola, who anonymously tipped off the higher-ups as a way to get back at Rachel for her lack of promotion. Nola identifies Rachel’s boyfriend as the very much married Derek Cahill, and phone records prove those were his pants and that he was desperate to get them back before they both got fired. Meanwhile, Savings-Mart security (in the person of Van Buren’s old boss) decides to “help” the case by delivering the pants in question, causing yet another ethical dilemma, which is the new weekly thing in season 18 of Law & Order.

Cahill is arrested for murder, but the defense files an immediate motion to suppress the pants, which becomes a headache for Cutter when the security chief says he located the evidence at Van Buren’s implied direction. Needless to say, he’s off the lieutenant’s Christmas-card list, and McCoy wonders what his incentive was to lie and undermine the state’s case. Rubirosa then uncovers a visit to Cahill at Rikers Island by the security chief and two other corporate bigwigs, who say they just wanted to talk about “unfinished business matters.” What Cutter hears is “engaged in a criminal conspiracy to protect a murderer.”

What’s so important about this mid-level executive that the company would obstruct justice to save him? Rubirosa figures it had to do with Cahill and Rachel’s recent business trip to China, where they visited a manufacturing company that was previously shut down by the Chinese government. The Chinese representatives tell the D.A.s that they had unconfirmed reports of deaths resulting from antifreeze in the company’s toothpaste, which was one item Cahill had stocked on Savings-Mart shelves. So it’s not so much about saving this one guy as it is covering up massive corporate liability. Ah, big business.

Jack wonders where the lethal toothpaste went to, so Cutter gets a warrant for the Savings-Mart warehouse and plays follow-the-paperwork. He and Rubirosa find a damning resale order with Rachel’s signature forged on it, which gets her to flip sides; her words prove that the company was alerted to the problem, which is enough for McCoy to threaten the higher-ups with indictment unless they find every last tube and help prosecute Cahill for the original murder. Cutter is unhappy to be settling, but that’s because he’s always looking for the giant to slay.

So as soon as he gets Van Buren’s former boss back on the witness stand, he defies the game plan and decides to question him further. Under oath, the security chief is forced to admit that his previous testimony was part of a deal between Savings-Mart and Cahill, and ends his testimony with his immediate resignation followed by turning over a mountain of evidence to the U.S. Attorney. “You broke the deal,” McCoy tells Cutter, who replies, “It’s okay, you don’t have to thank me.”

What makes Michael Cutter such a compelling character is that he’s always striving for the highest possible goal; he doesn’t want to take what he can get, and he’s not satisfied until all the bad guys are made to answer. What makes him dangerous is that he actually has the weapons to make that happen. And on the other side, “Bottomless” is a Law & Order episode that reminds us how lucky we were to have S. Epatha Merkerson in the role of Anita Van Buren for 17 seasons. If the show had indeed gone on and she would have departed as planned, she would have been a very tough act to follow.

Despite its quirky origins, this is an episode that turns into something quite complicated and at least shows off the talents of our ensemble cast. Law & Order might not have been reinventing the wheel for crime dramas, but episodes like “Bottomless” proved it still had an interesting way of presenting them.

Law & Order is airing in syndication.

TV Families

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " data-url-fragment="outbrain"> <div 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href="http://ew.com/movies/2017/03/27/pharrell-williams-producing-movie-musical-atlantis/" class="articles-recirculation__article-title">Pharrell Williams producing movie musical inspired by his childhood </a> </article> <article class="articles-recirculation__article"> <a href="/music/" class="articles-recirculation__article-category articles-recirculation__article-category--more-people channel__color--color">Music</a> <a href="http://ew.com/music/2017/03/27/charli-xcx-mura-masa-1-night-music-video/" class="articles-recirculation__article-title">Charli XCX and Mura Masa debut '1 Night' music video </a> </article> <article class="articles-recirculation__article"> <a href="/music/" class="articles-recirculation__article-category articles-recirculation__article-category--more-people channel__color--color">Music</a> <a href="http://ew.com/music/2017/03/27/chainsmokers-new-song-one/" class="articles-recirculation__article-title">The Chainsmokers release somber new song, 'The One' </a> 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