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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: Bro-cations and back stories

Season 6 | Episodes 11 | “Kuleana” | Aired Jan 8, 2016

Well everyone, it’s the Hawaii Five-0 we’ve been waiting for: McDanno goes to couples therapy! But to give my inner fangirl some time to recover, let’s discuss our Kamekona-heavy case-of-the-week first.

In a 2003 flashback, we see Kamekona’s work as a confidential informant for Chin. Kamekona and his boss, Levi, are negotiating with a drug dealer, Remy. Kame makes a deal, but Levi decides he’d rather have the money and the drugs.

Luckily, Chin and his team roll in to shut things down before there’s any bloodshed (thanks to Kamekona’s wire). Kame will serve a couple years, and Levi and Co. will be locked up for a long time.

Taylor Wily as Kamekona on Hawaii Five-0

Turns out “a long time” ends right now. Levi is out, and he comes to the shrimp truck to catch up with his old pal. Levi wants to get back into business, but Kamekona says he’s a different person now and turns him down.

However, seeing as Remy’s body washes ashore, it looks like Levi is the same. Levi thought Remy sold him out and killed him at the first opportunity. But without evidence, the only way to get Levi back behind bars is for Kamekona to go undercover again.

Back when Kamekona was a kid, he skipped school to sell knock-offs to make extra money for his family. Levi recruited him and upgraded him to drug dealing. In the present, Levi sends Kamekona to pick something up from someone his parole officer wouldn’t want him associating with. It’s a bag of cash, and Levi claims he needs to round up $300,000 by tomorrow to pay off a debt, and he’ll need Kamekona’s help.

Over at Five-0 HQ, Levi has an alibi for Remy’s murder. But Levi’s always gotten other people to do his dirty work; he probably hired someone to make the hit. If Kamekona can keep up the undercover work, they can at least nab Levi on a drug charge.

Later, Levi and Kamekona are heading to a meet when Remy stops in the middle of the highway. Kono, Lou, and Chin are following in a van, but they can’t stop and risk blowing Kame’s cover, so they drive by, giving Levi a chance to change course to their new meeting location.

Kamekona and Levi show up to find the former’s brother, Kanoa, waiting. Back in the day, Levi had roped Kanoa into dealing, too. Kamekona became a CI for Chin to get charges against his brother dropped. Konoa doesn’t know how to say thank you, because he’s flipped on Kame.

Kanoa has been running drugs on the mainland for Levi while he was in prison, and he told Levi Kamekona was a CI. Kanoa is a terrible brother, but he’s not Cain. He can’t go through with killing Kame, so Levi draws his gun. Kanoa takes out Levi right as Five-0 bursts in. Better late than never.

In one last flashback, we see Chin giving Kamekona a business book, setting him on his shave ice/shrimp truck path.

Elsewhere on the island, Gabriel comes to see Adam in prison, and threatens to kill Kono if Adam alerts the guards. I’m sure he’s up to something perfectly pleasant.

Steve and Danny attend a couple

And now, McDanno! Steve and Danny are flying to Maui for a three-day workshop to focus on their (work) relationship, which is apparently obligatory for law enforcement partners in Hawaii. (Personally, I think Denning is somewhere having a laugh.)

Anyway, Steve and Danny are bookending some poor girl on the plane while they bicker about lap dances and Pitch Perfect 2. I swear to god, I’m not making this up. HOW DO I SWITCH PLACES WITH ALYSSA?

Steve and Alyssa make plans to meet up for drinks later, and so far, McDanno’s self-professed “bro-cation” is going swimmingly. Steve says they’ll make an appearance at their seminar ,and then they can bail for golfing and drinks and artisanal soaps.

However, when they sign in at their workshop, they realize a crucial mistake. This seminar is for COUPLES. Here they can talk about their sexual incompatibility—namely, how they’re not having any—and work out their issues. Oops, Steve says, but he thinks they can make it work.

Group leader Lorraine says the issues the other couples are facing are still applicable to McDanno’s working partnership—and their relationship is fraught with issues. As my favorite random therapy guy states: “They’re stuck in a relationship they can’t get out of, they fight all the time, and they don’t have sex. Sounds a lot like our marriage.” Bless you, random therapy guy. Lorraine agrees to sign off on their therapy hours.

During a three-legged race, Steve tells Danny to take a fall so he can sneak away to text Alyssa some “deets” for tonight, but Danny’s injury is real, and he’s laid up in bed. Steven, meanwhile, sneaks back into the room in the middle of the night, drunk and with lipstick smears, and tells Danny he’s too negative; he never gave their trip a chance. But he quickly apologizes because it’s not good to go to bed angry. 611 (3)

Therapy isn’t going well. Danny rants during the next day’s session. Everyone is overanalyzing their issues. They love each other; that should be enough. He doesn’t want anyone to end up like he did with Rachel.

Steven reads the room, and decides to blow off Alyssa later and hang with Danno instead. Danny regrets not trying therapy with Rachel. Things might have been different. But if he had, he wouldn’t be on a beautiful beach with his best friend CARESSING HIS HANDS, because artisanal soap works wonders, guys.

Steve and Danny attend a couple

A Quick Note on Queerbaiting …
Queerbaiting is an issue on TV in general—especially in shows with an active fandom—and Hawaii Five-0 is no exception. (Check out this link for some more background on the issue.) As a conscientious viewer, I know that TPTB are queerbaiting me with episodes like this one. The fangirl and shipper in me appreciates the fan service; I’m definitely not going to get a canon McDanno romance, so why not appreciate what I’m given? But I also acknowledge that queerbaiting is a real issue, and it only serves to take advantage of viewers, especially those seeking the LGBTQ representation that Hawaii Five-0 is definitely lacking.

Throwing in talk of their girlfriends and dates for the first time in months is unnecessary, and frankly, an insulting “no homo” on an otherwise fun subplot. Two guys can be friends. They can love each other and be affectionate. That’s one of my favorite parts of Steve and Danny’s relationship, in canon and out. Slapping on a “no homo” mention of their TOTALLY OBVIOUS interest in ladies is unnecessary and negates their importance to each other by downplaying their feelings, whether they are sexual or not.

Their movie nights and hugs and couples retreats are something that I enjoy immensely, but the accompanying injected reminders of their VERY HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS are not. Let us enjoy the fan service; don’t ruin it by kicking a dead, straight horse.

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad_223x92']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad_223x92 --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" 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[]; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] = window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] || {}; window.time_dfp.push( function() { time_dfp.defineSlot(window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250'])}); if ( 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] || 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] ) { window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] = {}; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> </div> <div class="article-single__content"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type:</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status:</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--footer articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " 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