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'General Hospital' fan recap: Farewell to the Drakes

Season 53 | Episodes 191–195 | Aired Jan 4–8, 2016

First and foremost, thank you to everyone for voting (and debating) the 2015 year that was of General Hospital. While there were a few close races and a few definite winners, the largest margin of all came from those who would like to see Jason and Sam reunite. And while this week takes a few steps in that direction, we’re also set up with what appears to be a fairly obvious hurdle that will surely delay things.

While Ellie and Spinelli may be ready to dance a jig over the near-kiss that Sam and Jason had at the Floating Rib, Sam is playing her emotions much closer to the vest. In fact, when Jason is called away to Elizabeth’s to tend to Jake, Sam doesn’t even let a flicker of jealousy cross her face. Over at Elizabeth’s, it’s revealed that Jake claims to have seen a man peering in through the living room window. Jake is rattled enough that Elizabeth has summoned the police to investigate and Jason to calm Jake’s nerves. To her credit, Elizabeth does appear to be genuinely concerned and not playing games. But when Jason goes to leave, Jake begs his daddy to stay. Jason agrees to spend the night … on the couch.

It may be too soon to declare the obvious, but it’s a fairly easy guess that Jake is putting the wheels in motion to bring his parents back together by creating fake drama, right? Between his Franco-concerning crayon drawings and eavesdropping on Laura telling Elizabeth that it’s only a matter of time before Jason and Sam reunite, Jake is clearly not happy with the idea of his parents not being together. Laura, once again, suggests therapy for the boy, and viewers can only shake their heads in disbelief that Elizabeth hasn’t yet pursued the idea. Then again, Laura randomly suggests that Helena’s henchmen are stalking Jake, so maybe Elizabeth is just tuning her out?

Sam and Jason continue to have little moments that offer a glimmer into their forgotten (by him) history, but all the progress is moving at a glacial pace. Sam may continually stumble from stairs into Jason’s arms, and he may have a brief memory of a necklace and a kiss, but what is Jason really doing to merge his past into his present? His returned-from-the-dead son isn’t the only one who could benefit from therapy. Jason has admitted that he’s afraid his lost memories will eclipse the person he’s become, but surely the number of people who are fond of his legacy should tip the scales into some proactive behavior?

Speaking of behavior, what on earth is up with Olivia? For months she tried to keep Leo away from Julian, going so far as to fake her infant’s death. And now she’s barreling into the newly betrothed Julian and Alexis’ home as if she lives there, dropping off an insane family portrait in the process. Maybe it’s because she didn’t learn how to co-parent with Sonny when she kept Dante from him, but her actions are just beyond reason at this point. Leo was the product of a drunken one-night stand, and Olivia really needs to dial back the psychosis a bit.

Then again, her adult son isn’t acting with much more rational thought than his mother. Sure, Lulu is harboring a fugitive, but he doesn’t know that. What Dante does know is that he cheated on his wife with her cousin. What he doesn’t seem to know is that he lacks the right to barge into her workplace (or the stateroom of), give her grief, and accuse her of having sex with someone else. Even more so, to then track down Dillon and blast him with accusations of taking advantage of Lulu? Maybe if Dante learned to use the phone and call Lulu to set up an arranged sit-down conversation, these two could actually move forward? Granted, Lulu’s interactions with Johnny aren’t strictly platonic and won’t directly lead to reconciliation, but Dante doesn’t know that!

Oddly enough, the sanity train in Port Charles seems to have stopped at the doorstep of Franco and Nina. The two finally (and sweetly) consummate their relationship, and sex appears to give both of them a large amount of rational thought processes. Franco makes an effort to befriend Elizabeth, who isn’t keen on the idea since he kidnapped her son a while back. But Franco is all for town pariahs sticking together, even if most of the town seems to have forgotten that Elizabeth kept Jason from his friends and family for months. And Nina decides to “embrace the suck” when her premiere Crimson issue comes out, bathed in an unfortunate shade of green. Over Julian’s obvious sabotage efforts, and the lack of print-industry knowledge, it seems as though Nina may save Crimson after all.

Nikolas is on the mend from his balcony fall and looking to play the accident to his ELQ benefit. Somehow the Metro Court doesn’t have security footage available, so Nikolas attempts to blackmail Jason. Turn over his shares of ELQ and Nikolas won’t press charges for attempted murder. Jason has no interest in playing ball with Nikolas, so the PCPD get an earful of Jason’s “murderous” ways. Despite his mother’s warning, Nikolas still doesn’t realize that Hayden is not in his corner. To nobody’s great surprise, Hayden isn’t really Hayden, but living under an alias and hiding from a secret scandal. Tracy uncovers this information and gives Hayden one month to get ELQ away from Nikolas. Hayden’s first course of action is to suggest to Nikolas that they get married.

But the highlight and headline of the week is the final, albeit rushed, reunion, marriage, and farewell of Patrick, Robin, and Emma Drake. While many probably would have liked more scenes between Robin and her plethora of Port Charles pals, at least the saga of the Drakes ends without presumed deaths, kidnappings, or another baby in a tree. Instead, there’s a quickly arranged living room wedding, presided over by Uncle Mac, with vows dedicated to their daughter. While Robin’s lack of anger toward Elizabeth may be frustrating, it bordered on comical to see her and Carly have a fond farewell, putting aside decades of animosity. And just like that, the family of three takes leave of Port Charles for Berkeley, California, to start their new life.

And, of course, no goodbye would be complete without a #Scrubs retrospective montage …

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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<div class="article-content"> <!-- Author and Date --> <div class="author no-avatar scale-12 padded margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <div class="letter-grade grade-only"> <span class="letter-grade-shape"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> <div id="karma-lazy-seriesDetails"></div> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="https://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="div-gpt-leaderboard-fixed-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="728x90" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div id="div-gpt-mob-square-flex-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="300x250" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> 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