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Hallmark for the Holidays: 'Karen Kingsbury's The Bridge'

Guys, Hallmark deceived me. This is only half of a movie, and I am upset about it.

Karen Kingsbury’s The Bridge
Starring Katie Findlay, Wyatt Nash, Faith Ford, Ted McGinley

CHRISTMAS CHEAT SHEET

We open in 1997, as Donna (Faith Ford) and Charlie (Ted McGinley) meet in a bookstore. We see a montage of their happy lives together. They get married and are preparing to have a baby when something terrible happens.

Donna loses the baby; they won’t be able to have kids. So they decide to channel their energy into opening a bookstore instead. It will be a place where people can come to connect and heal. I’m unclear on the specifics (and The Bridge is a really vague name for a bookstore), but I love books, so I support them.

Jumping ahead to 2009, Molly (Katie Findlay, How to Get Away with Murder) is getting ready to leave her dad in Seattle to go to college across the country in Tennessee. He agreed that she could go away for college and pick her own classes, as long as she comes back to take over his company. He reminds her not to get distracted, especially by boys.

Naturally, the very first thing that happens when Molly arrives at school is … she meets a boy. Ryan (Wyatt Nash) saves her from almost getting hit a car, and they keep running into each other during registration, since they’re taking two of the same classes.

Katie Findlay, Wyatt Nash, and Faith Ford star in "Karen Kingsbury

Fate has intervened, so Ryan takes Molly to The Bridge, and introduces her to Donna and Charlie, the beloved owners. Ryan and Molly agree to be study partners; he’ll help her with music appreciation if she helps him with 19th-Century Lit.

Ryan and Molly spend a lot of time talking about their futures. She reveals that her dad is the owner of Callens Media (meaning she’s super-rich), and he is planning on her taking over after graduation. (Why he is so determined for a 20-something to run his million-dollar business is unclear.) But Molly isn’t sure what she wants. Ryan is. His passion is music, but he’s planning on co-majoring in education so he has a steady job.

Ryan and Molly spend a lot of time at The Bridge together, and Molly gets to know Donna and Charlie really well. They are there with cupcakes and book recommendations and hugs for all of their customers: Luther, who is trying to start a catering company; Edna, who was recently widowed; and their landlord and his three sons. They’re even taking bets on how long before Molly and Ryan make it official.

Katie Findlay, Wyatt Nash, and Faith Ford star in "Karen Kingsbury

Meanwhile, Molly helps Ryan with his 10-year plan for a class project. He’s struggling because it’s different from what it used to be. He doesn’t want to teach; he just wants to pursue music. But he knows so many musicians fail, and he doesn’t want to let down his mom. But he promises to talk to his mom if Molly promises to think about what she really wants. She doesn’t want to run her dad’s company, so what’s next for her?

Molly is heading home for Thanksgiving, but Ryan invites her over for Thanksgiving Eve dinner so she can meet his mom. But when Molly arrives, Ryan’s ex, Kristen, is there. They grew up next door to each other, and dated forever, but they both decided to take a break until Christmas, to see if they really wanted to be together. Kristen is obviously a little less attached to this break.

When Molly gets home, she rants to her BFF, Ronnie. She was going to tell Ryan how she felt, and stupid Kristen ruined everything. Dad is making her rethink things too. He invites her to come meet everyone at the office over Christmas break, and he’s already got her a desk and an office to work from whenever she’s back in Seattle.

Back in Tennessee, Ryan tells his mom about wanting to pursue music. She wants him to chase his own dreams; she doesn’t want him to teach just because it’s dependable. And after a chat with Charlie about “the one,” Ryan goes to officially end things with Kristen.

Faith Ford and Ted McGinley star in "Karen Kingsbury

Molly and Ryan’s burgeoning romance has inspired Donna and Charlie. They have been worried about the bookstore because of ebooks and technology, but their store brings people together; that’s something they can’t get online. So they decide to bring in local authors and musicians to drive more people to the store.

When Molly gets back from Thanksgiving, things are tense. But Ryan explains that things with Kristen are over, and he tells Molly he’s been writing songs about her. And he’s going to perform one of them at The Bridge’s open-mic night.

Wyatt Nash stars in "Karen Kingsbury

Ryan and Molly make Christmas Eve Eve dinner at her house, and he gives her a copy of his 10-year-plan video. He couldn’t have done it without her, and they FINALLY kiss.

The next morning, Ryan is approached by an agent who saw him sing at The Bridge. He’s invited to join Jesse Taylor on tour in January, but it means dropping out of school … and leaving Molly.

Then he gets another call—this time from Molly’s dad, warning off Ryan. Mr. Callens tells Ryan that Molly will be coming home to Seattle to run his company and she will marry Preston, one of his interns. To add insult to injury, he plays Ryan an altered recording of Molly friendzoning Preston the day before, which makes it seem like they’re engaged. Mr. Callens is THE WORST.

When Ryan drops Molly off at the airport later, he apologizes for kissing her. He says it was a mistake, and he is leaving school to join the tour. And he lies and says he and Kristen are giving their relationship another go. Molly looks so sad and HOW DOES RYAN NOT REALIZE HE’S BEING MANIPULATED?

When Molly gets back to Seattle, her dad seems really surprised by how upset Molly is, even though he literally caused this to happen. He thinks school may be the issue, and he offers to organize a transfer for her if she wants. But later, Ryan calls, and Molly compares the snow to a blank slate.

AND THAT’S THE END OF THE MOVIE.

QUINTESSENTIAL QUOTES

  • “I found the one.” —Charlie, referring to both Christmas trees and women
  • “Nothing’s going to wipe out books.” —Charlie is a man after my own heart

HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIE CHECKLIST

How many of the “29 signs that you are watching a Hallmark Christmas movie” does this movie check off?

  • Musical performance
  • Christmas magic (figurative)
  • Dysfunctional families
  • Widow/widower
  • Going home for Christmas
  • Small town
  • Local business
  • Huge misunderstanding
  • Decorating montage
  • Picking out a tree
  • Token celebrity

TOTAL: 11

FINAL THOUGHTS

I’m sorry, TO BE CONTINUED?! This is a Hallmark movie, not the last installment in the movie adaptation of a best-selling YA trilogy. YOU DON’T NEED TO SPLIT IT INTO TWO PARTS. They were advertising The Bridge 2 DURING the movie! They show Charlie in a coma IN THE PREVIEW. This isn’t a game, Hallmark!

I was deceived; this movie was advertised to me as “A woman reunites with an old flame while trying to save a beloved bookstore.” Instead, I got the PREQUEL to that exciting drama. “To be continued,” ugh. See you for Christmas 2016.

TV Families

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad --> </div> </nav> <span class="site-header__nav--ad__cm"> <div class="ad ad-processed" id="peopleAdheadercmad_223x92"> <script style="display:none;visibility:hidden;"> window.peopleAdMappings = window.peopleAdMappings || {}; peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = {"collapse":true,"id":"peopleAdheadercmad_223x92","oop":false,"companion":false,"size":[223,92],"pos_group_name":"header-cm-ad_223x92","sitename":"cm.enw","zone":"music","targeting":{"cmpos":["globalheader"],"cmtyp":["tout"],"pos":1,"pos_group_name":"header-cm-ad_223x92","adLoadMethod":"page"},"sizes":[[[1024,0],[[223,92]]]],"ad_name":"header-cm-ad_223x92"};; // Init defaults window.time_dfp = 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/.header-cm-ad_223x92 --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=email" target="_blank" title="Email"><span>Email</span></a></li><li class="share-end"></li></ul></div></div></div> </div> </header> <div class="ad ad--headline-sibling"> <!-- Advertisement; 300x250 / 300x600 Flex Ad Unit --> <div class="ad ad-processed" id="peopleAdhp_300x250"> <script style="display:none;visibility:hidden;"> window.peopleAdMappings = window.peopleAdMappings || {}; peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = {"collapse":true,"id":"peopleAdhp_300x250","oop":false,"companion":false,"size":[300,250],"pos_group_name":"hp_300x250","zone":"music","sizes":[[[1024,0],[[300,250],[300,600]]],[[601,0],[[300,250],[300,600]]],[[0,0],[[300,250]]]],"ad_name":"hp_300x250","targeting":{"pos":1,"pos_group_name":"hp_300x250","adLoadMethod":"page"}};; // Init defaults window.time_dfp = window.time_dfp || []; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] = window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] || {}; window.time_dfp.push( function() { time_dfp.defineSlot(window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250'])}); if ( 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] || 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] ) { window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] = {}; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> </div> <div class="article-single__content"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type:</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status:</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " data-url-fragment="outbrain"> <div 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