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'Undateable' fan recap: Whip it good

Season 3 | Episode 7 | “An Origin Story Walks into a Bar” Aired November 20, 2015

The cast of Undateable seemed a little more relaxed this episode. Perhaps it was the extra week of rehearsals? Out of respect for the terrorist attacks in Paris, last week’s episode didn’t air. This is when live TV comes in handy. Writers were able to fill the cold opening with shoutouts to France, including the bar chalkboard serving as a love letter. Even Shelly spent his days offering hugs to his French and Muslim friends. He tacks on a bit of patriotism at the end for good measure:

“Do you think I’m afraid of ISIS? I’m from Detroit!”

The was a mixture of sweetness and humor, which is completely appropriate for a 30-minute sitcom boasting a cast of well-respected comedians. Well done, Undateable. Well done.

Upon Shelly’s return from his hugathon, Danny asks his friends if a certain Karate Kid pose is sexy? All agree that no man would ever stand like that unless a punk kid in a skeleton costume is about to throw the first punch. Justin explains that Danny should pose as if he’s listening to a woman who is telling him about her day. Danny concedes, accepting the fact that he’s been acting like … what’s the word they all use to describe Justin?

Brett pipes in and first offers “puffy” before landing on “not quite good-looking enough for TV.” Danny smiles and says that Justin is good-looking enough to be the second lead. The dig actually is funnier than expected because Chris D’Elia botches the line. He has a hard time recovering, but we eventually learn that a lady friend is coming to visit—the one he lost his virginity to when he was a waiter at a fancy restaurant. She was older and asked for some hot coitus for dessert. After an embarrassing conversation with the head chef, Danny finally became a man.

Leslie is nervous that the infamous Jackie is going to play Danny like she did for years. Danny assures her that he would never get involved with a washed-up, wrinkly old body like Jackie’s, and is completely surprised when a hot woman waltzes up wearing leather pants. Hello, Jackie! And hello, actress Christa Miller! Does this woman ever age? (Fun fact: She’s the real-life wife of Undateable creator Bill Lawrence!)

After the musical break (performed by guest Alessia Cara), two weeks have passed, and Danny is at Jackie’s mercy. She makes him wash her car and pick her up from work, and she even awkwardly bites his lip in front of all his friends. When Jackie leaves, Justin points out that Danny is whipped. He does this by encouraging the guys to make a “jazz-hand tunnel” which he runs through singing, “You’re her bitch.” That moment may go down as one of my favorites, next to the “slow-motion celebration,” of course.

Danny explains that he’s doing this because of the great sex. It’s so good that his penis will one day be inducted into the Penis Hall of Fame. Burski, being Burski, kneels down by Danny’s crotch and takes a selfie. He probably framed it, too.

The next day, Danny arrives at the bar wearing an outfit that is eerily similar to Justin’s. Sure, Danny has his hair in a ponytail and sports significantly more facial scruff, but the outfit is the spitting image of something his little buddy would wear.

Justin: In the words of Janice, my favorite secondary character from the hit TV show Friends: Oh … my … gawd …

The entire look makes Leslie furious. Clearly Danny is backsliding into his old ways. Then Jackie walks in the bar and barks for Danny to get into the car. Before Jackie gets out the door, Justin shouts that he doesn’t think she is right for Danny. Christa Miller’s reaction was flawless. The fiery eyes, the cock of the eyebrow, and the “oh no you didn’t” point of a finger all send Justin into a stuttering mess. She grabs him by the chin (or his chins) and demands that he back off. Candace runs in to save her beau, but her chin is met with an equally aggressive grab. Does anyone else need their face squished?

Back at Danny and Justin’s house, the entire gang filters in through doors and windows to rescue Danny from an unwanted haircut AND future faces squishes. They don’t want Jackie to hurt Danny anymore. Danny plants himself on the couch and the entire cast picks it up and scoots out the door.

Moments later, we find Danny, still on the couch, in the middle of the bar. Everyone snuggles up to him. They all encourage Danny to tell Jackie how he feels. They will support him every step of the way.

Well, they will support him until Jackie comes in and starts spouting off insults. Leslie is one track suit away from being Jane Lynch. Burski will never find love. Brett got laid more when he was straight. The dog on Frasier was better than Mo. Fortunately, the barrage of negative comments about his friends is the one thing that Danny will not stand for. They are like the Guardians of the Galaxy: stronger together. See ya, Jackie!

Cue the slow-motion hero walk!

Love Notes

Danny: She’s like Dumbledore. Except being all old, and a dude, she’s a 50-year-old female who is really hot and has a rock-hard body because of Pilates and she shaves all over.
Shelly: I don’t think I read that Harry Potter book.

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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<div class="article-content"> <!-- Author and Date --> <div class="author no-avatar scale-12 padded margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <div class="letter-grade grade-only"> <span class="letter-grade-shape"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> <div id="karma-lazy-seriesDetails"></div> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="https://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="div-gpt-leaderboard-fixed-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="728x90" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div id="div-gpt-mob-square-flex-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="300x250" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> 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