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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: Big man on campus

Season 6 | Episodes 9 | “Hana Keaka” | Aired Nov 20, 2015

Did you know that pigs can digest human bone? Fun facts brought to you by Hawaii Five-0 and this week’s murder victim, whose body was dumped in a pig pen. Don’t you hate when bacon bites back?

The body is half eaten by the time Five-0 arrives, but Max is able to ID their victim: economics Professor Elliott Thomas. He was shot, but they’ll be able to recover the bullet once the pigs expel it. (Hey, they can’t digest everything.)

Steve and Lou find evidence that Thomas was abducted from the faculty parking lot on campus. There, the dean tells them that Thomas had lots of enemies at Oahu State. Thomas had terrible reviews online, and someone even threw a brick through his window. All of his students hated him, and therefore, they’re all suspects.

Hawaii Five-0, episode 6x09 "Hana Keaka

Luckily, there was a print on the brick. They just have to find the student it belongs to. Steve points out that Danny was a business minor in college, and he has the perfect disposition for a grumpy professor. Danny is going undercover.

And so is Eric! Danny can gather prints, but they need someone who can get in with the students and gather intel, and E-Train is the perfect choice.

So the Williamses head to college—Danny posing as Thomas’s replacement, Professor Jeffries, and Eric as one of his students. I already love this storyline for several reasons: more Eric, Danny in glasses, and THE RETURN OF THE TIE! (Insert praise hands emoji here.)

Danny goes undercover in Hawaii Five-0, episode 6x09 "Hana Keaka

The class is thrilled that Thomas is gone, but less thrilled when Danny gives them a pop quiz. (Hey, he’s gotta collect prints somehow.) And Eric ingrains himself into campus life quickly, snagging an invite to tonight’s kegger, which is his number-one priority (for the case).

Five-0 has their first suspect when Brandon, the star basketball player, rushes out of the assembly about Thomas’s death. Brandon was failing Thomas’s class, and his print matches the brick. Steve and Lou track him down, but he claims his coach did it.

But Coach says there was no need. When he found out Brandon was ineligible to play, Coach went to the board of trustees to get Thomas fired (because a winning basketball team is more important than academics). It’s Thomas’s last semester, and Coach and Brandon have alibis. Back to square one.

But that’s okay, because Eric and Danny are just killing it on campus. Danny is the temptation of coed girls everywhere (obviously) and also kind of randomly great at teaching college economics. And Eric is living the dream: going to college without classes and crushing on hot Tiffany. Things are good.

Andrew Lawrence as Eric Russo in Hawaii Five-0, episode 6x09 "Hana Keaka

Things were also good for Thomas (at least until he was murdered). He had recently purchased a nail salon that was making serious bank. But seeing as the salon was always empty, Five-0 knows it was a front for something.

One of Thomas’s students, Alfie Tucker (Samuel Larsen, Glee, who is unrecognizable without his dreads) is listed as an employee for the salon. Eric has all the hot goss on campus, and tells Uncle D that Alfie is the campus pot dealer. He must have been working with Thomas.

Steve and Lou search Alfie’s dorm and find TONS of pot and grow lamps hidden in the ceiling. They weren’t just selling drugs; they were growing them, too. Looks like they know what that salon is a front for.

Steve and Lou catch Alfie just as he’s about to burn the plants. In interrogation, Alfie says he wasn’t interested in the money; he was just dealing to his friends until Thomas caught him and decided to become his partner. He taught Alfie to expand his business, and that didn’t go over well with the competition.

But Alfie’s story doesn’t add up. The other drug dealers have no idea who he is, and the gun used to kill Thomas was traced back the shooting range Alfie frequents. And on the night of the murder, he “accidentally” took the gun home with him from the range. Turns out the money was important after all. Case (and undercover work) closed.

Steve also got a subplot with Nahele this week. (That’s the kid who stole his car last season.) Nahele’s dad, Kaili, is out of prison after eight years, and now he wants custody of his son. But Nahele tells Steve he’d rather live on the streets than with his dad.

So Steve goes to talk to Kaili. Steve suggests it may be better to drop the custody hearing and instead try to earn back Nahele’s trust. But Kaili is making up for lost time; he just wants to be with his son again. Steve believes him, but he still feels like Nahele is hiding something.

At the hearing, the court rules in Kaili’s favor, and Nahele runs off. Steve finds him in his garage. He tells Nahele he’ll always protect him, but he can’t do that if he doesn’t know everything.

So Nahele comes clean. Before his dad went to prison, Nahele was in the car when his dad murdered someone. Steve goes to the spot and finds the body. He sends Duke to go bring Kaili in, but something tells me he’s going to be long gone.

Hawaii Five-0, episode 6x09 "Hana Keaka

OTHER STUFF

  • Fun fact: I am 80 percent sure the dog running around during the Frisbee scene on the quad was Scott Caan’s dog, Dot.
  • Last week’s plan to use Conman Hank’s virus to bait Gabe didn’t work. Hank got shanked in prison, so it’s safe to assume Gabe caught on. The lab techs wipe HQ’s servers, and it’s another point to Gabe.
  • The prosecutor offers Adam a deal for the two murders he confessed to last episode—two years in prison—and Adam is considering taking it. Kono doesn’t understand; it was self-defense against his kidnappers. But Adam feels guilty and any opportunity for the prosecutor to put away former Yakuza, right?
  • Chin and Abby continue their flirtations as Chin does gentlemanly things like open car doors and lend Abby his office when he’s not there. (Abby has low standards.) Also, “Chibby” is the worst ship name OF ALL TIME.
  • Steve’s definitely going to foster Nahele, right?

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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