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'General Hospital' fan recap: The Cassadine curse

Season 53 | Episodes 162–166 | Aired Nov 16–20, 2015

General Hospital‘s Patrick Drake has a short memory. First off, he seems to have forgotten the month he waffled between Robin and Sabrina. Second, Patrick has yet to mention the time he and Sam flew off to Amsterdam to investigate the whole Fluke/Jerry Jacks debacle. Wouldn’t it be nice if Patrick acknowledges that Sam is allowed to be conflicted and that her thirst for adventure really never waned? Instead, Patrick is pressuring Sam to make a finite decision within days of Jason’s return from the dead.

Jason flees Port Charles, and his first stop is a visit to his old friend Spinelli. Spinelli’s joy at his friend’s return is delightful to watch. Spinelli doesn’t pressure Jason to remember anything, but does point out that Jason has been drawn to his previous life and livelihood. With Spinelli’s help, Jason tracks down Helena’s exact location on Cassadine Island. Spinelli uses Jason’s offshore account holdings to get him a chartered plane to Greece. And Spinelli didn’t give that money to Jason’s widow for the past two years … why?

Also fascinating to watch is Elizabeth’s attitude toward Sam. Elizabeth fell in love with “Jake” before she knew who he was, that much is true. But she also knew exactly the truth for months as they “built their life together.” Elizabeth’s response to her mountain of deception is to adopt a smug attitude, especially with Sam, taunting her that Jason has chosen Elizabeth. Things only get testier as, following a call from Spinelli, the two board a flight to Greece together. Sam mentions that Elizabeth could never handle Jason’s lifestyle and if his memories return, he will surely remember that. Elizabeth counters that Jason already chose her and wonders if Sam is just using Patrick as a placeholder. In a shockingly cruel moment, Elizabeth asks if Patrick is just someone to be between Sam’s legs until she can hop back on Jason’s motorcycle. The appalling dig earns Elizabeth a drink to the face, courtesy of Sam.

The flight attendant warns that if the ladies don’t calm down, they’ll be arrested upon landing … and then serves a second round of drinks. This time, Sam chastises Elizabeth, saying they’re not equals, Elizabeth is just a damsel in distress, and she has always been Jason’s cross to bear. And with that, Elizabeth tosses her drink into Sam’s face. The flight attendant doesn’t have them arrested, but expresses sympathy for Jason having to deal with them both. Sam calls a truce, asking them to both agree that all they want is what is best for Jason.

Jason makes his way to the island, propelling into the residence via rope. After a tussle with a guard, he enters Helena’s quarters, only to find Nikolas already waiting for him. Nikolas tells him that Helena is at death’s door, but Jason demands to see her anyway, and the gun he is holding wins the debate. Once at Helena’s bedside, where she is outfitted with a nasal cannula, Jason demands answers, but the conversation is quickly interrupted by the arrival of Sam and Elizabeth. Helena speaks in riddles, taunting about the Jason information she has, but not revealing anything more than having fished Jason out of the water after Faison shot him. While Elizabeth tries to avoid any incriminating information coming out, Sam tears into Helena, telling her to burn in hell, and commenting on Mikko’s infidelity with Sam’s grandmother. Like the Spencer and Quartermaine families before her, Sam finds herself on the receiving end of a Cassadine Curse.

Back in Port Charles, Franco’s car is identified as the one that ran Carly off the road. Franco is arrested and, surprisingly, confesses—over Nina’s objections that they were together the entire evening. It doesn’t take long for Nina and Kiki to realize he is covering for Kiki. Franco tells Kiki that he wants to do this, and Morgan is all for letting Franco take the wrap, to a gleeful degree. Nina pressures Nathan to take another look at the evidence, but Franco begs her to let it go, grandstanding that he wants to prove to Port Charles that they are now good people. Nathan sees through this and has the camera footage enhanced, clearly showing Kiki behind the wheel. Franco’s last effort is to claim it was his Khaleesi costume!

Meanwhile, Morgan has decided that he and Kiki need fresh starts, out of town, while letting Franco take the rap. His enthusiasm encourages Kiki to leave with him, but once they arrive, it’s abundantly clear that Morgan is exhibiting manic behavior. Between strip poker, his polar-bear plunge, and intimating that it’s a random stranger’s cabin, Kiki starts to notice that something seems to be off with Morgan. Despite spotty cell reception, Kiki gets a call from Franco that the police are looking for her and she should run. Kiki, however, is ready to head back to Port Charles, but Morgan thinks they should stay gone indefinitely. Then Morgan hears a noise outside, and paranoia kicks in. Thinking it’s the police, he arms himself with a loaded shotgun.

And while Sonny may not be in the midst of a bipolar episode, his pity party is quickly growing weary. Yes, Sonny, you’re in a wheelchair, but everyone is telling you that it may not be permanent if you listen to doctor’s and Epiphany’s orders. So stop staring sadly at your surroundings and do what you are told. And let Carly help you. *Boom*—handled.

And while Nikolas may be away, Hayden continues to dig into her shooting. She pays Shawn a visit in prison, letting on that he may not have been the one to put her in a coma. Since Hayden doesn’t want to arouse suspicion, she asks for his help in looking for the shell casing that may belong to her actual shooter.

Finally, in parts unknown, Robin is horrified as she watches an operative try to abduct Emma. But Emma has Scorpio/Devane blood and manages, even at a young age, to thwart the efforts. The scare is enough for Robin, though, as she agrees to play by her captor’s rules, although she is assured that Jason will come for her.

And just for fun, here’s Helena’s epic and historic original curse …

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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