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'Law & Order: SVU' fan recap: Dodds learns some stuff

Season 17 | Episode 7 | “Melancholy Pursuit” | Aired Nov 11, 2014

This is the week SVU tried to humanize Sgt. Dodds, and I’m not sure it worked. Dodds might be Teflon when it comes to humanizing. Adding to my “meh,” Andy Karl (the actor who plays Dodds) is getting some sort of weird makeup job. It makes him look like he’s molting. It’s possibly one of those Ray Liotta/Cameron Diaz jobs where the actor has acne or pockmarks and they gotta cover ’em up because HD. I’m not hating. I’m a pizza-face from way back, but it’s just disconcerting. I keep waiting for him to rip his face off and reveal that he’s William Lewis.

This is also the first time in season 17 that Baby Benson has been put in danger. Cheap ploy, SVU! You know the #SVUDieHards are Baby Benson supporters! You save that sort of flagrant audience manipulation for the season finale. It was funny to see veteran comic actress Alexandra Wentworth (she’s married to George Stephanopoulos!) playing the super-annoying yoga mom tormenting Liv at the playground. When Liv realized that Noah was gone and Wentworth’s character kept insisting on a play date, I was waiting for Liv to go “Hag, my kid is missing! F–k off!” But I digress; let’s tackle the ep.

Fin and Carisi answer a call from the Evans household. Daughter Lily, 15, hasn’t come home from school, and it’s been discovered that she’s been missing since 7:30 that morning. Interspersed with this week’s opening scene is Liv realizing that Noah has disappeared from the playground. Thankfully, she finds him. Being in SVU for so long and having seen the most gruesome behavior that man has to offer, you can only imagine what she was fearing happened.

Dodds begins the episode snarking about SVU having to locate missing teens. You can tell Fin is barely tolerating him and is ready to slap the heavy cover-up off his mug. They discover a bunch of “sexy” photos that swim-team member Lily took of herself in her bathing suit. She’d been sexting with someone named Diego and hiding ciggies and condoms in her bedroom. With a rebel yell, she cried “DODDS, SHUT UP.”

A friend of Lily tells them that Lily had been smokin’ doobies and wanted to go “from a pool girl to a cool girl.” Did she really express that in those exact words, Lily’s friend? Because you’re making her sound like she was a 40-year-old actress playing a teen in a movie about familial strife on the Hallmark Channel. Anyway, Lily’s new “cool-girl” crew has been crashing frat parties in Tompkins Square. You would think these clowns who were going to school in the middle of NYC would aim higher. There’s just too much culture, and history, and activity, and LIFE going on in NYC that a kegger would seem sort of lame, right? Millennials are the worst. Oh, and that’s where they find Diego. Spoiler alert: There’s a pretty big age gap between him and Lily.

However, it turns out that Diego is the wrong guy. And that’s when Dodds starts quoting the wisdom-dripping Deputy Chief Dodds or, as Dodds knows him, “Daddy.” Something something teenage girls. Liv is in charge, so she feels (rightly) that she can shut him and his stupid police-family homilies down. She does it in a civil manner, but he gets the message that he’s a suckhole. A homeless man is pinched for using Lily’s debit card. Her bag is located and then, sad face, they find her body. The homeless dude didn’t kill her, and that’s when this fairly simple episode gets SUPER-complicated. WAY too complicated. The DNA/suspect angle got so unnecessarily complicated that I picked up my phone and began trying to beat the frickin’ board I’m stuck on in “Plants vs. Zombies 2.”

SVU Dodds is traumatized

Warner, the best M.E. in the game, analyzes the DNA and then does it again, because no one wants to go to the practice pool to interview people? That’s what I inferred. Anyway, there’s nothing in CODIS indicating the killer. But there IS an overlap with another DNA database, and it’s that of the killer’s relative. Okay, I’m hanging in there. Fair enough. Proceed.

They track down a suit named Brendon. He has no idea who it could be because he’s adopted. He does have his birth mom’s address, but he never contacted her. Well, SVU has to, and we find out that Brendon was born out of wedlock to a lady who had an affair with her bus driver. Good for her. You get it where you can. However, Mr. Bus Driver was already married with children, so she kept everything secret out of respect. She knew his wife. And THAT’S how you commit adultery. Mr. Bus Driver is deceased but he has two sons and a widow, and they all live out on City Island. Is that the place where the brackish water haunted Jennifer Connelly and her child? No, that’s Roosevelt Island. Seriously, ice dams and the eventual flooding that occurs were the villains in that stupid movie.

George and Robby Bus Driver are a lawyer and a roadie, in that order, and pretty much the real-life version of Goofus and Gallant. Remember them? When you were a kid in the dentist’s office and you were too young to appreciate the mess that was People, you had to read Highlights. Goofus and Gallant were twin brothers. Goofus always did things incorrectly, and Gallant was sparkling and perfect. I identified way more with Goofus, so I found Gallant to be condescending and imagined he tortured small animals when he wasn’t being perfection in Highlights.

Anyway, George didn’t do it and claims his brother Robby wouldn’t kill a young girl. SVU isn’t too sure about that, seeing as A) Robby was acquitted on a sex assault charge some years before and B) he confesses to killing Lily Evans! Oh, good, case closed. Yeah, no. He confessed because he’s wacky. We have another half-hour of twisting (again unnecessarily) story to go here. Mr. Bus Driver was basically tapping every lady he gave a ride to. I’m skipping the obvious joke. He had bastard children all over City Island.

It should be mentioned here that Dodds suggests they take DNA samples from every single male of age on City Island. Carisi, using that law degree, suggests that Dodds’ plan would violate civil liberties. Dodds is way disturbed by his first child murder and guilt-ridden ‘cuz he wanted to drop the case. Warner’s report showed that Lily was still alive at the time he was turning his nose up at a missing girl. Yeah, you should feel guilty, you molting douche. Ew, that’s a gross concept.

Okay, so they turn up mild-mannered Gary Bus Driver of City Island. He did it. He’d been spotting Lily all the time and finally worked up the urge to offer her a ride. He tearfully explains that he tried to kiss her, she resisted, and he knocked her out so she couldn’t report him. He then choked her to death and dumped the body. “I’ve been sick over it since then!” he sobs. Liv looks at him like he’s an overflowing septic tank. It’s an accurate comparison.

Dodds is still traumatized. Liv advises him to go home and not let the job get to him. Easy for you to say! If he goes home, Daddy is going to be all over him with terrible police-work how-to fables. F that!

Law & Order: SVU airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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