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'General Hospital' fan recap: Jason revealed

Season 53 | Episodes 152–156 | Aired Nov 2–6, 2015

Let choirs sing out. Let children rejoice in the street. Let the happy dancing commence. As of November 6, 2015, General Hospital‘s Jakeson is no more. While his own memories may remain elusive, Jake officially knows he is Jason Morgan/Quartermaine. The next chapter of this saga has finally begun. And while we may have no thanks to Elizabeth, Nikolas, Hayden, Lucky, or Laura for keeping us tied to the secret, we can firmly thank Carly for finding out the truth and running (and crashing and falling) with it.

While Carly Corinthos may have her detractors, when it comes to determination, she is largely unparalleled. As soon as Carly sees Spinelli’s facial reconstruction showing that Jake Doe is Jason, she springs into action. Carly obtains Jason’s DNA by making him rehydrate post–bachelor party, as any best person is wont to do. Snagging the empty water bottle, she reaches out to a hotel client, a doctor, and has him run a DNA test against Jason’s on-file DNA within the PCPD. Remember when Helena had Jason’s fingerprints wiped from the system so nobody would identify Jake-as-Jason last year? Apparently she didn’t wipe the DNA files, and nobody has run it in the past year (lazy), so it takes Carly a matter of scenes to get her results. Her best friend is alive!!!

Of course, the path to telling this information is wrought with more delays than a flight out of Chicago in January. First, a drunk Kiki runs Carly off the road. Then Carly is unconscious. When she regains consciousness, she’s trapped by her seat belt and can’t reach her phone. After she cuts herself out of the seat belt, she calls Jason, but stumbles and drops her phone into a puddle. And for her grand finale, Carly trips and knocks herself out (again), hitting her head on a rock.

Meanwhile, a handful of people have noticed that Carly has gone incommunicado. Jason has Sam ping his cell phone and he tracks her down to the accident site. And there, the magic finally happens. Carly begins to call him Jason, and he thinks she is delusional after the accident. Then Carly pushes on, revealing the computer program and DNA results. Jason is in firm denial for about a minute, and then his resolve crumbles. While he begins to accept the truth, Jason has a hard time believing that he has been living his own life, for a year, with no glimmer of recognition. Carly reminds him that people in town were drawn to him; Spinelli knew it from behind; and of he has an amazing Jason-like skill set. Jason accepts the truth and wonders what he is supposed to do now. Carly suggests calling off his wedding to Elizabeth, since he’s still married to Sam.

Speaking of which, Elizabeth has spent the whole day getting primped and ready for her wedding, only to have constant reminders of her deception rear their knowing heads. First, Laura, having found out Jason was searching for his truth, shows up at her house. Laura points out that if Elizabeth’s connection to Jason is real, then Elizabeth should trust him and tell the truth. Elizabeth isn’t interested, and even less so when Hayden pops into the church’s bridal suite for some baiting conversation. As Jason and Carly are delayed, the crowd grows restless, especially Elizabeth’s sons. Jason texts Sam (?!?) to let her know they’re on the way. Just as Elizabeth is about to announce a slight delay to the assembled guests, Carly and Jason arrive. And for the viewing audience, Monday can’t arrive quickly enough!

Back at the hospital, Sonny is only slightly concerned about his AWOL wife, instead focusing on Ric’s news that the Avery custody has been moved up to that afternoon. Never mind that Sonny is still in the hospital—it’s a perfect time to go after Ava, right? Criminal activities aside (on both parties), why was this supposed to be a good thing? Sonny and Ava tear into each other in his hospital room, pretrial, with both showing their ugly desire to win over care for their daughter. Scott is determined to let the day in court be the deciding factor, but Ava is panicked that the judge will side with Sonny. Ava reaches out to Paul for assistance, but he’s not willing to openly get his hands dirty. Instead, Paul provides Ava with a mysterious game plan that gives her confidence in the day’s outcome. To celebrate, the pair decide to have sex on Paul’s desk, with the office door slightly ajar, and a shocked Anna listening (looking?) in.

The marriage of Lulu and Dante is officially in dire straits, as Lulu finds out the sordid details of her husband’s night with her cousin in her marital bed. The Halloween party is officially derailed, with Nathan ordering the guests out by command of the PCPD. Valerie, while apologizing, still tries to put some ownership of the situation on Lulu because of her secret trip to Canada with Dillon. Yup, not buying it. Even if Lulu and Dillon had been having an affair, two wrongs don’t make a right, so this is still all on Dante and Valerie. Especially Valerie, as Dante was drunk and irrational at the time. To his credit, Dante isn’t blaming his wife, just profusely apologizing. But Lulu has no interest in forgiveness, telling Dante and Olivia that her marriage is over. Lulu moves out, taking Rocco’s stuffed bear, but leaving behind the family photo Dante offers her.

Now that truths are on the table, it remains to be seen which questions will be answered and what remaining secrets will come to light. How long will it be until Nikolas and Elizabeth’s duplicity is revealed? What will come of Hayden’s knowledge about Nikolas’ role in her shooting? How long will Monica hug Jason for? Will Jason’s memories return, or will his newfound noncriminal personality stick? Will Franco learn that nobody sideswiped his car, but instead, his pseudo-daughter crashed it? Will anybody do the math on Sabrina’s enormous baby bump? How will little Emma react to yet another back-from-the-dead engagement derailment?

Which question/secret has you the most excited?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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