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'Undateable' fan recap: And then a hero comes along

Season 3 | Episode 5 | “Halloween Walks Into a Bar” Aired Oct 30, 2015

It’s hard to pick the most adorable moment from this Undatable episode. I can’t decide between Justin’s plan to carve a Donald Trump-kin, Bianca Kajlich dressing up as sexy Steve Jobs, or musical guest Meghan Trainor plunking “All About That Bass” on a ukulele. Whatever I choose, it’s clear that the Undateable cast and crew know exactly how to pull off an epic Halloween episode.

Justin is in full boyfriend mode with Candace. He asks Danny to let him know if he’s screwing things up by going too fast. Seconds later, Danny calls Justin out for excessive romance after witnessing Justin forcing Candace to pay the “hug toll” before she can leave the apartment. Warning: The hugs are longer and stronger during rush hour.

Everyone gathers at the bar to help Justin work through his lovey-dovey issues. Let the costume parade begin! Danny is a centaur, Shelly is Winnie the Pooh, Brett is an ice-encrusted Captain of the Titanic, and Burski is a Jewish Wolverine. (You know, regular Wolverine with stomach issues.) Justin barges in carrying a rather large bear head and a Goldilocks costume perfect for Candace. Danny convinces Justin to put on the bear head in order to be incognito so he can eavesdrop on a conversation Danny’s about to have with Candace. Does she really like Justin’s romance tactics?

It turns out she does! Except when she doesn’t. The heart-shaped food and constant back rubbing while whispering, “I’m here for you” have to stop. Candace realizes that communication is key in a relationship. She runs off to find Justin to ask him to cease and desist from hug tolls and butterfly kisses. Justin is heartbroken. Two hours ago he was ready to have kids with this woman and now it’s ruined thanks to Danny acting as human birth control.

Cue Chris D’Elia in a centaur outfit pretending to fight off a legion of sperm. It’s as awesome as you are imagining right now.

Leslie intervenes and shares some womanly wisdom. The sexiest thing a guy can say after his girl asks him to change a behavior is, “No problem. I’ll work on that.” She’s unfazed when Jewish Wolverine repeats the line back to her. Justin is still ambivalent about changing his behavior. He’s disappointed that he finally fell in love with someone, and she wants him to be different from his true personality. The entire gang pauses at the word “love.”

Justin sulks at home with a bowl full of apples and toothbrushes for the trick-or-treaters. When his friends show up to encourage him to talk to Candace, he balks. Danny instructs Pooh Bear, Jewish Wolverine, Steve, and the frigid Captain to grab an appendage. They rip Justin’s clothes from his body, add a makeshift cape, and a mask. Justin is now a hero and must save his relationship. Good couples change for each other. Take it to church, Super Justin!

Back at the bar, Candace confronts Justin about all the romantic things he does for her. She asks if he can work on toning it down a bit. Through gritted teeth, Justin answers, “No problem. I’ll work on that.” Candace is elated that Justin refrained from breaking into a cold sweat! Since she’s on a roll, she lets him know other things that bother her: sleeping with socks, kissing with his eyes open, and the way he says Mario Lopez. Newsflash: Justin is not Latino, so there’s no need to roll the “R” sound.

Candace leaves, and Justin collapses to the floor. He sees a light! (It’s a stage light.) He sees his family! (That’s just the audience.) He’s not going to make it! But Candace returns to let him know one more thing. Justin summons the courage to take the hit. She thanks him for being cool about her demands and then tells him that she loves him. Awwww!

Justin isn’t the only one who is far from undateable. Danny finds a female centaur and it looks like Meghan Trainor has a thing for Pooh Bear. Here’s hoping we can find a nice Jewish mutant for Wolverine.

Pickup Lines
Look at this! My BF hanging out with my GF, while we hang out with my other BF.
Shelly: That better not mean “black friend.”

Danny: My penis just jumped off my body and ran away.
Shelly: Mine wanted to leave, but it was afraid it would have to pay the hug toll.

Undateable airs Fridays at 8/7C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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