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'Hawaii Five-0' fan recap: Mud and motorcycles

Season 6 | Episodes 5 | “Ka ‘alapahi Nui” | Aired Oct 23, 2015

Danny’s back on Hawaii Five-0, and everyone is dirty (but not in a good way). But before we get to all that, let’s solve a very elaborate murder.

A man named Kevin Harper is getting ready to give a deposition when a motorcycle drives into the law office (up the elevator, down the halls—the whole shebang), and the rider shoots Harper through the conference-room window, all while his beautiful, blonde family watches from the waiting room.

When Five-0 arrives, they learn Harper was a restaurateur who was being sued by his partners for embezzlement. But when Steve and Danny talk to Harper’s wife and daughter, they admit that the embezzled money was actually protection money Harper was being forced to pay the Samoan mob. And he was going to come clean during the deposition.

Lou fills the team in on some more interesting information: The building went into lockdown when the killer sped in. So how did he get out? Chin and Kono find a bike left on the roof of the building next door. The killer jumped between buildings on a motorcycle. Seeing as that’s a pretty rare skill, the team assumes this was a hit.

So Chin heads out on his own motorcycle to talk to his bike guy (Robbie Knievel). He tells Chin that the bike they found is tricked-out and not street legal. A crew of stunt riders called the Road Warriors all have similar bikes.

The Road Warriors hold flashmob-style events, shutting down traffic and performing dangerous tricks. But that’s not all. They also hijack trucks. And via some handy HPD GPS-tracking, Five-0 will know where their next performance is.

The Road Warriors are headed up a highway where they pull some stunts before heading into a tunnel. But they’re blocked off by Chin and Co. Their ride is over.

Daniel Dae Kim as Chin Ho Kelly in Hawaii Five-0

Meanwhile, Kono interviews the Samoans’ “bag man,” the guy collecting all of the protection money. But the guy claims he’s never heard of Harper, and he gives up his ledger to prove it. Harper was lying about where that missing money was going.

Kono tracks the money down to a mysterious consultant, John Messer, who gets a huge fee, but no one has heard of him. And the checks correspond to Harper’s monthly trips to Maui, where Messer lives. There’s the missing money, but who is Messer?

After interrogating one of the bikers, Steve and Chin get the location of the next Road Warriors theft, so when the bikers open the truck hoping for some grade-A electronics, they find Five-0, guns blazing, instead. Oops.

Their leader, Iceman, says it’s just coincidence that his crew rides the same bikes and uses the same guns as the killer, but Steve thinks it’s probably not a coincidence that their crew normally has five guys, and tonight they’re down to four. Iceman admits that they’re missing a guy, but if he’s the killer, he’s acting alone.

Their missing crew member is Tyler Kaheaku, who happens to be Facebook official with Harper’s daughter, Aubrey. When Steve and Danny swing by to talk to the wife, she doesn’t recognize Tyler. But Aubrey and her dad had been fighting lately; maybe he found out.

Mrs. Harper calls Aubrey so Five-0 can track the call, and Aubrey says she’s going away for a while. She warns her mom that her dad wasn’t who they thought he was before ditching her phone and riding off with Tyler. They’re going on the run.

Hawaii Five-0, "Ka 'alapahi Nui"

Kono and Lou head to Maui to track down Messer and the missing money. He’s not home, but his wife invites them in and they spot a family photo—featuring Harper. Messer IS Harper. He’s been pulling double duty for four years, and both wives just think he travels a lot for work. Aubrey must have found out and had her boyfriend kill her father for her.

Aubrey was smart enough to ditch her car, but she still used her credit card to buy plane tickets (amateur). Thus starts a wild chase down the Hawaiian highways. Unfortunately when Tyler jumps the barrier, they crash, and he literally goes through a car. Luckily, Aubrey escaped mostly unscathed.

Steve assures Mrs. Harper that Aubrey will be tried as a minor, and the two deceived wives share meaningful eye contact across Five-0 headquarters. They’ll get through this (or something).

Hawaii Five-0, "Ka 'alapahi Nui"

In team bonding this week, the whole team goes for a five-mile run (minus Lou, who drives a golf cart instead), with Danny complaining the whole time. They’re competing in Tough Mudder for charity, a 12-mile obstacle course that looks kind of like American Ninja Warrior. Since Lou can’t participate (arthritis), he set up a training course in his yard, mud pit and all.

Post-case, the team—in their matching “Five-Ohana” team uniforms—gets a motivational speech from Lou before diving into the Tough Mudder. They finish as a team, albeit carrying a limping Danny over the finish line. Charity!

Hawaii Five-0, "Ka 'alapahi Nui"

Questions and Quotes

  • What would the killer have done if the elevator hadn’t been conveniently open when he drove into the building? Do you think he would have pressed the button …?
  • Who do you think Steve’s mysterious phone call was from? Catherine? Doris? Joe? Some random person they’ll introduce later in the season?
  • Did you know we’re supposed to get Danny/Charlie trick-or-treating next week? Are you as happy about that as I am?
  • “You know what the Shriner’s Club is, [but] you’ve never seen Top Gun?” —Steve to a suspect who really needs to sort out his priorities.
  • “If we die, they get away!” —Poor, poor Danny is tired of Steve’s driving.

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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