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5 questions that need answering from Adele's 'Hello' music video

After a hiatus that everyone can agree was entirely too long, Adele has cackled her way back to the surface and quenched the tearjerking-song thirst in everyone’s life with the release of her newest single, “Hello.” In short, it’s a life-ruiner. She calls upon a previous lover in hopes of finally sorting out what happened and apologizing for maybe not being the best girlfriend in the world. The song alone is incredible but the music video, shot by Xavier Dolan and starring The Wire‘s Tristan Wilds, only makes it better. We are not worthy.

But we’re left with a number of questions afterward—some real nail-biters that should be addressed, discussed in an open forum, and eventually, answered:

1. Do Adele’s eyelashes actually have the power to start music just by moving?

Adele eyes

There’s a good chunk of time that passes before the music actually starts. There are windows and rural shots out into a field. We even see a car that presumably has Adele in it—but the party doesn’t start until Adele opens her eyes. Some might even hypothesize that in the time that Adele has been away, her powers have strengthened so much that just the lifting of her eyelashes can start music.

2. What exactly does this do? Is this where Adele keeps her Pokemon cards?

Adele contacts

As any bored child left in an office space between the years of 1984 and 1997 knows, this is actually used to store contacts—in this case, it presumably holds the contact information of all the second-rate suitors that have vaguely assisted Adele in collecting her seven million Grammys. In this case, it appears that while this relationship was important enough to sing about for four minutes, it’s not so important that she remembers his number.

3. What’s up with all the antiquated phones?

Adele phone

I’m not sure that anyone has a landline anymore, and more specifically, I wasn’t aware that you can just waltz into an abandoned house and pick up a phone with a landline that works. But it must be possible—it happens to Adele. The video is full of antiquated phones, and if we dare to get creative, it could be because this relationship shares some qualities with telephone equipment she’s using: It’s old, outdated, and kind of confusing.

4. Can the simple tone of Adele’s voice evoke a woodland tornado?

Adele wind

In the words of another English lady, “Anything can happen,” so it’s not an absurd notion that Adele’s voice singularly caused a woodland tornado. She has, in the past, set fire to the rain which seems scientifically impossible. The biggest supporting tidbit to this theory is that even in the windiest of moments, the weather seems to be doing wonderful favors for her hair. That is likely no mistake.

5. Speaking of antiquated phones, did they maybe break up because bro uses a flip phone?

Adele window

Is he gorgeous? Yes, sure. But can you even imagine dating someone who owns a flip phone (that’s not a Razr)?

What other questions do you have? When was the last time you even saw a land line? And is this everything and more that you were hoping for from Adele?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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