Season 53 | Episodes 137–141 | Aired Oct 12–16, 2015
Are we preparing for another round of “Who’s the Daddy?” on General Hospital? First, Sabrina is hesitant to tell Michael about her pregnancy. Then she flashes back to Carlos kissing her. Throw in her offhand remark about how long it took her to realize she was pregnant. Carlos and Sabrina last saw each other in mid-May, after he killed Duke and she gave him refuge for the night. At the time, there was no implication that they hooked up, nor was the kiss she recalls visible on screen (if memory serves, it was only a hug). Sabrina and Michael first made love back at the end of June. Given soap-opera time (one day = weeks), the time frame is certainly plausible, but …
Sabrina is already a fringe character at best. Friends with Tracy and dating Michael, she has no other revealed ties to the General Hospital canvas. Carlos is a presumably dead (as much as anyone in Port Charles is ever truly dead) mob enforcer with no family in town. Michael is a legacy character with ties to nearly everyone in town. If the character of Sabrina is staying put, please let this baby be Michael’s.
Michael is by no means a perfect character, as his renewed hero worship of Sonny has proven. Hopefully Sonny’s mandate that his sons stay out of his mob business will take hold, as I’d much rather see Michael back to talking about the A.J. Quartermaine Clinic than looking like the kid accidentally sat at the grown-up five families’ table. Sonny appears to be on the road to recovery, sans feeling in his legs, as he surprises Carly with the third attempt at their fifth wedding in the hospital chapel. The less wondered about how Sonny and his recent surgical incisions got into that tuxedo, however, the better.
Sonny and Carly are wed once again, and there isn’t a dry eye in the house, although there may have been a few eye rolls from the audience. New Josslyn (Eden McCoy) may still love all things corn, but her rendition of the “Wedding March” on her recorder was certainly not the hellion child we last saw before her lengthy visit with Jax.
Lulu quickly rebuffs Dillon’s kiss and makes a beeline to tell her husband. Dante is furious, but conflicted when Lulu likens it to his “kiss” with Valerie. Dillon goes out for a stroll with Maxie, and the two stumble across a floater in the water. Police arrive and, thanks to a handy-dandy wallet, the body is identified as Carlos Rivera. If viewers recall, Sloane had Carlos’ wallet locked away with Anna’s gun in a safety-deposit box, so it’s fairly safe to assume that the decomposed body is actually Sloane’s, with a few Paul-planted items. Anna is completely unnerved, and Paul practically delights in toying with her fragile psyche. With Jordan present, Paul reveals to Anna that the autopsy results match Carlos’ dental records and that the time of death is one to two weeks ago. This sends a frazzled Anna running to Patrick for sleeping pills. And Jordan reminds Paul that autopsy results should come to her, not him. Might this be the first crack in Paul’s good-guy image? Then again, viewers have no clue as to how Paul went from reluctant mob guy to full-on criminal mastermind, so a little more detail is greatly desired.
But back to the Falconeri mess: Dante corners Dillon at the PCPD and demands he stay away from Lulu. Dillon makes it known to Dante that he is well aware of his indiscretion, but is keeping his mouth shut. Maxie, giving her “finding a dead body” statement, confronts Valerie about the unopened pregnancy test she found in the trash. And Valerie rightly rips into her for jumping to conclusions. Seriously folks, the test was still in the box, in the trash, in a somewhat public room. Maxie fills Nathan and his unbuttoned shirt in on the Lulu-Dillon situation. Maxie thinks Nathan should now share his secret, but he rightly points out that Maxie pretty much proved that she can’t keep her mouth shut, especially where Lulu is concerned. Meanwhile, Lulu has moved on from the Dillon kiss and meets with the fertility doctor about giving Rocco a sibling.
Drunk Kiki gets her time to shine, as she sees Morgan and Ava chatting at the Floating Rib. First she blasts Ava for leaving her newly acquired offspring with a babysitter in an unfamiliar home (fair point). After ordering a drink to throw in Ava’s face, Kiki is cut off by the bartender. So Kiki goes to snag the bottle from behind the bar, breaking it and injuring the bartender. Kiki’s shenanigans get her arrested, putting a snag in Franco and Nina’s planned sexy time. Franco tries to get Kiki released from the drunk tank, but she’s being held for assault. Nina steps in and pays off the bartender and gets the charges dropped. Franco is grateful, but a skittish Nina puts the kibosh on sex for the night and requests raincheck. Franco promises Nina that when it eventually rains for them, it will pour. Let’s take a moment so you can all grab some bleach to clean that image from your collective minds.
Olivia stuns Dante with her adopted-baby scheme, and he wonders if it’s really plausible enough to work. And while Julian may have lost enough brain cells to buy the story, Alexis is clearly skeptical from word one. Alexis queries Olivia on all things adoption-related and doesn’t appear pacified by the vague answers she receives.
The Jake-is-Jason reveal continues to trudge along at its glacial pace. Despite a sprained ankle, Sam, Jakeson, and the flash drive are able to sneak back out of Wyndemere unseen. Seriously, where did they dock their boat? Of course, the files are encrypted, so Sam calls her secret weapon into town. Spinelli arrives and takes mere moments to find out that Nikolas ordered a DNA test on Jakeson some months back. Sam suggests that Spinelli hack into the DNA lab to find out who Jakeson’s DNA was tested against, but Spinelli’s newfound moral compass of fatherhood gives him role-model pause … for about three seconds, as the Fair Samantha talks him into it. Spinelli continues to note how much Jakeson reminds him of Jason, as nobody puts the pieces together or even questions the idea. They’re all going to feel pretty stupid when the truth comes out.
Hayden continues to not let on that she overheard Nikolas and Laura talking. Hayden pushes Nikolas to tell her why he was so angry, but otherwise plays her cards close to the vest. She goes to GH for some tests, leaving Nikolas outside as Patrick tells her there is no medical reason that her memories haven’t returned. Elizabeth keeps Hayden in the exam room after Patrick leaves and confronts her, assuming the memory loss is a convenient lie. The two women don’t come to blows, but the tension is palpable, as Elizabeth’s focus on covering her own butt becomes more and more desperate. Outside, Nikolas asks Patrick about Hayden’s condition, and Patrick breaks every HIPAA law as he says that he expects her memories to return. Back at Wyndemere, Jakeson storms in and demands answers from Nikolas about the DNA test.
It’s really a race to the finish line as to who will reveal that Jake is Jason, isn’t it? Whom do you think the truth will come from?