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'Criminal Minds' fan recap: The tale of the bloody brides

Season 11 | Episode 3 | “Til Death Do Us Part” | Aired Oct 14, 2015

Wedding engagements are socially tricky things. For every Facebook “Like” and excited comment, there’s somebody in the background scowling at your good fortune. But in this week’s Criminal Minds, the seed of jealousy blossoms into full-blown rage from an unsub you’d never, ever expect.

We open in a Savannah flower shop. A group of bridesmaids walk in and immediately get chatted up by Ryan, a wedding photographer. As his lady friend, Nicole, looks on, the group playfully ask him to come to their bachelorette party.

Morgan and Dallas Cowboys great Michael Irving talk NFL Play 60 in season 11, episode 3 of Criminal Minds.

After blatant Play 60 product placement with Dallas Cowboys great Michael Irving and Morgan, Hotch asks for a status update on Montolo, the hitman from the season premiere. Garcia is no closer to finding the Dirty Dozen victim list and is panicked about it. Nice to see this story thread moving forward.

The case
A pair of brides-to-be have been found dead with their bachelorette-party sashes wrapped around their heads. The team makes some guesses as to the unsub’s motive, but one thing is clear: This killer hates marriage.

We then cut to the aforementioned crew of bachelorettes partying it up. After hitting a round of shots, the bride-to-be walks outside, and BAM! She’s startled by a rambling homeless man. And then she’s hit by a lead pipe moments later. Introducing victim number three!

On their way to Georgia, Garcia gives the BAU the latest news. A third bridal victim, Madison, has been reported missing. The last person to see her was a fellow bridesmaid, Kelly. Despite some promising leads thanks to some classic Criminal Minds visualization, the team has theories, but no strong leads.

Madison and her bridal party share one last drink in season 11, episode 3 of Criminal Minds.

Back at the flower shop, we’re introduced to Dana, Nicole’s sister and fellow florist. Dana clearly has feelings for Ryan, but it doesn’t look like he sees her as more than a friend. But when Ryan leaves and Dana starts talking to herself, it’s clear she has a problem. She has herself a Mental Ryan! In her mind, Ryan loves her deeply and wants nothing more than to be with her.

Mental Ryan leads Dana downstairs to where Madison, our missing bride-to-be, is strapped to a table. Mental Ryan tells Dana that Madison is in the way of their love and she has to be “taken care of.” Dana grabs the sash and finishes her off. He have ourselves an unsub!

The profile
The team finds Madison dumped by a tree in plain view with the word “SLUT” written on her forehead. No attempt to cover up the killing has been found. Connecting the dots between the nonsexual nature of the crime and the language used on Madison’s head, Tara has a breakthrough. The unsub is a female.

Madison

Profile time! Our unsub is a thirtysomething white woman who looks nonthreatening but is probably large in size and very strong. Since all of the murders were wedding-related, they should be targeting people who have recently visited wedding vendors. She may be making a statement about the nature of marriage and is probably fueled by jealousy.

Like clockwork, we cut to Dana in her dingy room, fantasizing about Ryan and his never-ending love for her. Without warning, Nicole walks in and breaks her daydream. She’s concerned about Dana and asks if she’s been taking her meds. Dana politely says she doesn’t need them, and Nicole drops the subject. This prompted me to tweet the following:

Just saying …

The ramp-up
With flying fingers and clever quips, Garcia comes up empty on her initial unsub search. But Tara has a thought: What if our unsub is actually a vendor herself? A parade of happy brides could easily push her over the edge.

And why does Tara know so much about wedding vendors? She’s engaged herself. Morgan calls her out on her missing engagement ring, but Tara plays it down. She says she’s in a happy place with her fiancé, but something doesn’t seem right. Maybe we’ll find out more in another episode.

Rossi and Tara talk unsubs in season 11, episode 3 or Criminal Minds.

But everything seems to be on the up and up when Ryan invites Nicole and Dana out to a “special dinner.” Mental Ryan has already told Dana that he plans on publicly proclaiming their love that evening—but we all know what’s really going down. At dinner, Real Ryan pulls out a ring and proposes to Nicole. Dana is pissed!

The closing-in
Back at the BAU, the team adds up the pieces just in time. Garcia’s computer magic leads them to Ryan and Nicole, but there’s no way Nicole could be the killer. She’s nowhere near strong enough. But guess who is … Dana!

Meanwhile, Dana’s Mental Ryan is trying to convince her that Nicole tricked him into proposing. The solution? Kill Nicole. Dana tries to resist, but Mental Ryan’s powers of persuasion are too strong.

Garcia works through the digital evidence in season 11, episode 3 of Criminal Minds.

With an unsub to track, the team speeds to the floral shop to arrest Dana. Nicole’s social media shows that she just got engaged, and they realize she has to be Dana’s next target. When they arrive, they find the shop empty. After looking through Dana’s obsessed writings and registry gifts she bought herself, Reid discovers the only place she could be: the shop’s off-site greenhouse.

At the greenhouse, Dana confronts Nicole and after yelling about Ryan’s love for her, smacks her with a shovel. In no time, Nicole is tied-up, and Dana is dressed in a wedding gown. It’s time for her and Mental Ryan to get hitched.

But things get even weirder when Real Ryan walks in and breaks Dana’s delusion. She panics, grabs a knife, and threatens to kill Nicole. Things are getting out of hand when the BAU arrives and, in classic Criminal Minds fashion, uses Dana’s delusion to talk her down. Nicole fake apologizes, Ryan fake says he loves her, and Dana is perfectly satisfied, even as Hotch leads her away to jail. It’s one of those episodes where the unsub is equal parts sad and terrifying. Episode three is a touching yet scary glimpse into delusion and obsession.

Criminal Minds airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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