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'General Hospital' fan recap: Overhearing and observing

Season 53 | Episodes 132–136 | Aired Oct 5–9, 2015

It’s time for General Hospital to retire the plot device of overheard information. No fewer than five scenes this week involved people overhearing other people’s conversations. Michael overheard Sabrina on the phone. Tracy overheard Paul on the phone. Hayden overheard Laura and Nikolas. Little Jake overheard Laura and Elizabeth. And Dillon overheard Valerie and Dante. Of those, only Hayden walked away with truly accurate information; that’s assuming Little Jake might be a little young to comprehend what he heard.

Back in town, Laura learns of Patrick and Sam’s engagement, as well as Jakeson and Elizabeth’s. Laura quickly makes her way to Nikolas’, only to catch him in a lip lock with Hayden. Laura is surprised to learn that Hayden is not only awake, but cohabitating with her son. Sending Hayden out of the room, Laura lays into Nikolas for keeping the Jason secret, but also reveals Elizabeth’s theory that Nikolas is responsible for Hayden’s shooting. Nikolas tells Laura to let it all go, but that may not be so easy now that Hayden (easily) overhears their entire conversation. Naturally, Jakeson shows up right then, but he is not privy to the eavesdropping.

Jakeson is there because Hayden called Elizabeth to inquire about the vase memory, and Jakeson wants to make sure she leaves his fiancée alone. Laura is more interested in Jakeson’s upcoming wedding, wondering how he can proceed without knowing his real identity. She asks how he can make a lifelong commitment to Elizabeth, pushing that he should want to know his real history. Laura actually gets her point across, as Jake hires Sam to help uncover his past. The time frame? Find out who he is before his and Elizabeth’s November 6 wedding.

Luckily, Hayden doesn’t let Nikolas know about her newfound knowledge, instead opting to ask Nikolas out and plan some sexy time … or so she intimates. Based on Hayden’s preexisting personality traits, it’s a fair bet that she has a larger game plan at play. The timing of their outing is perfect, as it allows Jakeson and Sam to sneak over to Wyndemere to do some sleuthing. Although how does one sneak to a house only accessible by boat? Once there, Jakeson and Sam seek out Nikolas’ computer, but are interrupted by an early return home by Nikolas and Hayden. Somehow the investigating duo climb onto the second floor, to Nikolas’ office, to download the computer contents on a Spinelli-enabled flash drive. Once again, they are interrupted by Nikolas and Hayden, who are opting for some desk sex. Yes, it is just as convoluted as it sounds.

Laura makes her way to Elizabeth’s, finding the lying bride-to-be trying on veils. Laura warns Elizabeth that her desire to finally have Jason is clouding her judgment (ya think?). What if Jakeson remembers who he is, all on his own? The conversation doesn’t go much further, as the rarely seen Little Jake comes home with a huge cut over his eye and a story about falling down. Laura asks how Jake is readjusting after Cassadine Island, suggesting maybe he could use some counseling. Shockingly, given her medical background, Elizabeth is dismissive of the idea. Seriously, how is Little Jake not already in therapy? Instead, Elizabeth swivels the talk back to Jakeson, saying he doesn’t care about his previous life, and neither does she. Adding that Jakeson is Little Jake’s father, Elizabeth is oblivious to her son listening from the staircase.

Sonny awakens from his embolism surgery to bring us the soap-opera cliché of partial paralysis. Yup, Sonny can’t feel his legs. Patrick advises that it may be temporary, but Sonny instantly wallows in self-pity, opting not to marry Carly if he’s not a “whole man.” However, Sonny’s mind is quickly changed when he runs into Ava with Avery, learns Ava has temporary custody, and makes some veiled threats to his baby mama. Sonny is now ready to marry Carly as quickly as possible.

Clearly not thinking of marriage (yet) is Sabrina, who is suddenly finding the food at the Floating Rib to be nauseating. Felix recognizes the morning sickness, prompting Sabrina to head out to buy a pregnancy test. At Kelly’s, she chats on the phone with Felix, but is overheard by Michael. Michael assumes it’s a pregnant patient, which is odd since Sabrina doesn’t currently work as a nurse. Sabrina ends up with Valerie’s licorice instead of her pregnancy test (more in a bit), but in between licorice chomps she takes a multitude of tests, all of which confirm she is 100 percent pregnant with Michael’s baby.

But Michael is a little busy, as Tracy is all up in his business over his newfound reconnection to Sonny. Tracy enlists Paul to try to dissuade Michael from becoming further immersed in the Corinthos family, but it backfires and only makes Michael more determined to put his best Corinthos foot forward. Michael and Tracy exchange words, and Sabrina doesn’t interrupt the two to announce her condition. Might she have doubts about bringing a baby into Michael’s new mob-infested life?

Dillon and Valerie’s taped confessional remains under wraps for now, as the major players manage to make the situation messier all on their own. After Dillon lashes out (Christian Bale–style) at Lulu for interrupting them shooting a scene, Maxie quickly spills the secret to her bestie of Dillon’s not-so-secret-feelings. Meanwhile, Nathan stumbles across Sabrina’s pregnancy test and assumes it is Valerie’s, and tells Dante of his findings. Dante corners Valerie, who is dumbfounded and insists she isn’t pregnant, but a nearby Dillon doesn’t hear that information. Valerie tosses the unopened pregnancy test in the garbage, only for Maxie to discover it. Dillon makes his way back to the Haunted Star, ready to tell Lulu about Valerie and Dante, but Lulu confronts him about his feelings for her. Lulu is adamant that his crush is one-sided, so Dillon grabs her and kisses her. Let’s hope that kiss is not viewed as romantic by either side, as it was so aggressive it bordered on assault.

Franco and Nina are surprised to find drunk Kiki at the Floating Rib, but not as surprised as Nina when Franco suggests she buy Kiki’s murder abode and let Kiki live with them. Neither Kiki nor Nina are keen on the idea, as they pretty much hate each other. But after running into Ava, Kiki softens to the idea of having to slightly psychotic people as family, rather than the one she was born into. If Nina has all this money now, couldn’t they at least buy a place that doesn’t have bloodstains in the hardwood floors?

And in happy-couple news, Julian and Alexis agree to move in together, just as Paul drops all the charges against Julian. At the Metro Court, Julian runs into Olivia, who has moved back to Port Charles full-time, with baby Leo in tow. Julian wonders who the baby is, and Olivia spins a massive yarn about adopting a church baby named Mateo, despite the fact that he is swaddled in a blanket imprinted with the name Leo. Olivia is seriously the worst liar on the show, but Julian appears to be the most gullible resident, as he doesn’t question her tall tale. Do you think Olivia filled Dante in on her whopper of a story, or will he inadvertently spill the beans to Julian?

Finally, it’s impossible not to feel heart flutters for poor little Emma Drake. For Robin’s birthday, she makes her absentee mommy a necklace, asking Anna about her birth. Anna leaves out the whole postpartum-baby-in-a-tree incident, just assuring her how much her mother loves her. And both Anna and Sam promise Emma that Sam and Patrick’s wedding won’t be derailed by a back-from-the-dead spouse, like his wedding to Sabrina. Out of the mouths of babes, right?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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