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'Dominion' fan recap: Welcome to your nightmare

Season 2 | Episode 11 | “Bewilderment of the Heart” | Aired Sep 17, 2015

Previously:– All you really have to know is that Gabriel chucked the open amphora (Amphorae? Spelling differs. Can I get a ruling from the judges?) into the middle of Vega. Uh-oh.

Ooh, do I love an alternate timeline/mirror universe/”What if?” episode! Not only was “Bewilderment of the Heart” the best episode of Dominion‘s second season, but it was the best episode of Dominion ever! In the heart of every human, there are regrets, rueing of days, and recurring terrors. Gabriel’s amphorae attack brought everyone’s darkest nightmares and secrets to the light. Well, no, more to the dark, I guess? Anyway, it was bad.

As the black cloud of evil Bible stuff wafted through the city, everything went kablooey. In Vega’s central command … let me pause here by asking you how many times you’ve read someone describing chaos as “all hell broke loose?” Too many times, right? Well, this time it SO fits that I have to use it. ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE IN VEGA’S CENTRAL COMMAND. All of Claire’s soldiers and staff begin either attacking each other or killing themselves in a brutally choreographed sequence that was reminiscent of that one rather revolting yet exhilarating scene from Kingsmen: The Secret Service. You know, where Colin Firth decimated that church? Our heroes manage to avoid being killed by Lady Riesen’s staff, but just wait until the vase mojo gets in their heads. Let’s break it down by individual nightmare, shall we?

Claire flees the command, and escapes back to her penthouse. There’s a baby crying. Claire breaks some glass to enter the locked nursery. A beautiful baby girl (“Willow?” Did she name her “Willow?” Yay, Buffy reference.) is awaiting her in her crib. This is mean, making Claire see her miscarried child as alive. That amphora is one evil tchotchke. Despite her fantasy of living happily ever after with Alex and child, recurring images of blood keep popping up. This isn’t beneficial because everyone in Claire’s gut-wrencher is wearing white. You know how hard it is getting blood out! After Alex manages to destroy the amphora in real time (spoiler alert, sorry), Claire comes to. She realizes that her baby is still dead. All that remains is the bloody hole in the glass she made to get into the nursery. We leave her passed out from blood loss. CLAIRE, DON’T GO.

Arika gets a replay of the time she trained the eight-ball to frame David for … having interspecies eight-ball/human sex? Hey, that doesn’t play in Vega. Unfortunately, in this version, SHE’S the eight-ball. And poor, dead, shot-in-the-head Rose is her now human torturer. It’s one of those showing-up-late-for-class-in-your-underwear dreams, except in this one, you’re naked and being treated like an animal. We also learn that Arika’s mom was mentally ill and abusive and eventually institutionalized. By the way, don’t ever torture an eight-ball into committing your dirty work for you. They’re really, really mad about it when they pop up later in magically induced hallucinations.

A hallucination of Claire appears to William

William Wiele wins for “Most Emotionally Damaging Hallucination” in this ep. His nightmare is basically most of the cast appearing to him to tell him that he’s lame, a loser, a nobody, not the Chosen One, and that his beard is stringy and unkempt. Remember when he and Claire were forced into an arranged marriage? She shows up as his wife, turned into an eight-ball. As Claire and a punk-rock version of Gabriel demonstrate, becoming an eight-ball really adds volume to your hair. The worst is when a really bitchy version of Alex appears to laugh at Willy’s self-styled “Chosen One” scars and makes him confess to being a fake and a failure. Ouch. Dude had an easier time when Dad dropped him off in the desert to die.

Speaking of Dad, David Wiele is faced with an eight-ball version of himself. Complete with ponytail! That IS a nightmare. This version of David is running Vega. He gleefully reminds David what a complete ass he is by running down all the terrible things he’s done over two seasons. And he doesn’t even mention the time David offed that little girl in the hospital! Shouldn’t that have topped the list? David blames it all on losing his family to eight-balls, but demon David is all WAH WAH WAH, we’ve heard it before, Giles! David admits he blames Willy for alerting eight-balls to their presence and dooming his family. Uh, he was a kid? Kids cry loudly? Thanks, Dad. Eight-ball David has had enough and goes to kill regular David. He awakens at the Vega gallows, unhanged for his crimes and surrounded by dead guards.

Michael, Alex, and Noma fight their way through the city to try to stop the amphora. Noma imagines her wings have been returned to her, and she finds and zealously guards the amphora so she doesn’t have to lose them again. Alex imagines Michael pronouncing him a crappy Chosen One and relieving him of his magic tattoos. Michael has it rough. He is repeatedly slapped with visions of Alex’s death. First Noma murders Alex in front of him (Kim Englebrecht is really good as a villain), then Alex blows his own head off. Did Michael get saddled with Gabriel’s vision ‘cuz Gabe is already amphora-ed? That sucks when the amphora hits you with a two-fer.

The trio reunites, crazed with hallucinations, and Noma and Michael battle over the vase. Alex manages to use his still very present tats to destroy the accursed knickknack. And all is well!

Not quite. Gabriel is still hanging out on the city wall, annoyed that the amphora’s effects didn’t last very long and still determined to kill his twin brother. Next week we’re getting a fight to the death with wings, and swords, and hopefully Gates shows up. In a wrestling singlet. Hey, a recapper can dream!

Dominion airs Thursdays at 10/9C on Syfy.

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " data-url-fragment="outbrain"> <div 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