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'Hemlock Grove': Our final-season wish list

With a wait that at times rivaled the collective breath-holding for The Green Inferno, Eli Roth’s other long-awaited horror project, Netflix finally put Hemlock Grove fans out of their misery by setting the concluding season’s premiere date. On October 23, the final season will drop. Fans will again be privy to the delightfully campy and grotesque happenings in that small Pennsylvania town.

Given the show’s penchant for non-sequitur storytelling and shock revelations, anything can, and likely will, happen. Here’s my list of the top five things I’d like to see go down in season three:

Answers—we need answers!

Never let it be said that Eli Roth and company don’t know how to deliver a jaw-dropping finale. When last we left the cursed inhabitants of Hemlock Grove, the Order of the Dragon had been successfully massacred and peace had seemingly come to the small town. But the moment Dr. Spivak, the town’s friendly pediatrician, traded in his Dr. Huxtable sweater for a monotone ensemble, it was clear things were about to get real.

And real they became, as the man shapeshifted into a flying dragon and absconded with Nadia, Roman’s baby, and Miranda, she of the leaking blood breastmilk. Clearly, fans are going to require some answers. While the growing mysteries swirling around the characters these past two seasons have been wildly entertaining, the time has come to finally receive some resolutions on more than a few fronts.

Lots of explicit gore!

Vomit scenes? Check. Splayed and maggot-ridden corpses? Double check. While much is made of Hannibal‘s explicit gore factor, the amount of cringeworthy visuals on Hemlock Grove hasn’t received its due. From Peter’s skin-ripping transformation to the up-close-and-personal look at some poor victim’s entrails, the show excels at creating shock gags that leave audiences cringing while simultaneously reaching to rewind a scene, because you just can’t believe that the show went there. Here’s hoping that the last season of Hemlock Grove embraces the carnage and splatter of Eli Roth’s bigger-budget fare and leaves us gagging.

More twisty gothic-style romance, aka bring back Letha!

Gothic horror has a long and somewhat disturbing history of finding romanticism in perverse pairings. For Hemlock Grove fans, the questionable relationship between cousins Letha and Roman Godfrey initially had a very Flowers in the Attic-y vibe to it. Roman’s rape and subsequent impregnation of Letha left a lot of unanswered questions—specifically, whether Roman was aware of his actions (he did have a history of staring longingly at Letha) or whether he was fully under the control of his mother, Olivia.

Okay, yes, Letha is currently dead. But surely a show that has no problem showing the ins and outs of organ harvesting could find a workaround. Besides, the potentially incestuous undertones between Olivia and Roman would take on a whole other level of disturbing if Letha, the woman Roman continually chose over Olivia, were to make reappearance.

More classic horror homages!

Watching Hemlock Grove as a horror fan is akin to having membership in a super-swanky club. Eli Roth’s ridiculously encyclopedic knowledge of the genre often translates into tributes to films recognizable by horror devotees. These homages are sometimes obvious, such as the Psycho shoutout in “A New Girl in Town.” At other times they’re obscure, such as the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nod to A Clockwork Orange in “Such Dire Stuff.”

These moments not only pay homage to the films that inspired them, but also to the fans who love them. Besides, if there isn’t at least one nod to Roth’s own work, I will be severely disappointed … because who doesn’t love cannibals?

Bring on the gypsies!

If season one was an examination of the show’s mythology, season two was an amped-up view of the dynamics between the characters. Because the show has so many rich characters, not all have been explored as fully as audiences would like. One case in point is Destiny, Peter’s cousin. There is so much rich backstory to mine from their shared gypsy lineage that it would be a crime not to find out more about the Rumancek clan. For starters, not nearly enough is known about the possibly demonic lineage that connects the Rumanceks and the Godfreys. Plus, Tiio Horn is insanely charismatic and has not received nearly enough screen time, so here’s hoping season three delves further into gypsy life than just focusing on their criminal activity.

So that’s what I’m hoping for in Hemlock Grove‘s final season. Leave us a comment below and let us know what you are most looking forward to seeing in the show’s swan-song season!

Hemlock Grove‘s final season airs on October 23 on Netflix.

TV Families | EW.com
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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<div class="article-content"> <!-- Author and Date --> <div class="author no-avatar scale-12 padded margin-24-tb clearfix" > <div class="author-text" data-tracking-zone="author"> <div class="author-list-item"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> </div> <div class="timestamp published-date"> April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix" data-tracking-zone="body"> <div class="padded"> <div class="letter-grade grade-only"> <span class="letter-grade-shape"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> <div id="karma-lazy-seriesDetails"></div> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="https://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="div-gpt-leaderboard-fixed-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="728x90" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div id="div-gpt-mob-square-flex-1" data-tier="3" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad karma-ad" data-dimensions="300x250" role="complementary" aria-hidden="true"></div> 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