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'General Hospital' fan recap: What would Sonny do?

Season 53 | Episodes 113–116 | Aired Sep 8-11, 2015

Raise your hand if you really, truly believe General Hospital would kill off Sonny Corinthos. Now that we’ve all agreed Sonny is going to survive his gunshot wound to the chest (as opposed to the ever-popular no-big-deal shoulder wound), it’s time to discuss the fallout from Sonny’s newest crisis.

As poor as her timing may have been, Maxie was fairly spot-on in her conversation/warning to Sabrina. Trying to list all of the people in Sonny’s orbit who have been in harm’s way would be endless, but Carly, Olivia, Michael, and Dante quickly spring to mind as gunshot victims. Sabrina may have found love with Michael Quartermaine, but his legacy as Michael Corinthos III definitely lingers.

Hearing the gunshot certainly brought out the Jason Morgan persona in Jakeson. Immediately springing into action, Jakeson runs into the warehouse, disarms one of the goons, and takes all three of the men down faster than you can say Charlie’s Angels. Sam, ignoring Jakeson’s direction to stay put, follows onto the scene and calls 911. Jakeson tends to a heavily bleeding Sonny, putting pressure on the bullet wound. Sonny, in awesome The Godfather style, pulls Jakeson by the shirt and tells him to tell Carly he loves her. Sonny mumbles that he knew Jakeson would come, much to Jakeson’s confusion.

As Sam rides with Sonny to the hospital, Jakeson delivers the news to Carly and the assembled wedding guests. The family rushes to the hospital, where Patrick gravely informs them that the bullet is lodged near Sonny’s spine and if he lives, there’s a high chance of paralysis. Carly begs Patrick to help Sonny, Michael arranges extra security, and Morgan melts down. Jakeson intervenes to calm Morgan, asking him what Sonny would do in this situation. Morgan’s apple doesn’t fall too far from the family tree, as he leaves to cool off.

Ric shows up, frantic about Sonny’s condition, but doesn’t choose the best way to convey his concern. Everyone blasts Ric for Charlie’s release from jail, despite Ric’s stance that Lomax ordered Charlie freed in exchange for his testimony against Julian. Ric would have been best served to keep quiet, but instead he asserts himself as Sonny’s next of kin, since Carly hadn’t yet married Sonny and Michael denounced Sonny as his father. But proving Corinthos is still a driving force, Michael swiftly has Ric removed from the waiting area. At Carly’s urging, Michael goes to Sonny’s bedside, telling his adoptive father that he loves him.

Dante finds Julian, fresh from an Ava visit, at the PCPD, and immediately starts grilling him about the shooting. If Julian is actually innocent, his flip attitude earns him no points with Dante. Having learned about Julian and Olivia’s encounter on the pier, Lulu runs to the station to inform her husband. Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Olivia, the one who actually saw Julian in the vicinity of the crime scene, to have gone? Of course, just as Julian is being interrogated, Morgan arrives and completely loses his temper, attacking Julian. Morgan is restrained and returns to the hospital. He stands at his father’s bedside, first pledging to make Julian pay, then vowing to kill Julian. Hopefully Morgan uses Julian’s own words and actually kills him via his intense pouting skills.

Sam and Jakeson share a moment back at the pier, where Jakeson acknowledges that he killed three men and isn’t bothered by the bloodshed. Sam realizes they’re standing where Jason died, but credits her “late” husband for helping her not to live in what-ifs. At the hospital, Patrick has a hard time reconciling that Sam has tendencies to run toward bullets instead of away from them. Sam acknowledges her past, but doesn’t miss living in fear like Carly is now. A blood-soaked Jakeson returns home to Elizabeth, who is stunned by news of the shooting. Jakeson wonders what Sonny meant by knowing “he’d come,” and Elizabeth, rattled, tells Jakeson she has something to tell him. Hmm … wonder what interruption will keep her from coming clean this time?

Also shaken by news of the shooting is Jordan, who considers this the fruition of all of her warnings to T.J. about being too close to Sonny. But T.J. chooses not to see the hazards of associating with a known mob boss, focusing on Sonny paying for his tuition, giving him a place to live, and saving his life. Of course, his life wouldn’t have been in jeopardy if he wasn’t in Sonny’s orbit. Jordan is overwhelmed and starts to cry on Anna’s shoulder. However, Anna has her own problems, as Sloane has reneged on his word to turn in Nikolas for election fraud, and is now blackmailing Anna for killing Carlos.

Sloane also opts to try to leverage the fraudulent election over Nikolas for more money, but Nikolas laughs right in his face. Nikolas is already paying Sloane and doesn’t think covering for him after he spilled the beans to Anna warrants a raise. Hayden is privy to all the conversations, but is more interested in flirting with Nikolas than actually trying to sort out her memories.

What will next week bring? With our presumption of Sonny’s survival, will he be paralyzed? Will Valerie’s one-off line, pre-wedding, about not feeling well lead to a non-surprising pregnancy? With Paul’s divorce signed off on, are he and Tracy on the road to reconciliation? And if Julian isn’t behind the hijackings and Sonny’s shooting, who is the culprit?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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