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The 'Scream' killer, unmasked

Season 1 | Episode 10 | “Revelations” | Aired Sep 1, 2015

“Horror films don’t create fear. They release it.” —Wes Craven

Audrey & Piper

After being on tenterhooks for weeks wondering who was behind the Scream mask, we finally got our answer—Piper, backed by Audrey—and it was both gratifying and disappointing. Thankfully, the pros far outweigh the cons. While certain “Revelations” were made, we’re still left with a box full of secrets that set the perfect hook for season two. Here, in reverse order, is the good, the bad, and the ugly of the finale.

THE UGLY

Poor Clark met a gut-wrenching end. Not only did Maggie lose her sheriff boyfriend, she literally cut the ties that bind … as in, the ropes that held his insides together!

Maggie’s carved heart necklace didn’t just silence that poor lamb, it made me gag, watching it being pulled and pulled and pulled from the cop’s throat. Bleh.

THE BAD

Much as I like being right, and even enjoy the idea of two femme fatales at the helm of the slasher story, I felt disappointed that it was Piper. It was just too obvious that she was Brandon’s child. I wanted it to be something far slier. I needed a twist. On top of that, Piper’s killer confession left me cold and unmoved. “Hey, Sis. Surprise.” #mindnotsoblown

Amelia Rose Blaire by Brad E Young

As for her motive, that was totally predictable too. Brooke wasn’t the only one having a pity party. Wah, wah, Emma had the perfect life and I was given up for adoption. We can only assume the family who got her must have sucked. I was really hoping for something smarter in the reveal.

Then they have the audacity to say they can’t find her body. Really? Let’s not make this Friday the 13th. Didn’t Emma shoot her point-blank in the head? I do not want a “maybe Piper didn’t die and she’s come back” scenario next season. (Dear Scream writers, please put me on your team! )

THE GOOD

We saw a tender change in Jake after he ditched the dumb bunny and made himself vulnerable to Brooke. Then the guy went and saved her life. Friend. Hero. Boyfriend? Season two will reveal whether the man I previously dubbed a meathead can maintain his morals.

Edge-of-your-seat, nail-biting, genuine fear. We haven’t seen palpable tension like this since episode one. My nerves were frayed, and I loved every minute of it. This kind of panic-inducing pacing is something they need to concentrate harder on next year. We need more than bookend intensity.

I wrote my own ode to the Scream films in preparation for this finale, and I was thrilled to see this episode do the same. The “What is this, 1996?” quip at Brooke’s mention of a landline. Noah’s jittery recitation of the rules before he searched for the killer on his own: “But in observation of this loaded moment, I’m not in favor of splitting up, nor am I three days from retiring. I will not be right back!” And Emma’s final (and literal) shot, “They always come back.” Kudos and thanks to the writers for those perfect tie-ins.

Audrey will be back for season two, and she’s got some heavy secrets under lock and key that just beg to be revealed. She was obviously corresponding with Piper for quite some time, and she was the one who stole the police files and mask. Why? I theorized that she wanted revenge on Emma for dumping her for the popular crowd, but is there more to her slaying streak than that? Will she continue the killing spree next season, or does she like where she is now with her friends and would rather forget she was ever involved?

Noah Quotes ScreamLast but most certainly not least, the best thing about the episode was … Noah Freakin’ Foster. From his jumpy jokes to his ear- and side-splitting shriek, he stole the show, then wrapped it up in an insightful, poignant podcast that made us want season two NOW. I am beyond relieved that my favorite character wasn’t killed, as he centers the show with his brilliant humor. I just don’t know how Bex Taylor-Klaus kept a straight face when John Karna gave that squirelly scream in her face. Karna, you’re a card, and I adore you.

But just as Noah ended on a question, so too will I. Knowing his penchant for killer stories and his questioning nature, how long until he starts seeking out the missing pieces and suspecting his best friend?

Body Count

4. The cop: throat slit, Clark: disemboweled, Grayson: stabbed, and, presumably, Piper: shot twice.

Overall Total Deaths

9 tallys

Until 2016, stay away from Wren Lake.

What did you think of the finale? Any predictions for season two?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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