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A killer pas de deux: Predictions for the 'Scream' finale

Season 1 | Episode 9 | “The Dance” | Aired Aug 25, 2015

If you were to assign a style to “The Dance,” it would have to be pogo—because Emma bounced back hella fast. Last week’s Scream had the girl practically catatonic, and tonight she’s getting her Mia Wallace on and kissing Kieran before Will’s killer has even been officially charged. Brr, baby. I get that our beleaguered heroine is super-psyched to believe Sheriff Hudson has the murderer behind bars, but still.

Hello, Emma


Besides, are we really to believe Seth Palmer/Branson is the big bad? The more the show pushes, nay, shoves, the viewer into focusing on a specific suspect, the less likely I am to buy him being the masked one.

In truth, I’m still inclined to believe there are two perps. A killer pas de deux? At the top of my suspect list is Audrey. I think the first two deaths were likely at her hands or command, if no others. Perhaps slayer No. 2 discovered she murdered Nina and Tyler, then blackmailed her into compliance … or at least into covering up his subsequent kills. Or maybe she has a killer quid pro quo pact with someone else. You know, the whole “enemy of my enemy is my friend” thing?

If you think about it, Audrey has ample reason to want to harm Emma: first, for abandoning their friendship for the popular kids, and then for her part in the cyberbullying. Audrey may even be using her new best friend’s sleuthing skills as a way of staying two steps ahead, either by steering the story she’s creating into Noah’s “rules,” or by taking his theories and going in the opposite direction.

As for killer No. 2, I still think we’re likely dealing with a familial relationship—Troy or Brandon’s child. Do I think Kieran is said child? What did I say about being shoved in one direction? We have no proof that Piper actually went back to Mrs. James’ house with pictures from the vigil and got his name from the old lady. Plus, Audrey is waving his suspect card around too. That’s two shoves. Could they be aligned? Two female serial killers would certainly break the mold.

As for Seth being Brandon’s son, Emma practically spoonfed his name to the senile old lady. Don’t you think she’d agree to most any suggestion? Niall? Harry? Liam? Michael Myers? Yet I know theorists have jumped on Seth’s “Branson” alter ego as “Bran’s son.” Either that’s a smart red herring, or he picked the name as an homage. I see him as being too old to be Maggie’s child, but the perfect age to be Troy. Perhaps Brandon’s brother and son are working together? Or Troy is taking revenge on his nephew’s behalf, feeling he was robbed of knowing his father and of having a life with his brother. Then, too, maybe we’re being misled into believing Maggie’s child is a boy when we’re really looking for a girl and Branson is just a random name.

Probably my favorite theory is that the child we’re looking for isn’t even Brandon’s, but that of one of his victims. That point of view could still point to Piper, since her father was murdered while she was very young. I personally love this twist.

Bicurious & the virginFinally, I’m still not ruling out dear, sweet, goofy Noah. Lord knows I want him back for season two! But what if he’s directing the story? Is the smart, unassuming kid with a passion for serial killers putting on the false charm of Ted Bundy? Did he and Troy strike up a fearsome friendship when they emailed back and forth over Noah’s nature-or-nuture school paper? Did Troy tell him about Brandon’s child? Smart as Noah is with all his hacking skills, I have never bought for one moment that he didn’t know Maggie was Daisy.

The biggest, most horrific twist would be for he and Audrey to be the “unholy alliance.” What if their theorizing was more storytelling, window dressing for everyone else’s benefit, theatrical misdirection? Are they besties in blood?

What I don’t believe is that Brooke, Jake, Emma, or Maggie have anything to do with the murders. I just haven’t seen anything point to motive. Neither is my focus on the sheriff. What I don’t want to see, and what would put me off the story, is if the killer is someone who’s remained offscreen (ahem, Emma’s dad), or if the motive is something from left field. I want to be able to rewatch the series and see the groundwork from the start.

Next week should tell us … at least part of the story, anyhow. The finale promises to reveal the killer, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be caught. Knowing we’re going into season two with the same cast means we’re not likely to get the whole story. Will the viewer be the only one privy to the unmasked? Or will Emma learn who her tormentor is? If there’s more than one killer, will only one be outed? Will we be left with life-or-death cliffhangers? Tuesday can’t get here fast enough.

Are you excited too? Who is at the top of your suspect list, and what predictions do you make for the finale?

Body Count


Overall Total Deaths

five tallys

Check back next week to dissect the finale. ‘Til then, always look behind yourself, and don’t go to Brooke’s. It’s her party, and I’m sure she’ll cry if she wants to!

Scream airs Tuesdays at 10/9C on MTV.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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