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'Dominion' fan recap: That barbed-wire net looks ouchy

Season 2 | Episode 5 | “Son of the Fallen” | Aired Aug 6, 2015

Previously: Claire and city engineer Gates got closer. Gabriel and Michael teamed up to take down New Delphi. Julian is half-angel, half-human—a dyad. And he’s got an eight-ball army.

David Whele wasn’t playing when he said he was going to start thinking big again in the episode previous. Blowing the city in two and starting a war is pretty big for Dominion. I’m just irritated with him because all of this drama is interrupting the gentle blossoming of the love affair between Claire and Gates. They barely have time to gaze longingly at each other! #Clates!

Whele isn’t the only one making rash decisions that go against the grain. Was Alex seriously going to kill Michael for a second there? Uh, dude pulled bullies off you. Ungrateful. Let’s get up in this gig, as the drag queens say,

War is approaching. Claire, Gates, and an unwelcome Arika share a leisurely breakfast and plot to find Zoe and shoot her in the dreadlocks. #Clates are so in love. They’re sharing meaningful glances over condiments and she’s eating off his plate and there’s chuckling. Arika is mean-mugging at them. I’m not sure whether it’s because she’s jealous of Gates or because the hollandaise sauce isn’t to her exacting specifications. It’s decided to put a bounty on Zoe’s dreadlocks and clip-on carnival-booth feathers and beads. Dead or alive! Claire thinks Gates’ plan is genius. Gates could probably find the remote at this point and Claire would think it’s akin to quantum physics. Love lowers your standards.

Meanwhile, in the decaying part of town, one of Zoe’s soldiers turns against her and starts shooting. David manages to kill the assassin and save Zoe’s life. The bounty is on. Zoe’s main heavy, Jasper, takes a bullet to the washboards and it looks grim. He needs medical attention and it’s not like there’s a CVS on the corner. Zoe decides that she will work a ceasefire with Claire to get Jasper help. David offers his negotiation skills in her stead. He reasons that everyone hates him because they think he likes to get after it with eight-balls. What does he have to lose by helping her?

Arika volunteers to rep Claire in the negotiation. Hey, she put down two rebellions in Helena (wait, so they KNOW she’s Evelyn?), so she’s got this. David and Arika have their sit-down. Arika walks in like she’s up in the club, hips swingin’ and smirk werkin’. Her confidence is refreshing. The feminist in me loves Dominion for the avoidance of wishy-wishy female archetypes. In post-apocalyptic America, there’s no time for chauvinism. You tease your hair out and you run this game!

David is unimpressed by her bag of multivitamins. He takes the opportunity to beg her to get him out of this mess. An amused Arika wants to know all about Zoe and what’s in the mystery crate. What’s in the mystery crate is a whole mess of explosives and a plan to blow up Claire. Arika tells David if he brings them the explosives, she will have his reputation restored. He’ll also get a “comfortable V3 or higher life.” That sounds like a nice condo, but the pool isn’t heated. Fair enough. Better than being kicked in the face in sewer tunnels for having an eight-ball fetish.

Gates thinks that a truckful of explosives big enough to take out three city blocks is a good reason to “Audi.” Uh-uh, Gates. The Lady of the City doesn’t flee from a little bomb. She has a perimeter set up to ward off attackers, and they wait for Whele. Just as she’s about to explain to Gates that her layered-for-the-gods hair this week translates as “no surrender” … cramps! Dr. Meshell Ndegeocello shows up to administer to Claire. Claire is fine, and Dr. Meshell is Arika’s latest paramour. Arika doesn’t name her, but explains to Dr. Meshell that her ex, Uriel, outlasted her usefulness. Dr. Meshell could too, if she doesn’t mind her nosiness. Dr. Meshell offers to take out Claire for her, but Arika nixes that. She likes Claire. I think she REALLY likes Claire. We’ll see.

David manages to choke out his V1 guard and take off with the Truck of Doom. He walkie-talkies Claire and starts babbling about how he built up Vega. He rues the day they shoved a whole subset of the population into the sewers. Then he signs off. After having the V1s evacuated from the tunnels, David blows them up. It creates a perfect divide, separating the newly liberated V1s from the rest of Vega’s richie-riches. Claire notes that he’s started a civil war. Just have Gates throw a baseball at it, Claire. It solves a lot.

Vega blows up

One night in New Delphi. Bodies fly from the sky like screaming confetti. Gabriel and Michael have obviously arrived. Michael steps around the bodies wearing a very medieval chainmail-meets-Cher-in-Vegas-circa-1976 hooded cloak. Gabriel is just flinging bodies off of New Delphi’s upper reaches. I’ll admit it: If I were an archangel with little concern for human life, I’d find throwing people off balconies fun too. Julian, Alex, Noma, and General Eddie discuss how they can use Julian’s army and the magic vase to kill the intruders. Alex is very anti-Michael in this episode. To show what a douche he’s being, we flash back to the day that he met his archangel savior.

The nice archangel twin saved him from some bullies, and they got to know one another over the course of an evening. They discussed how they’re both missing their fathers (EVERYONE is missing Michael’s), and Michael gives Alex a cool knife to learn how to use. Bonding! Early-’90s Michael favors hoodies from Target. He really upped his clothes game over the years, huh?

Back in the present day, Gabriel has the security doors surrounding New Delphi shut so they can trap Julian and kill everybody. Michael doesn’t love his plan, so he slices his Achilles tendon to prevent him from throwing more people off balconies. In the meantime, Alex is off to find the archangels, and Julian and General Eddie have a discussion about Eddie’s health. If you’ll remember, Eddie is way sick. Julian offers to make him a dyad so he’ll live forever. Eddie, who has seen that weird thing a dyad’s eyes do, is all, “No thanks.” When Noma returns from hiding the magic vase, she finds Eddie beaten up and Julian gone. Noma, who is a badass bitch who should just beat the demi-angel out of Julian and take over the city, goes to find Alex. Alex and his new New Delphi crew catch Michael in an empyrean steel barbed-wire net. It’s the one material that can take down a winged type.

Alex paces back and forth in front of his cocooned-in-agony mentor. Alex really seems ready to kill him. I think he’s just hainty over Michael walking out on him back in Vega. This is a total daddy issue. Noma arrives and tries to talk him out of it. This is a moot point because Gabriel is here. Destroyed tendon be damned, the bad twin is here to toss everyone about and kill that pesky blond dude with the tattoos. Julian shows up with … people do a lot of showing up in this episode and then beating on each other. I’m waiting for the once-again eight-balled Pete to show up and beat on everybody else for forgetting about his twice-possessed ass. Oh, Pete! *sobs*

Gabriel ends up in a barbed-wire net as well, and a long discussion of dyads and why archangels should be roasted on spits ensues. I don’t know about you, but if I were all snugged up in a pointy net and some fool was talking about my impending death, I’d bust out and start killing. Gabriel feels the same! He frees himself and takes control. Of course, Michael escapes. Let’s send out good thoughts, and maybe some sympathy cards to Alex and Noma. Because they’re screwed.

Dominion airs Thursdays at 10/9C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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