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'My So-Called Life' nostalgia recap: Metamorphoses

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “The Zit” | Aired Sep 22, 1994

One of my favorite things about My So-Called Life is how perfectly the writers correlate whatever the kids are learning about in school to the theme of the episode. Episode five was no exception—they’re reading “The Metamorphosis” by Kafka, but the students are a bit distracted by certain other metamorphoses brought about by puberty, such as Sharon’s newly prominent breasts and a zit on Angela’s chin.

All of this is made worse when Rayanne, Rickie, and Angela get their hands on a “Top 40” list of the hottest sophomore girls. Sharon was voted “best hooters,” Rayanne got “most slut potential,” which seems to thrill her, and Angela isn’t on the list at all. While this may seem like a good thing, Angela doesn’t see it that way, and is clearly upset she didn’t make it.

DVD screengrab

Back at the Chase household, Patty is super-excited for the annual mother-daughter fashion show for charity. She’s feeling insecure about her age, and is clearly placing a lot of importance on getting all dressed up for the event. Angela could not disagree more, and can’t believe her mother still wants to make her dress up in matching outfits. The next day at school, Angela runs into Sharon in the bathroom and reluctantly asks her if she’s doing the fashion show. Annoyed by her ex–best friend’s sudden interest in talking to her again, Sharon tells Angela to go squeeze her zit, which prompts Angela to very meanly congratulate Sharon on the poll: “You’re on it. They both are. I can’t believe you didn’t know.” Oof.

Sharon’s mother, Camille, tells Patty the poll has made her daughter very self-conscious. Upon learning that Angela didn’t make the list, Patty seems to have the same gut reaction as her daughter, immediately understanding how being left out is both a blessing and a curse. Sharon breaks up with her new boyfriend, Kyle, because she now assumes he only likes her for her boobs and had something to do with the poll. Meanwhile, Angela is taking all of her angst over the poll and her zit out on her poor mother. She gets bitchy when Patty tries to offer some simple acne advice, and will not stop complaining about the fashion show.

DVD screengrab

In his own anti-metamorphosis of sorts, Rickie is trying to blend in more by hanging out less in the girls’ bathroom—which leads to a somewhat unlikely friendship with Brian Krakow. The two observe their classmates, more of whom are coupling up all the time, and wonder when exactly this happened. Brian is also constantly wondering when Sharon’s boobs happened, to the point where he basically can’t stop staring at them.

In a really sweet scene, Kyle corners Sharon and insists that while he’s not exactly mad about the size of her chest, her smile and personality are the real reasons he likes her. It’s all rather romantic, and Sharon seems on the way to accepting her new body. Angela, however, could not be more unhappy with hers. She tries on the fashion-show dress Patty slaved over, hates it, and tells her mother she needs to just face the fact that she’s ugly. Angela thinks Patty expects her to be beautiful, something she feels is impossible. This (understandably) breaks Patty’s heart. She realizes she put too much pressure on Angela at a time when she is very insecure about her looks.

DVD screengrab

In English class, Jordan Catalano asks Brian to explain “The Metamorphosis” to him. In typical Jordan fashion, he comments that dying of loneliness definitely seems possible, and follows it up by asking if the story is fictional. Sigh. In the bathroom, aka the source of many of the most angsty moments on this show, Angela apologizes to Sharon in a rather roundabout way, admitting she was jealous of her boobs. Sharon tells Angela that she often wishes she had what Angela has, or rather doesn’t have, and the two bond a bit. Rayanne interrupts and tells Angela it’s fine with her if she wants to be friends with Sharon again, commenting that Sharon is “not a slut.” It appears the poll bothered Rayanne after all, despite her initial display of pride. Angela reassures her that her slutdom, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with their friendship. Aw, high school.

At home, Angela is surprised to learn that her little sister, Danielle, feels left out and wishes she was doing the fashion show. Angela suggests to Patty that she simply participate with her other daughter. The two apologize to each other, and Angela finally allows Patty to help her with the zit. Cut to the fashion show, where Patty and Danielle are adorable, Sharon and Camille are simply glowing, and Angela, Rickie, and Rayanne are happily cheering them on from backstage. Angela tears up, and I don’t blame her, because I did too.

DVD screengrab

Best Angela-ism: “Sometimes it seems like we’re all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It’s good to get really dressed up once in a while, and admit the truth—that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they’re actually … beautiful. Possibly even me.”

Claire Danes Cry-Face Count: Two. Well, one full one and two halves (aka quivering upper lip, scrunched-up face, near tears but not quite there). Claire excels at this.

Most Ignorant Teenage Moment: I have to go with Angela accusing her mother of “being ashamed of her” and “trying to fix her” because she offered advice on how to care for a pimple.

Angst-o-Meter: 7/10 for angst that perfectly captures being a teenager.

If you’d like to follow along with my recaps, the entire series is available to watch for free on Hulu!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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