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'Wet Hot American Summer': A definitive ranking of character wigs

We’ve all had the weekend to recover from our binge-watch of Netflix’s Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp. We’ve had time to ponder how everything fits together, what it all means, and how something we’ve waited 15 years for can be over in eight glorious episodes.

Speaking of 15 years, I’d argue that all the actors have never looked better, including their last time at Camp Firewood. This series adds to the conspiracy that Paul Rudd is immortal. The wardrobe and hair for the first movie were recreated with precise detail; Katie still has her pink sweatshirt, and Victor only wears muscle shirts that show off his nipples. However, the wig budget on this film was pretty high. Not since Key & Peele have wigs played such an important role in characters’ aesthetics. I suppose with wig technology these days, it was easier than trying to convince 40-something actors to cut their hair into the original styles.

Here, I present a definitive list of the best (and the not-so-great) wigs.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

12. Steve (Kevin Sussman) Not only does Steve control wind storms and hack into computer databases, but he maintains a head of curls seen at many camps.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

11. Eric (Chris Pine) As a washed up rock star, Eric, of course, has long, greasy locks. But this kind of reminds me of a wig from those Halloween stores that pop up in abandoned strip malls every season.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

10. Victor (Ken Marino) also sports the frizzy curls of campers and counselors of a certain regional culture of the tri-state area. This may actually be his original wig.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

9. J.J. (Zak Orth) J.J. is one of my favorite and one of the most underrated characters in Wet Hot. He utters many of the greatest lines. I don’t blame him for not being able to grow his hair out to look like a dirtbag kid from the eighties, but I also don’t mind the ridiculousness of his wig.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

8. Neil (Joe Lo Truglio) There’s something very comforting about seeing Neil’s fantastic mullet and large-framed glasses. Someone in a band from Brooklyn has already probably stolen this look.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

7. Gerald “Coop” Cooperberg (Michael Showalter) The bowl cut is essential to his character, and the pooka-shell necklace only enhances the classic look.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

6. The Falcon (John Hamm) I know: Technically this is not a wig, per se, but he was wearing Weird Al’s head as a mask. Thus, the hair is included.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

5. Katie (Marguerite Moreau) Subtle hair extensions and great barrette work.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

4. Yaron (David Wain) Of course the sensual Israeli guy who is into threesomes has such luscious hair.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

3. Dave (Paul Scheer) I think it was a legal mandate for guys working at rock magazines in the eighties to have this hair.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

2. Gene (Christopher Meloni) When have we ever seen Meloni with a full head of hair? He pulls it off flawlessly.

Wet Hot American Summer first day of camp

1. Susie (Amy Poehler) Susie’s blond, feathered locks are a classic, and the show wouldn’t be the show without it.

Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp is currently streaming on Netflix.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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