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'Odd Mom Out' fan recap: You smell like children

Season 1 | Episode 8 | “Staffing Up” | Aired July 20, 2015

Just for the record, Jill and her Momzilla squad live a very different life from mine. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever live in a world in which two housekeepers and a nanny is standard practice, but I do appreciate Odd Mom Out giving me the opportunity to judge and mock. What else can you ask from your sitcoms these days?

I can’t really mock Jill’s feelings of being overwhelmed. I get it, I really do. But I just can’t get it up enough to feel bad that she’s overwhelmed at how much help she’s getting. I think Jill Kargman herself would agree that that deserves a hearty dose of judgment.

If it weren’t for that ridiculously abusive preschool demanding that Jill be on time to pick up her kids, she wouldn’t even consider hiring a nanny. But Vanessa assures her she won’t judge her if she does; I can make no such promises.

Furthermore, it becomes apparent that she desperately needs some help since she can’t even be on time to the most important meeting of her life: Brooke’s NACHO gala meeting (New Yorkers Against Childhood Obesity). Brooke, always super down to Earth and practical, gives yet another piece of valuable advice: Lean in to being a mom.

Jill and the Momzillas lunch while the nannies look after their kids on

Jill (and the rest of us, for that matter) know that’s not exactly what Sheryl Sandberg had in mind, but the way these ladies do motherhood, you might have to consider making it a full-time job. There’s just so much to get to between the charity meetings, the shopping, and the noon-time cocktails that Brooke makes a valid point, sort of.

Jill enlists Brooke’s help as a master staffer, and they go out to stalk the major nanny hotspots. Once Jill poaches, er, hires Rowena, things start to turn around for her. Jill is shopping and drinking the day away, and the amount of free time is liberating, for a minute. Even after hiring another housekeeper to accommodate Rowena’s dust allergy, Jill is loving the freedom.

Until, that is, Jill starts to get crowded out by Rowena. The children call Jill by Rowena’s name, and the phrase “There is nothing for you to do” is like a taunt, making Jill’s freedom seem like a punishment. Her Nan-crush is starting to fade the more the nanny gets all in her business.

Feeling unsettled by the new paradigm, she tries to spend time with Vanessa, but Vanessa has to find a Jill replacement when Jill’s spaciness and rich-people problems get in the way of their brunch. Vanessa takes up with Jillian (with a J, not a G), another day-drinking doctor, and it looks like Jill might be getting crowded out of that relationship too. This is just too much.

Brooke gives Jill advice on

The Momzillas aren’t much help when Jill tries to get their input. They can’t even name one thing they still do with their children. Well, that’s a little unfair. Brooke is heavily involved in buying her kids’ clothes—when she’s not getting vaginal physical therapy and forbidding Lex from touching her boobs.

It’s the last straw when Jill finds Rowena reading chapter four of Christ’s crucifixion to a rapt crowd of her half-Jewish kids and husband. She knows immediately what she needs to do: Fire them. Fire them all.

Jill convinces Andy to help her fire the staff on

She’s obviously too chicken to do it herself, so she tries to pawn it off on a sick Andy. When he refuses, she recruits him into at least helping her, and the whole things turns into a giant shit show, leading the staff to think, first, that they are getting a raise. Things turn angry when they realize this is actually their severance. Whoever said being rich was easy obviously never had to fire two housekeepers and a nanny. The struggle is real.

The staff is finally fired … all except Rowena, the nanny. When faced with a broken fish tank, a potty-training code brown, and a puking husband, Rowena’s help is too good to pass up. Vanessa might not be judging her, but maybe I am—a little.

Odd Mom Out airs Mondays at 10/9C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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