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'General Hospital' fan recap: My name's Jake. What's yours?

Season 53 | Episodes 68–72 | Aired July 6–10, 2015

In 2011, General Hospital viewers watched as little Jake Spencer was hit by a car, declared brain dead, and became an organ donor for Josslyn Jacks. This week, all of that came undone as Jake was found alive by Lucky, Luke, and Laura. Is this a great correction to an egregious wrong in storytelling? Or is it a colossal mess that will leave viewers scratching their head trying to figure out all the pieces?

The doctors (Jackson, Niles) that performed the transplant are long gone. Frank Smith is dead (again). Helena, in her probable final scenes with Luke Spencer, has taken responsibility for snatching Jake from the hospital and bringing him to Cassadine Island to be raised by a governess. And while it certainly fits Helena’s history to snatch an innocent child and let loved ones grieve, it does raise many a question. Whose kidneys were donated to Josslyn? Was Patrick wrong in his brain-death diagnosis, or was it a different child on the death bed? And, ignoring the speed of travel, how did they get Jake back to Port Charles from Greece without a passport?

Being that Lucky recognized little Jake (James Nigbor, reprising his role), it seems certain that it is 100 percent really him. Plus, his Stone Cold hairdo and Cameron-worth side-eyes are complete giveaways. The potential for fallout is limitless. When Jakeson finally learns/remembers his real identity, he will have two families available to him. Especially since almost everyone in town knows that he, not Lucky, is little Jake’s biological father. Granted, Jakeson and Sam are bonding while investigating Nikolas. And Jakeson and Elizabeth have declared their love for one another. How will Elizabeth’s lies and Sam’s relationship with Patrick affect the resolution of the unknowing quadrangle?

Sam and Jakeson are closer to the truth about Nikolas’ evil acts than they realize. Their rapport as Sam breaks into Nikolas’ face is completely comfortable, as they find a tiny clue. But why on earth would Nikolas have held onto Hayden’s driver’s license? And while Sam is asking some of the right questions about Hayden, all will be moot now that Hayden appears to be awakening from her coma. That is, of course, assuming she remembers that Jakeson is Jason Morgan.

The truth that Luke faked his reconciliation with Laura is quickly traveling through Port Charles, excluding Tracy. Tracy is too busy being floored by the reappearance of Paul Hornsby (now play by Richard Burgi), Dillon’s long0absent father. With Tracy’s penchant for reconnecting with past flings, will Paul be the man to replace Luke in Tracy’s heart?

The biggest fallout currently on the horizon will surely be Lulu and Dante’s marriage. After falsely surmising that Lulu was bedding Dillon, Dante quickly jumped into bed with his cousin-in-law Valerie. It was a no-brainer that Valerie would take this to mean a future with Dante, but her disclosing it to her boss (Jordan) was out of left field. Seriously, who tells their boss that they hooked up with a married coworker, regardless of the situation? Since Valerie is on the short list for the next town pariah, she needs to find an actual ally/friend in the town, or her days are numbered. Naturally, the shock-o-meter will read zero if she ends up pregnant, right?

Lulu returns home, ready to admit her lies, but is unprepared for Dante’s anger and assumptions. Dante blasts Lulu for her affair, but even after he learns the truth, he isn’t ready to forgive. Dante calls her out on putting being “Luke Spencer’s daughter” above their family, and Lulu is appropriately apologetic. A guilty Dante almost confesses his indiscretion, but opts to spare Lulu the pain. Dante makes a beeline to Valerie, begging her to keep their tryst a secret. Valerie agrees, neglecting to mention her oversharing with Jordan. But all may be for naught, as Carly spills the beans to Lulu about Dante having kissed Valerie. Lulu confronts Dante with the incorrect knowledge that she knows everything. Will Dante confess?

In lesser-seen stories this week, Brad continues to delay an engagement dinner for his and Lucas’ families. Brad admits to Felix that he hasn’t been up front with Lucas about his family. Is Brad’s family unaware/ashamed of his sexuality? Or will we soon find ourselves revisiting the Asian Quarter mob family?

It takes an inexplicably long time, but Ava is finally able to convince Franco that she is alive and only pretending to be Denise. Franco realizes that Silas kidnapped Avery, not Nina. Ava believes that Franco will help her in her quest to see her daughter, but the “how” portion of the equation remains a mystery.

But everything full circles back to Jakeson this week. After declaring his love and devotion to Elizabeth, Jakeson takes leave to run an errand … which finds him standing front and center on Monica’s doorstep. Will mother and son coming face-to-plastic-surgery-altered-face finally be the catalyst to trigger the reveal of Jakeson’s true identity? But with two blond moppets around to call him Daddy, where does Jakeson belong?

And, finally, is this the best General Hospital side-eye ever?

Little Jake

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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