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'Dominion' season 2 premiere recap: Michael has killed everything

Season 2 | Episode 1 | “Heirs of Salvation” | Aired July 9, 2015

Previously: Michael killed his ex-lover, Becca, for vivisecting angels and quit being Vega’s protector. Claire took over as Lady of the City. David was supposed to murder his son, William, but instead exiled his fellow turncoat. Alex entered Gabriel’s aerie in a bid to save Noma.

Hey, it’s the second season of Dominion! Hey, Chris Egan still looks hot with his shirt off! Hey, there’s Tom Wisdom’s naked ass at the beach! Hey, Claire’s hair is still reflecting her inner turmoil! I missed this show.

We open on women and children piling into an underground bunker. A young mother peeks out of a fortified door and watches Michael in killing-machine mode, mowing down eight-balls.

Join me now as we soar over the mountains to Gabriel’s chalet. It’s two days earlier. Alex is lying around shirtless (I really did miss this show), insisting to Gabriel that his angelic “Chosen One” tats have thrown their resignation letter on his desk. Gabriel, who has taken time in between seasons to render his hair into an asymmetrical bob, is irritated that Heaven’s GPS has up and quit. He’s been trying to get Alex to translate the tattoos for months now. Noma is being held off to the side, and it’s obvious that the current situation has reached the boiling point. One of the tats actually starts moving, and Alex hurries to translate it for everyone. He draws a smiley face and flashes his own at Gabriel. Chris Egan should smile more—amiright, ladies?

Gabriel is unamused by Alex’s shenanigans, and orders Noma’s wings pinned. I’d be resentful over having an iron spike hammered into my shoulder because my sorta-boyfriend got uppity with the boss. Everyone pauses due to the roaring sound that accompanies a large aircraft dropping a large bomb. They’re screwed. At least with a tornado siren, you can start running and maybe find a root cellar to dive into. BOOM.

We’re in Vega’s war room. Claire, fetching in a punky-looking side-zip jacket vest, surveys the bombing run on the monitors. The Artist Formerly Known as Arika, Who Is Actually Power Lesbian Evelyn, stands at her side. Strained applause breaks out. Yay, death from above!

Afterward, David rolls up on Claire to chew her out for bombing Gabriel. She’s wearing a sleeveless top (the Lady of the City has no time for sleeves this season) and could care less about his opinions. She’s not Sarah Michelle Gellar, and she took the shot because Gabriel was reportedly at the chalet. Claire is still trying to dismantle Vega’s V-system, which puts everyone into socioeconomic “castes.” She’s given several floors of the Wynn (oh, remember those times when the only important thing was luck being a lady?) to the V-1s to live in. A way-too-happy-over-the-news David reveals to Claire that she probably killed Alex with the bomb. That would be the father of her unborn baby. Claire claims to have already known this because all military intel comes through her first. David leaves in a huff (it’s never fun when your soul-crusher of an announcement ends up being old news), and Claire clutches Alex’s letter to their kid to her sleeveless bosom.

Alex, Noma, and Gabriel all survived the bomb. Did Claire buy it at the Dollar Store? Alex takes the spike out of Noma’s back and goes to kill Gabriel with it. A fight breaks out amongst the debris, and Alex and Noma bounce. Cut to the seashore. There’s a 747 half-buried in the sand, and a bare-ass Michael is washing his sins away in the ocean. It’s very end–of–Planet of the Apes, and those wings really set off Tom Wisdom’s ivory buttcheeks.

Alex and Noma have fled from the mountains, and uncover a Jeep that Alex had stashed for just such an occasion. His plan? He’s going to New Delphi to rally their forces to assist Vega against Gabriel. Noma feels that he’s being slightly grandiose. Alex explains that his “Chosen One” body art is his currency, and he can use his prophetic status to obtain goods and services. Despite Michael having warned her about New Delphi, Noma vows to be his ride-or-die bitch.

Chris Egan Kim Engelbrecht

Michael awakens from a beach nap wherein he dreamed of killing Becca (WHY DO THEY TORTURE ME?!?). His angelic super-hearing picks up the sound of singing. Eight-balls ring a community, hissing at an alighting Michael that the humans must die. Beyond the fences are cows! This town has steak! The townsfolk approach, weapons drawn. Their female leader tells them all to stand down. An angry redheaded dude relieves Michael of his double blades of doom, and leader lady promises him that she’ll explain everything. You’d better explain where the prime rib is, honey, ‘cuz it’s been 25 years and there is nary a bovine in Vega!

Alex’s Jeep blows its radiator. The duo is set upon by eight-balls as they attempt to repair it. Alex double-kills a bunch of them by hitting them with the Jeep, then backing up and driving over their squishy heads. Eight-ball heads pop like grapes. I prefer when the TV-MA rating is related to Michael’s bare ass as opposed to squishy heads. As they escape, a single eight-ball clings to the bumper, just like I did when my mom dropped me off on the first day of first grade. I must have been worried my teacher would turn out to be an eight-ball.

Claire & Co. watch the video relay of Gabriel’s aerie post-bombing. It initially appears to have been totally destroyed. Appearances can be deceiving, given the pissed-off angels suddenly swarming at the camera and the dying screams of Arika’s air force. David gets all hoity-toity over it. Claire’s hair is very voluminous in this scene, and it reflects her growing unease over her choices. “Arika” (I guess only Uriel knows that she’s Evelyn?) rolls her eyes at David and shows off her toned tummy in a halter top. I love that the higher-ups of this military force can dress like it’s Thirsty Thursday down at the campus pub.

Michael has a chat with the female leader of the community he’s winged upon. We learn that he’s in Mallory, Alabama, and they all believe God is still hanging out. Lady Mallory explains that their community was founded by people of different religious beliefs who formed a new faith based on “singing, service, and sacrifice.” It sounds like a dueling piano bar to me, but whatever gets you through the apocalypse. Michael spots the “Chosen One” statuette. Lady Mallory tells him the story he already knows. Her version, however, has the Chosen One destroying the remainder of mankind if he fails at his task to heal and unite angels and man. Who told her that version, Michael asks? Our Father, she says with kind of a Jonestown-ish smirk. Methinks these simple folk aren’t that simple. Never trust a gal wearing a light-colored jean jacket with light-colored denim. It’s like the inverse of a jean tuxedo and it’s WRONG.

The Jeep finally dies. Alex and Noma start to hoof it, and are attacked by the bumper-clinging eight-ball. Alex slaps a figure four on the hissing fool. He’s suddenly able to use his now-working tattoos to evict the angel from him. This is new. Especially since the eviction doesn’t kill the guy! His name is Pete, and he has no clue as to why they think he’s a demonic angel. The last thing he remembers is eating a burger pre-apocalypse, then waking up to them. He begs them to take him along. Alex gives in, but Noma isn’t feeling it. She secretly issues a wing-flapping call to Michael.

Claire is given a pep talk by Arika over dropping the bomb and probably killing Alex. Arika thinks they will never be safe until all the angels are dead. She feels that emotions and David are two very dangerous things, and neglects to inform Claire about their order of importance. She’s dead on. Emotions are messy, and David is currently holding a meeting with his Council of Cowardly Evil. He’s rattling off the names of all the casinos that he’s scared will be bequeathed to the lessers by Lady Riesen. He refers to Claire and Arika as “that little bitch and her harpy from Helena.” They should put that on all the royal stationary, ‘cuz it’s catchy. He orders that the floors of the Wynn that Claire gave to the poor get destroyed. Class dismissed! Look, it’s Willie! He’s back? If so, he’s returned from the desert with a sassy new ‘do. Gone is the slicked-back televangelist cut. Now it’s tousled and tawdry! David tells his son that the plan is to discredit Claire to take her down.

Gabriel awakens to learn that his sister Uriel is missing, and that Alex and Noma are gone. He’s done had it with Vega and humans. He plans to burn that city to the ground. He also notes that he doesn’t need Alex; he just needs his skin. THAT could be graphic. In Mallory’s Church of Many Colors, Cranky Redhead confronts Michael. He’s all bigoted about Michael’s Duran Duran outfit, his eyes, his weapons, and his demeanor. He asks what Michael has killed with his bloody blades of black metal. “Everything,” Mikey replies, in the best line of the episode. Rain starts falling outside, dousing the fiery effigy at the center of town. The burning effigy is the reason the eight-balls haven’t eaten the town yet. Never fear, Michael’s here, and he’s got a lot of pent-up rage.

Claire watches the Wynn burn and realizes that she needs to off Big Dave. Arika has a plan, and it involves an eight-ball. You know she’s had that plan written down in her head for quite some time. In Mallory, Michael joins the battle. Lady Mallory and Cranky Redhead prove to be quite the warriors. It’s always the Amish types who’ve got the inherent bloodlust. It stems from a lack of electricity.

Alex, Noma, and former eight-ball Pete approach New Delphi. It’s a hospitable place where they’ve murdered a higher angel and lashed its decapitated body to a tree to ward off intruders. So much for those “welcome to” signs with the population estimate. Noma notes that “we’re hard to kill,” so you know this isn’t good.

Willy is uptight over David’s decision to lord it over the poors with fire accelerants. He’s still cross over Daddy leaving him alone in the desert with six bullets and two days of food. This might explain the reveal of the bullet hole in his head. His visage vanishes as we realize he’s just a figment of David’s guilt. Meanwhile, in New Delphi’s creepy forest, approaching eight-balls capture Alex and Noma …

And there’s your Dominion season two premiere!

Dominion airs Thursdays at 10/9C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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