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'The Fosters' fan recap: Meanwhile, in Mexico ...

Season 3 | Episode 5 | “Going South” | Aired July 6, 2015

Sometimes The Fosters uses its 42-ish minutes of airtime a week to tell very important, very real stories about the issues teenagers face today, and sometimes it sends two of its main characters to Mexico to go hang-gliding. You can’t win them all, I guess.

In all fairness, the Mexican hang-gliding getaway (that’s a real thing I just had to type) did provide a bit of a catalyst for Callie to finally drop a few truth bombs on Brandon. B needed to hear some things, and if jumping off a cliff with a giant kite strapped to his back in order to escape la policía (I’ve become accustomed to this new reality now) was what got him there, then so be it.

Let me explain: In the wee small hours of the morning, Callie forces Brandon out of bed to join her on a surprise trip south of border. Brandon assumes she’s in some sort of trouble, but Callie reveals she simply wants to use her newfound, non-paroled freedom to make some good stories with her best friend. B is pissed for less than 60 seconds before realizing that Callie chose him; he’s on board.

Callie may want to rethink whom she brings along on her adventures, because Brandon spends the entire time whining about his misfortunes. He even inadvertently calls Callie out for being one of the “crazy, dramatic women” in his life, as he complains about Kat and Talia (remember Talia?!) before her.

As the two debate whether or not they should go through with the jump, the police show up, and Callie and Brandon can either get arrested or get to hang-gliding. They choose the latter, but still end up having to bribe the cops with Brandon’s keyboard in order to avoid jail time (none of this is a typo) before heading home.

Alas, the road back from Mexico is paved with tortillas and teenage angst. Brandon feels as if the world is conspiring against him and Callie is like, “Um, have you met me?” And finally, Callie lets him have it. She reminds B that all of the drama caused by the women in his life have one thing in common: him. Preach, sister. Brandon really needed to hear that he is his own worst enemy, and he needed to hear it from Callie.

After playing stupid in order to be let back into the country (let’s not go there), Brandon returns to find Tony in his kitchen with an offer to come back to Idyllwild. Callie relays the events of the day to AJ, who doesn’t shy away from telling Callie that he’d like to go on adventures with her. He is very into her, and I am very into this whole thing. Callie, however, doesn’t want to mess around with a foster brother (yeah, okay), but is open to the idea once AJ moves in with Mike. THE WAY AJ LOOKS AT CALLIE, YOU GUYS.

TheFostersAJ

AJ has had quite the day as well. While AJ and Mike pay a visit to AJ’s Grandma, who is completely lost in her dementia, Mike does some major detective-ing and realizes AJ’s brother Ty has been to visit Grandma, just two days prior. The guys Cagney-and-Lacey that clue all the way to the florist, where Ty purchased Grandma’s lovely arrangement of irises. It is a dead end, but it means Ty is alive.

Mike responds to a burglary call and AJ tags along. On the scene, Mike heads inside, and AJ gets out of the car to get a closer look … when another cop tackles AJ to the ground and forcefully tries to put him under arrest. His pleas that he’s with Mike go unheard, until Mike returns and vouches for AJ. The cop tries to explain that he saw AJ and just thought—but we all know what he thought. It is horrible.

At Mike’s, AJ is upset, angry, frustrated. Mike tries to empathize, but because Mike can’t understand living in a world with only the lowest of expectations for himself, he can offer AJ no comfort. AJ doesn’t see how a foster relationship between a cop and a black kid will ever work. He questions why Mike is even interested. Mike is doing this because he needs to know kids like AJ get second chances. AJ needs someone to believe in him, and Mike is that person.

It’s brave of The Fosters to tackle such a complicated, important issue. AJ’s story can’t possibly encompass everything that it is trying to represent, but it at least provides a vocabulary for the situation to a demographic that might not be able to easily talk about it. So why wasn’t this the A-story?

Oh, right, the hang-gliding.

In other family news:

  • After Mariana attempts to define “hooking up” to her moms, she comes clean about losing her virginity to Wyatt. If I ever find myself in the nightmare that is “having the sex talk” with a teenager, I’m just going to recite this entire conversation verbatim; it is perfect. Plus, it ends with a big group hug. Come tell me about sex and self-respect, Stef and Lena!
  • After a full day of listening to Lena and Stef bicker, Oscar the Contractor fears his paycheck will never arrive once the two split. It’s enough to make Stef agree to Lena’s couples counseling suggestion. Anyone else find it tough to stomach Lena being so self-righteous while lying right to Stef’s face?
  • Just as AJ is making headway with Callie, he gets a call from Ty. Please, Ty, do NOT mess this up for me—I mean, AJ.
  • Callie: “We played dumb.” Stef: “Well, that couldn’t have been hard.” Yes, queen.
  • Stef: “You’re a teenager, Mariana. You’re always weird and moody.” YES, QUEEN.

Next week on The Fosters: More people ask for the definition of “hooking up”!

The Fosters airs Mondays at 8/7C on ABC Family.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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