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'General Hospital' fan recap: Payback time

Season 53 | Episodes 63–67 | Aired June 29–July 3, 2015

The farewell train for Anthony Geary rolls on this week on General Hospital. And while Luke is clearly the center of the kidnapping mystery, viewers are being treated to a strong (and coherent) Laura who hasn’t been visible for years. Throw in the historic value of Holly Sutton, and it was a treat to watch the three veteran actors intermingle and discuss their convoluted history.

Of course, eagle-eyed watchers know that Holly did indeed know Bill Eckert, but that flub was given a quick explanation by Emma Samms. The mystery thickens as it is revealed that Holly is in Canada because Ethan has also been abducted and a stray matchbook led her to the hotel. Luke doesn’t take long to realize he is the common factor in two of his children being taken, and blames himself for the predicament. While Luke goes to fill Lulu and Dillon in, Laura and Holly play catch-up, including a frank discussion about Ethan’s conception. Holly didn’t know Luke was married, and Laura is long over caring about events that happened during her marriage. That bodes very well for Laura’s future on the show after Luke’s departure.

After a cryptic phone call, a photo of a bound Lucky and Ethan is delivered, and the threesome is able to figure out the boys’ location due to their hand positions. With a faux-pregnant Lulu and Dillon acting as a distraction, Luke, Holly, and Laura get a jump on the remaining guard, and Luke makes his way inside. He quickly finds Ethan (Lucky has escaped, but called no one). Ethan is in a perilous way, having had his foot perched on a landmine for hours. Ethan begs his father to save himself, but Luke quickly works to dismantle the bomb. Their moment of relief is short-lived, as the rest of the gang is ushered in by gunmen. Almost immediately, the mastermind is revealed to be a very undead Frank Smith, wheelchair =0bound since Luke shot (and didn’t kill) him two decades ago.

For those who are fuzzy on their pre-Sonny Port Charles mob history, here’s quick refresher on Frank Smith. After nursing his drudge against Luke and Laura for 20 years, Frank takes pride in having gathered most of Luke’s loved ones in a room, offering Luke first choice of which person he will shoot first to punish Luke. Nobody bothers to ask why he has waited to so long to enact his revenge. Ethan is the recipient of the first bullet, but it’s only an arm wound. Frank allows everyone but Luke and Laura to leave, and Holly and Ethan head to the hospital (aka, wrap up their guest stints). Frank tries to decide between killing Luke or having Luke watch Laura die. Lulu is desperate to get back inside to save her parents (as opposed to trying to call the police), just as gun shots ring out from inside the warehouse.

As worried as Lulu is about her parents, it’s her marriage that is already in critical condition. Dante really can’t be faulted for assuming the worst: He knows his wife is keeping a secret (thanks, Valerie!), saw her with a towel-clad Dillon, knows she lied about seeing her grandmother … but kissing Valerie wasn’t his smartest move. Valerie quickly shuts him down, suggesting he confronts his wife, not replicate her presumed mistakes. Dante heads to Canada (after filling Sonny in on his suspicions) and is despondent to find Lulu’s hotel room, clearly shared with Dillon. With Lulu not present to correct his assumptions, Dante draws his own conclusions. A heartbroken Dante heads back home, where he drowns his sorrows and takes comfort with Valerie. Maxie is concerned to find the two of them together, but an opportunity for clarification is missed when Dante doesn’t tell him what he believes his wife is up to with Dillon.

The family war between Michael and everyone else is cooled when Michael hands over full custody of Avery to Sonny. Sonny is touched by his son’s gesture, but Michael is clear that while he is ready to be at peace with Carly and Morgan, he may never view Sonny as his father again. Saddened by Avery’s departure from the Quartermaine mansion, Michael opts to spend the night at Sabrina’s … in her bed.

Meanwhile, Denise/Ava digs her heels into the Franco relationship sham, using it as a distraction from Morgan. Unfortunately, it also distracts Nina to the level that she signs the power of attorney Ric places in front of her, without bothering to read it. Franco is confused by Denise’s willingness to go along with the plan, but quickly notices that her affection levels go up a notch when Morgan (Hunky Brewster) is nearby. Denise tries to visit Avery at the Quartermaines, stunned to learn that she’s back with Sonny. And Sonny is quick to dismiss her ideas of visitation, while warning her to stay away from Morgan. Denise is heartbroken, crying on Franco’s shoulder. After a few moments, Denise tells Franco that Avery is her daughter.

Finally, Nikolas makes himself comfortable at ELQ as everyone around him pleads with him to return the company to the Quartermaines. Sam is disgusted at her cousin’s behavior. Jakeson throws his job offer back in his face. Even Spencer admonishes his father for being duplicitous. Nikolas explains to Spencer that it was necessary to keep the family fortune in check, but Spencer (showing no fire scars) has evolved past his monetary pride and is afraid his father is becoming a bad person. Keeping Elizabeth in the dark, Jake agrees to team up with Sam to find a way to blackmail Nikolas into giving up ELQ. Can more shared time between the unknowing spouses finally lead to Jakeson regaining his Jason memories?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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