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The 'UnReal' all-star of the week: Anna

This week marks the first in our UnReal All-Stars series—in which, in true reality-show fashion, the weirdest, craziest, most ridiculous people capture our very short attention spans. Maybe they were sweet or endearing and made us love them, but it’s more likely the all-star will have revealed the depths of his or her depravity and proven themselves worthy of ultimate guilty-pleasure status.

This week’s UnReal All-Star is Anna, the smart and charming lawyer who “is super-sweet, but might have a ball gag under her bed.” Rachel manipulates Anna within an inch of her sanity, and uses her father’s death and orphaned teenage brother to fashion her into the show’s villain … all for a $5,000 bonus from Quinn. It’s yuck, I know, but Anna isn’t the All-Star for nothing.

She starts out doe-eyed and classy, turns into a huge train wreck, and then recovers her wits enough to strategize for the win Adam’s heart. She’s a strong frontrunner for wifey (and obviously capable of bringing the drama); that’s why she’s this week’s All-Star.

Hold on while I prepare …


Okay, now I’m ready. Here’s to Anna’s story (in pictures):


Poor Anna. She looks so excited and naive here. Little does she know she’s about to be reduced to a sniveling mess whom folks joke about at the water cooler the next day. She has no idea what’s in store for her. Take a long look at that happy smile, because it won’t last long.


What is it, Anna? You can’t believe Grace would round third base with Adam on the first date after you guys made such a connection? We can’t either. But if Rachel said so, it’s probably the truth. Why would Rachel lie about things? She’s trustworthy, right?


No, of course she’s not trustworthy. Just look at face. That, readers, is the fleeting look of guilt and Rachel NOT letting her conscience get in the way. Even as Rachel gets the side-eye from Jeremy, she’s not shamed. It doesn’t even matter that he is super-hunky; she needs that money and he is not going to make her feel bad. Not for long, anyway.


Nothing says, “I’m here for love” quite like falling apart in a public bathroom stall. Luckily, Rachel didn’t let that meltdown go undocumented, and has become quite adept at faking compassion. Crawling under the door was a nice touch, and just convincing enough to get her back into the ATV to fly in for the final scene.


It’s a shame that Anna thought she was coming back to pack her bags to leave.  Rachel is quickly revealed to be a big fat liar, but audiences will never know that. Trusting someone then having them turn out to be an asshole can really do a number on a girl. Anna unleashes her fury, much to Quinn’s delight, in front the cameras … and just like that, Rachel wins the bonus. Anna is the new villain.


Maybe Quinn is not completely soulless, as she does allow Anna to attend her dad’s funeral. And what’s more romantic than a funeral? Adam really turns on the charm as a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, and Anna falls for the whole bit. She agrees to come back to the show, but only because Rachel promises that Adam is “really into” her and promises Anna’s brother an Xbox for helping convince her. That’s enough for Anna to set grief aside and agree to return to the show. I guess shamelessness is contagious.


If Anna is going to trade her soul to Satan, she’d better at least be called first in the elimination round. She demands that Adam not “torture” her by calling her name last. Seemingly recovered from the public meltdown and the grief over her dead dad, Anna’s head is back in the game now, and she needs this suitor to know she means business.

Well played, Anna. We’ll see if she can maintain her frontrunner status as the other girls claim time with him. I see a lot of All-Star potential among these bachelorettes, but you never know who will come out on top. Who’s your standout fave?

See you next time!


UnReal airs Mondays at 10/9C on Lifetime. 

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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