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'General Hospital' fan recap: Of course ...

Season 53 | Episodes 43-47 | Aired Jun 1-5, 2015

First and foremost, thank you to everyone who participated in last week’s General Hospital polls! So many votes, so many comments—and while everyone wants the “Jake Is Jason” saga to end, everything else was up for hotly contested debates!

And as May sweeps came to an end, June rolls in with quite a few “of course” moments. Not to say things aren’t entertaining or interesting, but …

Of course … Ric is scheming Nina. Despite his many proclamations of love for Elizabeth, Ric is best known for his duplicitous nature. So his teaming up with Madeline to snag Nina’s currently unattainable money was no great surprise. Madeline finds herself, however, stunned to learn that Ric has double-crossed her, married Nina, and has no plans to share Nina’s money once he frees it up from government lockdown.

Of course … Franco tries to trick Nina. Nathan’s involvement is more of a surprise. For all of Nathan’s lectures to Maxie about upholding the law, you wouldn’t expect him to fake arresting his sister to further Franco’s harebrained plan. Franco threatens to turn Nina in for kidnapping Avery (she didn’t) unless she annuls her marriage to Ric. And while Nina is already seeing the red flags regarding her hasty nuptials, the only thing she has left to cling to is her pride. So though she probably wants out of the marriage, blackmail isn’t going to be the way. And Nathan can’t actually throw her in the clink for kidnapping, so Franco’s plan is a bust.

Of course … Anna is leaving Port Charles. Granted, it’s just temporary, as Finola Hughes takes some time off, but having her leave to scatter Duke’s ashes is better than a full mental breakdown, jail, or being kidnapped. Perhaps her tryst with a newly redeemed Sloane should be chalked up to alcohol or overloaded emotions, but it’s a pretty good guess they’ll be paired when she returns. Will Sloane try to take down Nikolas and Lomax all on his own while she’s gone?

Of course … Jordan is the new police commissioner. Never mind that Jordan has no day-to-day police experience. Never mind that Jordan’s major mission of bringing down the Jerome and Corinthos organizations only landed an enforcer behind bars. Lomax wants Jordan to be the new puppet, er, commissioner. Since Lomax isn’t actually blackmailing Jordan, it remains to be seen how well the new commish will play ball.

Of course … Valerie will be working with Dante. At this point, Valerie hasn’t done anything other than bond with her cousin-in-law. Sure, that’s included a few hugs, some cozy conversations, and now working alongside the noble detective. But Lulu’s jealousy radar is on high alert where her newly discovered cousin is involved. And the timing of Dillon Quartermaine’s return surely is no coincidence.

Of course … Denise DeMuchio is Ava Jerome. Surely everyone saw this non-twist coming. Most viewers had pegged Silas as Avery’s kidnapper weeks ago, steadfast in the belief that he took the baby to provide a bone-marrow transplant for Ava. And while the quickness of her recovery is pure soap-opera folklore, the idea that her DNA was altered by the bone-marrow transplant is factual. Delia steps in and asserts that Denise is Ava’s long lost twin sister, fraternal by hair color and accent, apparently. Julian reluctantly accepts the information, Kiki embraces it, and Sonny is fully skeptical. Silas knows better, stopping by Julian’s apartment to confront Denise. And while the alleged hairdresser tries to keep up the ruse, Silas tells her to cut the crap. Flashing back to the New York hospital, Silas walks viewers through the illicit bone-marrow transplant and his reveal of it to Ava. Ava finally admits that Denise is a fraud, but with her altered DNA, burnt-off fingerprints, and Delia-training, nobody is the wiser (at least, until her blond roots grow in). Silas doesn’t approve, but with his role in kidnapping Avery and harboring a fugitive, he has no choice but to keep his mouth shut.

Of course … Michael and Morgan’s reunion involves boxing. Michael sees Denise’s photo in the paper, so he logically heads to the gym for answers. Michael and Morgan rehash the same arguments for the umpteenth time, and Michael naturally wins when it’s a war of words. Morgan tries to deflect drugging his brother by blaming Michael for turning his back in the first place. Michael urges his brother to own the choices Morgan made. The two decide to settle things with a few rounds in the boxing ring, and two bloody lips later, they shake hands. Thrilling, right?

Of course … Nikolas gets the ELQ shares. While Michael thinks that Rosalie is trying to buy Franco’s shares from Nina for him, Rosalie is actually working as a double agent. After playing into Nina’s fears about money and a mounting hotel bill, Rosalie gets her hands on the stock certificates that Franco left behind in the safe. She lets Michael think the plan failed, turning over the shares to an eager Nikolas (who has no idea Sloane is ratting him out as a baddie to Anna). Without knowing much about corporate ownership, is it really just a case of having the papers in hand to claim shares of a big conglomerate?

Of course … Luke is walking freely about town. Luke returns home to the Q-mansion, complete with an apologetic tone and a new tattoo. His first order of business is to propose to Tracy, who accepts his offer of a 30-day engagement before putting an actual wedding into action. Dillon is skeptical of his future once-again stepfather, but Tracy is up to the challenge. Luke insists on a Haunted Star party to celebrate that evening, which Lulu agrees to arrange—complete with checking for bombs. The guests are almost a miss, as Lulu and Lucy leave voicemails all over town, instead of sending easy-to-read texts. Once everyone is gathered, Luke toasts his loved ones, especially the woman he loves. And while all eyes should be on Tracy at that point, all attendees turn toward the door as a stunning Laura makes a surprise entrance.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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