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Time Suck: We recommend 'The Onion,' 'Off Camera,' and more

Time Suck is a regular EW Community feature in which we tireless contributors scour the deep recesses of our pop-culture knowledge to bring you the very best in current entertainment.  These recommendations can be consumed in one minute, one hour, one day, or one week—no matter how much or how little free time you have, we’ve got you covered!

So dig in, fellow pop-culture fans! Whether you’ve got all the time in the world or no time at all, there’s something here for you. This week, we recommend the satirical and smart movie reviews on The Onion, the fascinating, in-depth interview conversations of Off Camera, Vanessa Bayer’s misguided PR coaching on Sound Advice, and, in case you needed some pointers, Grace’s Guide: The Art of Pretending to be a Grown-Up.

*Warning: Time is a social construct, so not all of these offerings will fit exactly into their allotted categories. Just go with it.

One Minute: The Onion film reviews

Need a quick laugh? I am a big fan of the satirical website The Onion and their film reviews are just proof of the site’s brilliance. The resident film critic, Peter K. Rosenthal (Ron E. Rains) delivers these outlandish reviews in the same vein as the rest of the site’s content: the reviews will seem real until the obscurity hits you. It’s satire at its finest.

The Onion‘s reviews are perfect for movie and comedy buffs alike and are hilarious. Trust me. I made the mistake of putting the Twilight review on in a public place and must have looked a little loony to people who saw me laughing at my tablet. —Morissa Schwartz

One Hour: Off Camera with Sam Jones

Off Camera image with Jon Hamm on cover

In a world where instant gratification rules, quality, in depth interviews with the movers and shakers in the entertainment industry are getting harder and harder to come by. But Sam Jones won’t be bullied into the two-page, three minute structure. No sir. In fact, he created Off Camera—a website, magazine, and podcast—”for those of us that salivate at the prospect of a good book, a stiff drink, and an afternoon with no plans.” Pour me a scotch, good sir, you have my attention.

Off Camera gives you ample opportunity to spend much more than one hour in its vortex of eclectic celebrity interviews (everyone from Tony Hawk to Dave Grohl to Judd Apatow to Robert Downey, Jr. is nestled in the archives), which Jones refers to as “non-agenda conversations” (he had me at “non-agenda”). Listening to the one-hour podcasts are free; watching them will cost you $1.49 through iTunes (a bargain when you realize that’s half of what you spent on the cup of coffee you only drank half of this morning), and if you really want to go all in, you can purchase a magazine of the interview including Jones’ cool photos for $6.00. Check out the website. Listen to (or watch) one of the interesting and engrossing interviews conversations. I’ll bet you can’t quit at just one. —Michelle Newman

Listen to the latest interview with Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm HERE.

One Day: Sound Advice with Janessa Slater

It’s easy to get sucked in to this web series starring SNL’s Vanessa Bayer. Watching Bayer play clueless PR coach Janessa Slater is worth the time spent on its own, but factor in seemingly annoyed celebrities trying to play straight against her silliness, and it’s a treasure—a hilarious and satirical treasure.

This week’s installment features indie soul-singer Jenny Lewis, and Janessa kicks off the interview with the burning question, “Why won’t you cheer up?” From there talks turns to weed, Troop Beverly Hills, and being “Just One of the Guys.” It’s a fun time. —Sundi-Rose Holt

You can subscribe to the Sound Advice web series on YouTube HERE.

One Week: Grace’s Guide: The Art of Pretending to be a Grown-Up, by Grace Helbig

Book cover photo of Grace Helbig

Recently I was walking through the bookstore, looking for a good memoir or comedy book, and I found Grace’s Guide: The Art of Pretending to be a Grown-Up by up-and-coming comedian and talk show host Grace Helbig. I’d heard of Grace from her YouTube Channel and her many hilarious stints on @Midnight, but her book gave me a whole new perspective on her and is really tough to put down. The book is part memoir, part self-help. She gives insight into who she is, her upbringing and her struggles, while also offering advice to readers who may also be going through similar situations—everything from how to deal with anxiety, how to nail a job interview, even how to act on a first date.

I also learned that I can get through any situation if I just imagine someone getting hit in the face with a loaf of bread, and it works! Grace has an amazingly creative sense of humor which is what I love about her. If you like reading non-fiction from inspirational, hilarious people, I strongly suggest reading this book. And if you don’t want to read the book—or need more convincing—just check Grace out on YouTube. You won’t be disappointed. —Cara Cooper

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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