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'Chuck' fan recap: I now pronounce you husband and wife

Season 2 | Episode 13 | “Chuck Versus the Suburbs” | Aired Feb 16, 2009

It’s Valentine’s Day at the Buy More, and Big Mike is not feeling the love. His wife chose today of all days to deliver their divorce papers, and he is coping by doing actual work. The Buy Morons cannot stand for that. So Morgan and Co. decide the only way to continue slacking is to get Big Mike laid.

The boys set Big Mike up with an online dating profile, in which he lies about every aspect of his life. But boy, does he meet a nice lady. The next day, Big Mike says his date went very well (if you know what I mean). But he really likes Bolonia, and he doesn’t want to lie to her, so he invites her to the Buy More to come clean. But it turns out that Bolonia wasn’t 100% honest either. She has a son, and his name is Morgan. Drama!

Big Mike dates Morgan

Elsewhere, Charah is being awkward deciding whether they want to do something for Valentine’s Day or they need to do something to keep their cover. They land on the latter, and spend an awkward evening sitting silently on the couch, doing their own thing. But thank god for missions!

Yeager, an operative who has been missing for over a year, finally turns up, and he’s basically insane. His mission was off the books, but his last known location was a cul-de-sac called Meadow Branch. (Did you know the plural of “cul-de-sac” was “culs-de-sac”?) Beckman needs someone who will blend in to infiltrate the neighborhood and track down the terrorist Yeager was looking for. Congrats, Chuck and Sarah, you’re getting married.

Chuck tells Ellie he and Sarah are house-sitting, and Ellie is excited. She tells him this is a dry run for their possible real, grownup life together. But for now, it’s just a mission. Chuck pulls up to his cover house rocking a vest in a sensible car. The house is decked out with photoshopped photos of Charah’s fake life together, and there’s even a cover dog!

Domestic Sarah is making approximately $55,000 worth of potato salad because the Carmichaels are hosting a barbeque (and Casey is installing the cable). Chuck meets the neighbors, including Brad White (Andy Richter) and Sylvia Arculin (Jenny McCarthy), the latter of whom puts some serious moves on Chuck. Her husband, Cliff (Brian Thompson), is out of town a lot; Charles is welcome anytime (*wink*).

Chuck Versus the Suburbs

But Chuck doesn’t flash on anything, until Casey finds a bug on the brownie platter—a Fulcrum bug. But which one of the neighbors is the agent? While they try to figure it out, Charah continues to play house. Sarah makes omelets and feeds the dog scraps of bacon and Chuck can’t wipe a stupid, happy grin off his face (and neither can I).

But they figure out their bad guy soon enough. A fingerprint on the bug came back to Cliff, Sylvia’s husband, and he also bought tons of cable—the kind used to hack government databases. They need Chuck to go and investigate, and Sylvia is his way in.

Sylvia is surprised Chuck came over so quickly (“Charles Carmichael always comes quickly”), but she’s not complaining. She takes Chuck straight to the bedroom and starts stripping him down and handcuffs him to the headboard. Chuck stalls by asking for a drink; he’s never committed adultery before.

Sylvia Arculin (Jenny McCarthy) on Chuck

Chuck manages to escape and hack the computer with the mystery cable, and it initiates a test sequences. Images like the intersect start flashing and Chuck passes out momentarily before escaping. Then Cliff gets home; he and Sylvia are in on this together. And since Chuck survived the test, they’ve found their subject.

Back at Castle, Sarah thinks Chuck has Fulcrum programming in his brain. And since Chuck’s cover is now blown but Sarah’s isn’t, the Carmichaels are getting a divorce. Then Chuck flashes on a cul-de-sac map with the Fulcrum intersect. The whole neighborhood is Fulcrum, but it’s too late to warn Casey and Sarah. They’ve already been captured.

Chuck rushes over, and the Fulcrum intersect freaks out, flashing on every neighbor he sees before he’s captured, too. He wakes up in a testing chair. Sylvia and Brad know he and Sarah are CIA. Fulcrum is training agents to use their version of the intersect, and they want to recruit Chuck.

Chuck Versus the Suburbs

They run the full program on Chuck, and he survives. Chuck plays along and pretends he’s wiped to give Casey—who escaped from his own cell—time to program the computer. Chuck closes Sarah’s eyes and Casey runs the program, exposing all of the Fulcrum agents to their unstable intersect.

The threat is taken care of—for now. But Beckman tells Sarah that Fulcrum is close to completing their own intersect computer. Chuck has never been in more danger.

Back from his “house-sitting,” Ellie asks Chuck about his trip. A disappointed Chuck tells her that Sarah definitely isn’t going anywhere, but they’re not like her and Awesome. He and Sarah aren’t ever going to be anything more than what they are right now. (We’ll see about that, Bartowski.)

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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