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'Veronica Mars' nostalgia recap: Everyone's a suspect

Season 1 | Episode 17 | “Kanes and Abel’s” | Aired April 5, 2005

Now that we’re really getting more in depth into the Lilly Kane murder, side stories seem to pale in comparison. This episode’s mystery of the week that Veronica has to solve almost seems like filler material next to the good stuff. There’s a race for valedictorian, and this year, the competition is intense. Not only does the winner get to say they’re the best in their class, but they will also be receiving a full-ride scholarship to the college of their choice, thanks to the generous program sponsored by Kane Software. Talk about winning the jackpot there.

Sabrina Fuller (Megan Hennings) hires Veronica to figure out who has been harassing her; someone has been attempting to thwart all her plans to study. From tires being slashed to car alarms going off all night to even her face and number getting posted in a phone-sex ad, every night brings more troubles for Sabrina. Now she can’t concentrate on her schoolwork. She’s convinced that it’s her ex-boyfriend Caz, but when things happen even with him in their company, it’s soon apparent that there’s something else going on.

Veronica suspects the other valedictorian candidate, Hamilton Cho, because he needs the money to go to his dream school: Oxford. It soon becomes apparent that he’s not involved either. Running the plates of the car with the never-ending alarms, Veronica discovers that it belongs to the ex-wife of a rival (and sleazy) private investigator, Vinnie Van Low (Ken Marino). Using cookies as bait, she then is able to find that Hamilton’s dad hired Vinnie to harass Sabrina because he wanted his son to get the scholarship. Even though Hamilton has nothing to do with this, he’s forced to drop out of the valedictorian race so that Sabrina’s mom won’t press charges against his dad. For someone whose future seems potentially ruined, he has a rather good head on his shoulders. I’d also like to point out that Sabrina never thanks Veronica for helping her, and is also pretty much a jerk throughout the entire episode. It’s also clear that her family could afford college without any financial help at all. Yet I think at the end, Veronica respects Hamilton way more.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the good stuff. Last episode, Veronica discovered that Abel Koontz has a daughter, and that she is the recipient of a big payoff from Kane Software because of her father admitting to the murder. On a whim, Veronica goes and finds Amelia DeLongpre (Erin Chambers), who inexplicably BELIEVES A STRANGE GIRL SHE HAS NEVER MET and goes off with her to a seedy hotel to keep safe. While I completely get why Veronica is doing this, I cannot buy how naively trusting Amelia is acting here. She doesn’t really question Veronica, and she doesn’t seem to contact anyone else to verify everything Veronica is saying. It’s a bit maddening because it just seems so unsafe. I mean, basically Veronica has this girl locked up in a hotel room, telling her to not have contact with anyone and to tell no one that she’s there. Veronica even brings her food, like she’s some locked-up captive. What if Veronica was just the innocent-looking front for a much bigger scheme?

I suppose in the long run, it’s a good thing Veronica got to her first because Clarence Wiedman, now aware that Veronica knows what is going on, is hot on Amelia’s trail too. He gets to the dorm room a few minutes too late; the trail seems dead, so he tries to break into the Mars’ home. Unfortunately for him, Keith is at home, and truthfully has no idea what is going on. This won’t last long, because Veronica is forced to admit to him everything that has taken place. Though he’s initially irritated at her for risking her safety, Keith finally fills in Veronica on what is going on with his own investigation, and the two start working together. He tells her he believes that Jake Kane called Wiedman the night of Lilly’s murder, after he discovered the body. They know they need to get the settlement papers that will be sent to Amelia to prove that the Kanes are indeed behind the payoff. Veronica starts to imagine how all the Kanes could have possibly killed Lilly. From Jake being enraged that Lilly was with Weevil to Celeste angry at Lilly for talking back to Duncan having an epileptic outburst, Veronica creates scenarios in her head of how the murder could have taken place.

Amelia calls Veronica to let her know that the settlement papers have arrived, but ends the call early, as she gets another call from her boyfriend’s phone. Veronica and Keith arrive at the motel, confident that things might work out—only to find Wiedman already there. Amelia has fled after hearing the truth about her father dying, which Veronica had left out. Not being able to trust Veronica anymore, she’s left with an insanely large amount of money to start a new life.

It’s not over yet. Keith is now being more open about showing Veronica his evidence. When he went to question the Kanes directly after the murder, there was a load of laundry running. The Kanes normally have their staff doing their laundry, so this is an out-of-character move for them. Inside the dryer was a soccer uniform.

Does this mean Duncan killed Lilly in an epileptic rage, and the Kanes were washing the uniform to remove the evidence? Will Logan and Veronica continue to stay friends? Did the writers of the show choose the characters’ names specifically so they could have this excellently titled episode? What does Peking duck pizza really taste like?

Until next week, Marshmallows!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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