EW Community TV Show Episode Guides and Recaps from EW's Community

Dr. Quinn Medicine Mondays: Ain't no party like a Colleen party

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “The Healing” | Aired Jan 23, 1993

Good Monday, you little pioneers. A few weeks ago, we started a long wagon ride into Colorado Springs to explore the world of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and all those silly adventures that she goes on. To be honest, it’s exhausting. I mean, last time we talked, Johnny Cash had to stop a whole town from killing a Swedish man. I’m not even kidding with you—it’s a damn mess. But now we’re five episodes deep, so let’s jump in and recap what happened in “The Healing.”

In the town center, literally everyone in town is trying to get a piano in the back of a wagon, and Mr. Bray almost hurts himself, but the focus doesn’t stay on him long. Why? Oh, well, a prostitute runs out into the street to report that something is wrong with a client. What’s wrong with him? Oh, he died. I would write more about what happened, but honestly, I’m preoccupied by how on point Dr. Mike’s patchwork dress is. Also, I’m so over Bray and Olive. Like, I’m not saying that Mr. Bray’s sexism is okay, but I think that Taylor Swift once quoted Katie Couric as saying that there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other. Remember that, Olive.

Anyway, the real point of this episode is that Colleen #1 wasn’t invited to hang out with the popular girls because she has straight hair and the other girls have sick curls. Okay, I made the last part up, but seriously—she can’t hang out with them. Like, she tries to pair up with people for the three-legged race and no one will be her partner except for Sexy Reverend, which is not fun when you’re just a girl trying to find her place in the social circle of 19th-century Colorado.

It’s all super-obnoxious and totally unbelievable because when Alice goes and hands out her invitations to her birthday party, she gives one to the girl with the lady version of jheri curl and the girl with Harry Potter glasses … but no invite for Colleen #1. In response, Colleen #1 goes and cries face-down in a wagon of hay. Dr. Mike tries to level with her and says, “People who are popular when they’re young go on to lead really dull lives, and people who are different go on to be successful,” and then I cried because it’s as if she’s speaking to ME. Colleen #1 asks for an example and Dr. Mike says, “Abraham Lincoln,” and Colleen #1 says, “THEY SHOT HIM.” #SadButTrue

The real important part of this episode is that Mr. Bray and Sully apparently have a long-term feud because he married his daughter and she died. But the battle only heats up when Mr. Bray gets a hernia (from that damn piano!) and needs surgery, but he won’t have it—not with no lady surgeon. Loren is not handling that hernia well, which is why he just gets drunk instead. But when he gets drunk, Mr. Bray gets pissed at Sully for marrying his dead daughter again, and somehow manages to get into a fistfight with him. He ends up collapsing, and then Michaela suggests surgery.

Naturally, everyone in the town begins to make bets—white men (sans Sully and the Sexy Reverend) bet against her, and anyone who could qualify as a minority bets on Michaela. I want to bet on her too, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Mr. Bray die. No, I’m not sorry. Michaela cuts in and Colleen #1, in her shadiest moment yet, says, “That looks like chicken fat.” Maybe that’s why you don’t have friends, Colleen #1. That’s when Jacob Silcker passes out. Michaela calls for a clamp because she has a bleeder—luckily, I recap Grey’s Anatomy too, so I know what that means. Colleen is, like, the best scrub nurse, and they clamp the bleed. And after word gets around that Colleen #1 is the next Meredith Grey, Alice shows up with a birthday-party invitation because Colleen’s earning potential just went WAY up.

Anyway, as Mr. Bray is recovering, Ms. Olive stops being nice and starts getting real—she admits that what Michaela did was super-important, and regardless of the outcome, she is thankful. Elsewhere, Colleen #1 overhears Alice and her friends admit that the only reason they invited her is because Ms. Olive made her invite Colleen. It’s a huge blow.

Anyway, Mr. Bray wakes up, and he’s 100 percent not thankful for anything and just super-angry. Michaela suggests a transfusion, and what’s crazy is that Sully offers his blood up for it. Why? Well, it has nothing to do with blood types—it’s all about it being better if it goes from a man to a man because that’s how science works. Michaela admits that sometimes it works and sometimes not, and they don’t know why. Mr. Bray wants them to move anyway because there’s no way that Sully is ending up with that land—that man is too proud, y’all. Dr. Quinn breaks it to the kids that they’re going to have to move, and no one really loves the idea. Alas, Mr. Bray don’t care, so they pack up shop and get ready for the move.

BUT THEN, Mr. Bray admits that he was being too harsh, and he hands Sully an envelope and tells him not to open it until tomorrow—guess what it says? Oh, it’s just the deed to the homestead, which means that Michaela and the gang don’t have to move! Michaela gets to stay in her first home and everyone is happy again!

Colorado Springs Gossip Mill

  • That conversation between Sully and Dr. Quinn was so heated! Why can’t they just, like, love each other already?
  • Still missing Robert E. and Grace. I’m not over it.
  • Dr. Mike’s fashion game is on point. Colleen #1 could afford to learn some life tips from our girl, Mike.
  • How unfortunate would it be to die in the middle of hooking up with a prostitute? Like, seriously.

This week’s episode was way more calm than normal, and that’s even with Michaela performing her first operation. But honestly, we needed a calm week—Dr. Quinn ended up being way more intense than I expected. However, this week’s fashion game was on fire, and I loved it. Patchwork quilts and decorative vests and that sick doily hat Alice was wearing … a lot went down. Let it all settle with you, and until next week, don’t be trying to lift heavy pianos or anything.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

You May Like