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'General Hospital' fan recap: Nurses' Ball and bombshells

Season 53 | Episodes 19-23 | Aired Apr 27-May 1, 2015

The nurses of General Hospital would like to welcome you to the Nurses’ Ball. But before that can happen, the strangest kidnapping resolution of all time must befall us. Fresh off being busted for drugging Michael, Kiki and Morgan return home to find a cooing Avery in Silas’ living room. Carly and Sonny show up, and Carly proceeds to tear into Morgan for his cockamamie plan.

Carly rightfully points out that the whole scheme was more about humiliating Michael, with no thought for Avery’s safety. Morgan, dutifully moronic, still insists it was the right thing to do because of Michael’s judicial wrangling.

In all of this, the return of Avery is little more than an afterthought. Morgan fully believes Michael deposited Avery there to frame him and Kiki. Dante, having been sent to the apartment by Michael, knocks on the door; everyone’s (save Carly’s) first impulse is to hide Avery so she isn’t returned to Michael and to avoid answering questions about her presence. Seriously, do they stick her in a closet? Sonny insists that Dante needs a warrant to search the premises, so Dante arrests Kiki and Morgan for drugging Michael (despite Morgan’s inept attempts at denial).

One might assume the next steps would be telling the police Avery is safe, hiring Morgan and Kiki lawyers, and actually investigating who took Avery… but nope. Instead, Sonny pays Michael a visit, admitting he has Avery, and offering up her custody in exchange for dropping the charges against Morgan and Kiki. The deal is made, and apparently the police have no concerns about the sudden reappearance of Avery. Kiki and Morgan aren’t seen at the Nurses’ Ball, so maybe their punishment is being grounded? In fact, the only person still dealing with Avery-abduction questions is Nina, and those inquiries are only really coming from Franco.

Prior to the Ball, a few secrets have to come to light so there can be the appropriate level of drama and shenanigans (and, of course, scantily clad Lucy Coe). Having discovered Pete’s true identity, Carly makes her way to New York City to confront the con man/actor. Pete denies knowledge of the con and Ric, but Carly uses her bank account to force Pete to reveal the truth and agree to out Ric at the Nurses’ Ball. If she had spent as much time disciplining her kids as she does trying to take down people who wronged her friends, the first three paragraphs of this recap wouldn’t even exist.

Next up is Olivia’s baby-daddy secret. Thanks to Braxton Hicks, Olivia ends up at GH. Safely released, she and Ned cheer their ability to keep a secret while waiting for the very public elevator, so naturally Sam overhears. Sam is torn, understanding Olivia’s motives, but feeling a tug of allegiance toward her father. Will Sam keep the secret … or just discuss it in a public place where she can be overheard? Odds are on the second, as she already whispered about it on the red carpet.

Learning of Franco’s acquisition of Ned’s ELQ shares from Rosalie, Nikolas thinks his takeover plan is within grasp. Lulu spies her brother with Michael’s assistant and concludes they must be dating. Weary of her cousin constantly hugging her husband, Lulu deposits Valerie at Wyndemere and procures Nikolas as Valerie’s date for the festivities. Valerie spies Nikolas and Hayden canoodling, but assumes it’s the aforementioned Rosalie. Nikolas wants Spencer to attend the ball, but Spencer is still sulking over his injuries and the loss of Emma’s love.

And then … it is time for the Nurses’ Ball! Before the red carpet commences, Brad is surprised by a knock on the door from Britt. The fugitive returns to town, seriously, to watch the red-carpet arrivals with her bestie. Obrecht shows up to check in on her wayward daughter, and then Britt and Brad settle in to watch the show, with Brad even skipping the red carpet with Lucas for some shared ice cream time. Brad fills Britt in on all the new couplings she has missed, including Sam and Patrick, the uncoupled Lucy and Duke, and the never-coupled Anna and Sloane.

Newly smooching Sabrina and Michael enter, as a ball is always the best place to go when your baby sister has just been returned. Britt and Brad bemoan the lack of hijinks, just as Spinelli accidentally steps on Maxie’s train and sends her stumbling to the floor. It’s hard to say which horrified Maxie more—the televised fall or Nathan and Ellie arriving together.

The ball begins with Lucy’s introductions and the annual nurses’ Broadway-esque number. While Obrecht doesn’t interrupt the opening number, she shows up as soon as it’s complete to perform Nena’s “99 Red Balloons”. Ah, Obrecht … never change. Highlights of her number include incessant balloon-popping and Jordan plugging her ears in disdain.

Ric is up next. Just before he begins, Molly places a little black velvet box in front of Elizabeth. It’s almost surprising that Elizabeth notices, as she her eyes are constantly on Jakeson and Hayden. Her eyes dart forward, as Ric begins singing Bruno Mars’ “Marry You” in front of a photo/video montage of himself and Elizabeth. But before the question is even answered, confusion sets in as the slide show freezes on Jakeson and Hayden’s “wedding” photo (thanks Spinelli). Carly fabulously crashes the stage, busting Ric and bringing Pete front and center to expose the charade. Carly takes immense glee in her former captor’s downfall, and Elizabeth serves up an empowered slap to Ric’s face. Ric tries to defend his actions as love, but Elizabeth asserts that love includes honesty and respect. Elizabeth states that not only is there no good in Ric, but he’s certainly not good enough for her. She banishes her former husband from her life, just as Carly does the same to Hayden and the Metro Court.

Spencer sits at home, despondent over seeing Emma and Cameron on the red carpet. The fact that he sits in front of a fireplace is a bit odd, but the arrival of his beloved Britt is just what he needs. Britt gives the depressed heir a pep talk, encouraging him to go after Emma and attend the ball. His cohort in shenanigans is just what he needs, as Prince Spencer Stefan Niklosovich Cassadine decides to attend the festivities.

With a lull in the show, Lucy invites Brad up to fill the program gap. Luckily Brad knows all the words to “Marry Me,” and performs it a bit more uptempo and autotuned than his predecessor. With some impromptu backup dancers, Brad gets the crowd going and brings Lucas to his feet. Feeling the moment, Brad takes the opportunity to propose to a stunned Lucas. Isn’t it a shame that Bobbie doesn’t appear to be present to witness the moment?

Backstage, Elizabeth is crushed over Ric’s actions, wondering when she’ll learn. Nikolas comes in to comfort her, but she opts to go after Jakeson, since he isn’t really married. Nikolas mutters that Jakeson is married, but brushes off Elizabeth’s confusion. Elizabeth states that it’s time for her and Jakeson to be together, so Nikolas stops her from rushing off with the only thing in his arsenal. After months of not telling Sam, Nikolas tells Elizabeth that Jake is Jason!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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