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'General Hospital' fan recap: Hitman hijinks

Season 53 | Episodes 14-18 | Aired Apr 20-24, 2015

When you think of a missing baby, you imagine press conferences with parents pleading for a safe return, organized police searches, and Amber Alerts. But on General Hospital, you get snarky headlines and accusatory conversations. Outside of a few Nathan and Dante interrogations, it was stunning how little anyone seems to actually be looking for Avery.

Carly was focused on the Jakeson/Hayden situation. Morgan and Kiki were discussing their inept plan to drug Michael. And Sonny stops by Michael’s ELQ office to ask if his estranged son kidnapped his sister. Why weren’t they out knocking on doors, searching empty warehouses, doing something to find the missing baby? After years of taking the law into their own hands, how was this the situation where they chose to sit back?

Sonny and Michael’s conversation was long overdue. While the pair aren’t on the precipice of mending their fractured relationship (murder is a hard thing to get past), the calm way they deal with each other speaks volumes about the possibility of reconciliation. It also provides the perfect timing for Sonny to be present when Sabrina arrives with evidence of the tampered allergy medication. Michael, truly no dummy, instantly puts the pieces together and realizes that Kiki and Morgan set him up. Coincidentally, the aforementioned arrive at the same time with a half-baked plan to swap out the drugs for the real allergy medication. Morgan rebuffs Michael’s accusations, but after a quick brotherly tussle, the real medication falls out of Morgan’s pocket.

Morgan halfheartedly tries to deny the obvious, but it is clear that the jig is up. And to the amusement of everyone, Morgan reverts to his favorite sulk … that Michael is the chosen son. A viewer chorus of “Grow the heck up” surely ensues. Michael threatens to call the police, also insinuating that he thinks Kiki and Morgan are trying to frame him for Avery’s abduction as well. And while that might be far-fetched, Kiki and Morgan return home (to Silas’ apartment) and find Avery cooing in her playpen. It’s still probable, despite Silas’ comment to Nathan that his mystery patient is dead, that Silas took Avery to save Ava via bone marrow. The fact the Silas returns to town just as Avery returns only cements the theory.

The surprise of finding Jason’s wedding ring under Patrick’s couch was a complete nonstarter. No sooner does Emma reveal that it came from Spencer than Nikolas shows up at Sam and Patrick’s doorstep to explain it all away. The idea that Helena took it off of Jason at Crichton-Clark is perfectly passable, but just how many “Jake is Jason” red flags need to come to light before Sam starts wondering? Heck, she’s now living with a man whose wife returned from the dead. Even Spinelli, who keeps throwing out “stone cold” comments, isn’t quick to put the pieces together.

Sam is, however, quick to notice a college ring in Spinelli’s hastily snapped photo of Hayden and a headless Pete. A quick hack of the college website reveals Pete Ross, whom Spinelli positively identifies. He shares the information with Carly, who is downright giddy to recognize Pete as the alleged pre–plastic surgery Jakeson image in Hayden’s faked wedding photo. Carly runs off to Jakeson at the garage to reveal all, but Jakeson is dismissive as he is knee-deep in the brewing mob war. Note to Jakeson: When working undercover, it’s best not to save the police commissioner’s phone number in your cell as “Sloane.”

While Jakeson goes fishing to see whom Julian and Carlos have a hit out on, Carlos and Bruce (Duke’s bodyguard) are actively botching their missions. Bruce tails Jordan and spies her in a clandestine dock meeting with Anna. Now that Jordan and Shawn have exchanged “I love yous,” Jordan is adamant that she wants out of her assignment, and this time she really, really, really means it. Anna scuttles that idea, pointing out that they only have firm evidence to take Shawn down for tampering with the mayoral election. Anna waxes nostalgic about loving a man she is on opposite sides of the law from, and Jordan finds herself between a hitman and a hard place. But then Bruce opens fire, hitting no one (per the Port Charles norm), and the conversation grinds to a halt. Anna later finds bullet casings and a stray button, leading her to believe that she has solid evidence on the shooter. Of course, the fact that she and Jordan believe that it was an attempted Jerome hit is sure to derail the investigation.

Duke is, of course, the target of the Jerome hit. Carlos sets up camp in Jakeson and Hayden’s hotel room to take Duke out on the Metro Court terrace. Carlos moves at a snail’s pace, missing any opportunity to shoot his target, as T.J. and Shawn block most of the sniper shot setups. While Duke is busy offering to pay for T.J.’s college, which will surely make up for planning to kill T.J.’s mother, Carlos is interrupted in his mission—first by a call from Sabrina, then by Carly and Spinelli sneaking in the room, and finally by Hayden returning from her daily sojourn to the gym. Carlos tries to bluff, saying he’s a friend of Jakeson, but Hayden is curious as to the presence of his firearm. Carlos leaves, and Hayden quickly questions Jakeson as to his coworker’s motives.

Finally, Ellie and Nathan make each other’s acquaintance, which will surely end with each person back with his (Maxie) and her (Spinelli) rightful partner. Even Lulu is circumspect about Maxie’s choice of her baby daddy, as Maxie and Spinelli seemingly exhibit none of the relationship chemistry they used to have. Questionable on the chemistry front is the new bonding between Dante and Valerie. While Dante is not doing anything more than comforting his cousin-in-law, Lulu comes across as almost shrewish in her hostility towards her newly found relative. Does Lulu really have something to worry about?

Next week brings us the beginnings of what is sure to be a memorable May. Stay tuned for the Nurses’ Ball and LIVE episodes!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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